15.11.04

hella footnotes.

14 pages, 70 footnotes, and 2,704 words later, my paper is over.

*sighs*

andrew says I'm an english major stuck in a music major's body. I sure hope so. I didn't talk about a single one of Scarlatti's compositions in this paper, just his life. If that gets me an A, it won't be because of anything music major-esque. That'll be english b.s. and writing skills all the way.

to bed now. My alarm will ring in 4 hours and 15 minutes. Golly gee, I love college.

14.11.04

read this, liked it.

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are. You were created for community.

once upon a time. dime..no...time...shoot.

You may not remember this post over HERE, but I sure do.

Read it.

And then come back here.

And I'll tell you that I got 51/52 on it, but she gave me a bonus mark for doing such a good job. Which means that...I got 100% on it!!!!

Hooray for 2 am!

13.11.04

996 done, 1004 to go.

well kids, here's the deal: I'm about halfway through my paper, and it doesn't read like a puddle of mud. Perhaps like a tall, cool class of chlorinated water, but not mud. So...it's not JUST WHAT you always WANTED...but it's good enough.

:D

My brother's girlfriend just called for him. They're talking now.
*sighs*.
I really wanted to call the BOY bass player tonight, but I got all nervous and so I didn't.
*sighs*
Now I have 1004 words left to write about more than half of Alessandro Scarlatti's life.
*sighs*
Oh, woe is me. Boo hoo...boo hoo....boo...aaaaaaaaah whatever. I'll be fine.

The other night I was having a bit of a panic attack, and I started thinking that MAYBE if I could just get injured...crash my car, break my arm, do something requiring stitches...then I wouldn't have to work on the paper. I could get a reasonable extension.

WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!??!!!

That's insane. But sometimes, and I'm sure most of you will relate, the workload gets so piled up and crazy, that it destruction would seem easier than ploughing through it all, non?

Alright bellas and boys, it's back to my paper I go. I'm too good a driver to crash the car, and who would want to wait for 5 hours in a hospital line-up, just to get a few measly stitches, just to get an extension on a paper you could have finished during the hospital line-up, and in the end...there'd be no scar?

ah ha...long and crazy. That's this post.

bye.

12.11.04

puzzles

I've been going to school with the same 30 or so people since last September. Mostly, they're great. It's like family though--sometimes, you just need your space.

Two of the guys are just....more unique than I can explain to you. A couple of hard-working, pot-smoking gong shows, but even that doesn't do them justice.

This year...there's a bunch of new 18-year-old first year girls who are just ga gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for them. They follow these boys around, always talking to them, flirting it up big time.

I just don't understand it, these are not the really hot, or really attractive guys in my program...there aren't very man of those anyway....but I just...it puzzles me.

Hence the title of the post.

Puzzle.

11.11.04

inspiration

my essay will be...a series of letters, written by Alessandro Scarlatti to his son, Domenico Scarlatti, both from the father-to-son angle, and also, from the viewpoint of their relationship as 2 composers.

yes.

that is my plan.

now, if only i could get started...that would be nice.

headlights?

As I descending into Richmond, the fog thickened.

Thick the fog became.

So I drove slowly. And got home safely.

*phew*

7.11.04

blablabhalbalbhbhtghglalbhghalal.

TO ALL THE ONES I KNOW AND LOVE:

Sometimes I am busy, too busy to hang out.
It comes from these assignments
Music, writing, reading Grout.
It is not because I hate you,
or wish to be way.
The reason is quite simple...I need a longer day.

Please do not be downtrodden,
or think that I am lost,
but lift me up in studying,
(or help me pay the cost;)

It's a good thing I am doing, on that we can agree?
To learn the gifts that I've been given
is a priviledged responsibility.
One day I'll sing you opera,
in Italian, German, French.
And as you shed a tear of wonder
you'll know just what I've meant.

For now, dear friends, I need the love
which you so freely give.
Please do extend it to me, though far from me you live
in schools, and offices, and carpools and homes
whose thresholds I may not soon cross.

I need you still
for you make my life
overflow with joy, with laughter.
I cherish very much in my heart
our times of regal chatter.

An essay waits, a song to be learned,
and so, dear ones, I part.
To end this poem I leave you with
my German word of choice.
It means "to go", in the leaving sense,
but in english, it sounds a gas.

So here it is! Fahrt! away!
now, now I must go.
To Jo, I say "in the morning, friend",
to the rest of you
I sing...

so long.

6.11.04

new?

does my blog appear on your screen in a bigger, rounder font that it used to?

no? then i guess my computer's just crazy (very possible).

yes? then my blog changed its own template (creepy).

BASS bass bass bass BASS bass bass bass...

over pie (the math symbol) and muffins (the food) and coffee drinks and bed-chillaxin' conversation the friendship is happening. and maybe more.

it's really good.

i'll keep you posted.

literally.

2.11.04

ode

o
i am full of
potato-leek soup.

so full of warm
warm soup.

happy with the taste
the feel
the warmth
of my soup.

o
i am full of
potato-leek soup.

29.10.04

i'm sailing away...

I'll be @ keats for the weekend.

So if you need me, call me...and I'll be back on sunday.

yes....a weekend on a rainy island with the wildings, dave ward, my asap mates....and a whole lot of Baroque era music in my ears.

Ah ha. Ha Ha.

Ich-laut!

28.10.04

retro thursday.

2 years ago today....

I worked at Mitchell YMCA.

I napped.

I went with Nicole to see Dashboard Confessional in Seattle.

I drooled over Chris Carabba's guitar player. Johnny.

I nearly fell asleep driving home.

I raked fallen leaves.

Mikael and Jessica came over
(2 years ago tomorrow). I think they told me that I deserved better than the boy I liked at the time. (I think they were right. I hope they like the new one when they meet him).

Huh. 2 years ago seems like far away.

I'll symphonie your fantastique.

WELL WELL WELL.

I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL NOW!

AIIIIIYA.

I WISH THAT I HAD NO MORALS (okay, not really) BECAUSE THEN I COULD BUY MY TERMS PAPERS OFF THE INTERNET AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WRITE THEM.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah right.

26.10.04

world without hunger

We shall see if html talk works in the title line.

I've got a new mix CD care of JO! to listen to in the car tomorrow.

WOOTED.

Also...a date. Heh. Well..maybe not a date. But we're definitely hanging out tomorrow night which means I have to get hella homework done all day. *sighs*.

I'll keep all ya'll posted.

Oh yes. Hejira @ the Railway club tomorrow @ 9.30pm. $8. Go. Go. GO and dance.
Or kiss a frog.

;)

24.10.04

am I cool!?!

APPARENTLY....I did something cool, but I don't know what it was!!!


Ooh and...shout out to Leigh. You're my best opposite EVER.

ready for bed. now.

I'm so scared of being alone
that I forget which house I live in
and it's not my job to wait by the phone
for him to call.

just a little caedmon's call there for you kids. Yep.

Well. Apparently you're only REALLY COOL now if you have 2 pairs of glasses! Seriously folks...it's the only truly well-accessorised way to go.
I mean....what would you ever do if you were trying to be elegant, but your glasses were TOTALLY caj? Aiiiyyyeee. Thank goodness for excess.

and Chef Boyardee.

23.10.04

sancta maria!

Well, well, well. After a morning full of latin (and the after effects of much curry goodness) I am home again, if only for a titch, before I rush off to the world of ice cream and Tim's birthday.

Like I said, my life is CRAZY.

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I lost my scarf. Long, striped, BRIGHTLY coloured...save it if you can. I miss the darn thing.

i have love for you

New music came in the mail today.
The weight of the charges on my visa card come to rest upon my shoulders and my bank account.

ah ha ha ha...

but at least the music will be good.

21.10.04

best day ever

Life can be a little bit messy sometimes, like my desk. A MESS! But once in a while a day comes along that is just perfect.
Like today, for example.
Breakfast with Jenny B, which was so sweet. Then as I got ready to go to school, Shannon called...it was going to be impossible to get into North Van, so we went for a 2 hour walk & talk in English Bay!
Then I bought pants and came home.

That doesn't really express the goodness of the day though. It was sweet, and crisp, and bright, and everything excellent about fall. I think I appreciated it more because I'm so busy most of the time. The occasion to just enjoy a day and time with a good friend is so rare, and when it came...hallelujah!

Well. The goodness now extends into an evening of reading. wooted. No Wonder Years for me after all.
Maybe it's all for the best.

20.10.04

if cell phones give you cancer...should this be in my pocket?

hey.
i'm eating a buster bar (from dairy queen).

so good.

the only problem thus far with even liking a BOY bass player in the jazz program is....i never see him! it's almost impossible. our classes conflict like pea coat with a mud puddle. so...i just end up feeling anxious all day.
what a waste of time.

no more anxiousness.










there. that was...easy.

not wearing pants.

I was driving home from north van tonight, when I passed a rather upsetting church sign.
it read: there is no second chance to make a good first impression.

true enough, but herein lies the upset...
The church is meant to be a place of GRACE. A place where you are accepted, loved, forgiven before you ask for it. A place to know that there is nothing you can do to change that God absolutely adores you, warts and all.
Yet, here is this church, broadcasting UNgrace. Screw this up, and you're done for. There's no trying again. So you'd better get it right the first time.

devastating.


Maybe it was just a catchy phrase to put upon the sign, but that almost worsens the insult. If a church is just another place for everyday cliches and maxims, why bother?
There is so much more that needs to be made known than the propensity for failure.

19.10.04

on my...er...mind.

there's a bass player @ school who i like maybe more than i should during midterm time.

a boy bass player, to clarify.

i just don't know. my heart's all a flutter.
and my words are all jumbled up.

he loves me, he loves me...not?

17.10.04

hello.

Hi. My name is Melinda. I'm Abba's daughter, and He loves me.

HE LOVES ME!!!!




how was your weekend?

15.10.04

weekend of...peace.

this is sweet relief

i'll be listening to Brennan Manning in Victoria this weekend. A very exciting prospect.
i hope yours goes well too.

God bless.

m.

14.10.04

party of huh!?

Do you remember Charlie from party of five?
He was the eldest brother of 5 orphaned children. Strong, good-looking, silent. Just trying to do his best to keep them together, usually screwing up along the way, but in a very...loving way. Very cliche, very tv...it was a great series.

Tonight, I was watching tv (after my post-school-skip-small-group-hour-nap), and I came upon Pippin..or Merry...one of the hobbits! He's on a show about a plane wreck's survivors..."lost". ANYWAY....there was a man on the show, looked very familiar (blue eyes that go pop!), and I couldn't place him. Then I pictured him with a mid-90's style mullet...and it was....CHARLIE!!!

HE's back!

woot.

13.10.04

Hygelac? Hrothgar? Heremod?

i'm almost done my essay.
almost...done..my...essay.

almosy...don...e....my...ess......a...y.

might go hear brennan manning speak in Victoria on the weekend.
sweet action!

12.10.04

oh no. don't start that again.

"thanksgiving weekend. i'll bring all my books home and get lots of work done. i'll write my essay, and learn my pmi songs, and read all my history textbook material. then, i'll bake a turkey, and a pie, and join a bible study, and do all the errands i've had on my mind for weeks. it'll be so great and relaxing (in the end)."

*ahem*

i am slowly going crazy, 1-2-3-4-5-6, switch!
crazy going slowly am i 6-5-4-3-2-1, switch!

i am...crazy going slowly 645321 swatch
slowly crazy am i going 453261 swutch...




help.

10.10.04

turkey gobble gobble

hey ya'll.
happy turkey feats!
yes feats. how is it possible for one person to eat so much food!?

but feasts as well.

i gotta go eat my cousins...i mean, eat pie WITH them.


heh.

bye.

turkey gobble gobble

hey ya'll.
happy turkey feats!
yes feats. how is it possible for one person to eat so much food!?

but feasts as well.

i gotta go eat my cousins...i mean, eat pie WITH them.


heh.

bye.

9.10.04

tea for two, but three...for..tea..

just enough tea to go around.

i've been groovin' to the sounds of 'sunday mornin' by maroon5.

makes me happy.

i have to write a paper this weekend. and i must remember that i have a huge term paper due (i almost wrote dew there) in a few weeks. Alessandro Scarlatti. i think i will write it autobiographically (that's allowed), as if i were working with a librettist (opera story writer), writing an opera about my own life. could be excellent. gives me a chance to talk about his work, the time he lived in, people he interacted with....how life correlates with music...

ahhh.

if only i can remember to do it.

7.10.04

appogiatura?

just going to bed now.

2-freakin'-am.

wow.

at least my theory homework is done.

4-3 sustained anticipation.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah right.

6.10.04

i'm so loved.

tonight @ asap, we talked about adoption. not just earthly adoption, but also the fact that God's adopted us, become our Father. Abba, Daddy.

what struck me is this...adoption is more than birth parents not wanting or being able to keep their child. it is also the desire and the longing of the adoptive parents to have a child. the "unwanted" or "unexpected" child is longed for before it is even born.

5.10.04

from the depths of the hallway of toxic mold, monster bugs, and dust...I write to you.

I left my house late this morning..maybe @ 7.55am. I knew I'd be late for school, but figured that I'd be there by about 8.40am, no big loss.

Half an hour later, when I was sitting in my car, stagnant and frustrated on an on-ramp, I thought how silly that assumption had been.

Twenty minutes later, coming off of that ramp, I was pissed off.

Ten minutes later, when somebody honked at me as I turned right, INTO THE SPACE he'd indicated he was leaving for me, I swore audibly.

Twenty minutes later when I got to school...I beat up my locker.

2.10.04

cell phone rings again.

AHHHHHHHH!!!
SO MUCH TO DO!!!

LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN knowitall for the midterm LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN

learning to be less awkward

Tonight I went to a friend's engagement party. WOOT! I was excited to go, to be invited, but also very nervous. The same nervousness that grabs you when you walk into the cafeteria in high school, looking for a place to sit. Most of the reason why I never ate in my cafeteria. And why I still don't.

...


I was nervous tonight, and so to avoid going I had a shower, shaved my legs (so smooth!), I ate dinner slowly...then finally, it was time. I had to get in my car and go. Unsure as to where in the city the address was, I went out of my way to find out, eventually navigating my way to the house.
I walked up the front walk, the stairs, all decorated with tealights, shimmering so beautifully in the darkness. The first face I saw was my friend's (such a comfort!!), and he invited me in. As I scanned the crowd for familiar faces, I found none.

Not a one.

All my mutual friends had copped out...well, all but 1 as the evening would prove.
*sighs*
So, I set about the task of meeting new people! *shiver*.

It worked! 3 or 4 really solid, conversations! I stayed 2 hours later than I thought, without the usual temptation of "oh, my friends are here".

Wow.

Either I looked really hot tonight, or I'm getting way better at socialising.

1.10.04

ugh.

the week is nearly done.
homework's just begun
to pile upon my weary head
still filled with pains of headache--oh dread
i the night
for if i cannot sleep
aching restlessness will carry me
to dreams of wandering sheep.

30.9.04

Trackabackashackamackawhackaklackajackablacka

TrackBack Explanation
By Mena and Ben Trott

A Beginner's Guide to TrackBack

What Is TrackBack?
In a nutshell, TrackBack was designed to provide a method of notification between websites: it is a method of person A saying to person B, "This is something you may be interested in." To do that, person A sends a TrackBack ping to person B.

TrackBack ping: a ping in this context means a small message sent from one webserver to another.

And why would person B be interested in what person A has to say?

*Person A has written a post on his own weblog that comments on a post in Person B's weblog. This is a form of remote comments--rather than posting the comment directly on Person B's weblog, Person A posts it on his own weblog, then sends a TrackBack ping to notify Person B.

*Person A has written a post on a topic that a group of people are interested in. This is a form of content aggregation--by sending a TrackBack ping to a central server, visitors can read all posts about that topic. For example, imagine a site which collects weblog posts about Justin Timberlake. Anyone interested in reading about JT could look at this site to keep updated on what other webloggers were saying about his new album, a photo shoot in a magazine, etc.


History

TrackBack was first released as an open specification in August 2002. It was released as both a protocol and as a feature of Movable Type 2.2, which contained the first implementation of TrackBack. Since the true value of TrackBack only comes when many sites support it, TrackBack was always planned as an open system: a system that could be easily implemented in other weblogging tools.

little old chinese men say....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh so! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

29.9.04

stones taught me to fly.

The headlines read: COLLEGE STUDENT ENTERS SUDDEN VEGETATIVE STATE!!!

Today, a 22-year-old college dropped to the floor, in a heap of unintelligible ramblings. It is believed that she was fed, or somehow otherwise ingested a toxic substance, causing her to lose all intellectual function. Classmates say that she has not yet returned to normal, though some of her speech functions have returned. When asked what happened, the student grimaced, and replied, "I forgot to bring an extra dose of sudafed to school with me."
Yes, another tragic incident of...sudden mucus-flooded-sinuses.

The moral of the story: always have the drugs you need on hand.

28.9.04

suds

Dooooooooooooooooes anybody want to...record onto VHS some soaps (as in daytime television dramas) for me tomorrow morning, scan for an infidelity/deceit storyline, and then bring the tape to me @ school, in time for my 4.30pm english presentation?

Yes!!!

Oh..no...okay...well...thanks then.

dusty hallways and cold, early mornings.

my voice is like this, "snap, crackle, pop.....fizzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

voice major? ha ha ha.

26.9.04

cross-eyed

I've been reading "canterbury tales" for english class....the middle english speeling is maekening me crossenyeed.

25.9.04

if God had a name...

something else i borrowed from julie's blog.
she's a keeper.
as is don miller.

here:
'what if we accept homosexuals into the church.
what will happen??
people's live will get changed! thats what will happen.
they'll hear jesus and god will speak to their hearts..
if he doesn't want 'em to be gay then the holy spirit can handle that.
but for some reason we've made that our battle, our fight
like its up to us?!
thats not what god's called us to do!
god calls us to love people.'

24.9.04

fritz on the schnitz, it's a blitz.

minty supper!

The CRAZY vending machine at school (aka the fiddy-cent machine), has been on the FRITZ!!!

On Thursday morning, t*rex put in $2, got her chocolate, and $3.50 in change!!! That's a profit of $2!!!
THEN...the machine ATE my dollar!!! With no merchandise received.

It went on like that all day.

Poor thing's crackin' up. And it empties faster than...*snap*.

23.9.04

me and Pachelbel like...oats and honey?

I'm writing variations! I'm writing variations!

22.9.04

something beautiful

the green caught my eyes.

enjoy. (love)
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

i wish i was six again.

who are you?


I tend to divide my day into chunks of time. 15 mins for this, 30 for that, 1 hour for this, etc...
Rarely do I factor in 1) traffic/transit, 2) drowsiness, 3) conversation, 4) the time/space continuum [sp?], or 5) the need to chill.

heh. I wonder if I might need a personal manager/chauffeur....
interested?

20.9.04

uh....

LESS TALK, MORE BACH!!!

18.9.04

the phone rrrrrangeth not.

it's nice to have friends who just hang out for the sake of good company....and maybe ice cream.

17.9.04

even reading glasses can't help me now.

Here I am, all ready to study.

BANG CRASH SLAM WHAM DU NA NA NA NA NA NA NA PFFFFFFFT!!!

A tragic accident of sorts? No no. Just my dear brother and his friends playing FREAKIN' ROCK AND ROLL just a few thin walls away.

*sighs* Move over, Monteverdi. Rock n' roll is here to stay.

i wish i was six again.

band of many words...

I saw Theo today!!! He was riding in a fast little car that flew by me.

My heart delighted!!!

And then...I went to choir. And sang a high 'A'.

note: 2nd floor of my building...vending machine...prices are ALL set to 50 cents. It's sooo cool.

16.9.04

one last thought...

My sister schools/works @ twu, and she's studying a book by Don Miller with her boss/co-workers right now.
This is something Don Miller said, and julie of the edge posted it on her blog. It is over.... that way.

Here is the quotation:
"When we talk about relationships with people, we use phrases like "invest in people," "this person is priceless," or "this relationship is bankrupt." By using economic metaphor we've begun to think of love like money. There is this sense that we can't love homosexuals because that's endorsing them. So, we spout little cliches like "hate the sin, but love the sinner" but we don't actually do that. We sort of isolate ourselves from the world because we fear them, we don't understand them. I think the root of that problem is the fact that we treat love like money. We exist in this social economy where we use affection as dollars."

"...One of those issues is homosexuality. Conservatives will say, you shouldn't embrace these people or accept them in our community or let them be in leadership positions because it's a sin, and they're all pissed off. Certainly it's a sin; it's something that God probably wants to deal with people about. But homosexuality is not a sin any more than, say, gluttony is a sin. And that means we love them, we keep them in our community. If they repent about it and want to try to change, that's great. If they don't I'm not going to kick them out of our community. When science says people are born homosexuals, I would say absolutely people are born homosexuals. Satan is an unfair guy, he rules this world."
-donmillerinterview

It's opening up my world...

13.9.04

paradox?

it's like this...I'm SOO tired, and I just have a little bit of work left to do, but I'm too tired to do it. So I just keep staying awake, being more tired, and getting no work done, until I get my second wind, do the work, and then can't fall asleep. Aiiya, I tell you. AIiya.

12.9.04

what is it with messy hair and fame!?

My brother spent the summer at camp, and *wobbly voice* damn, he's fine!
His hair is longish, and it's this gorgeous sun-bronzed mix of brown, red, and blonde.
My hair usually looks that way too, but the lighting @ the ice house just hasn't yet duplicated the effect of the sun. Nope. Not at all. Hence, I'm pasty, and without my usual array of exciting natural (but actually natural) highlights.

My olde deckhand director walked by the store tonight, so we chatted it up for about 10 minutes. Her name's Lindsay (maybe Lindsey), and she's HILARIOUS. Or rather, together, we make much laughter and joking.
I haven't had a good laugh in sooo long. It was great.

"I could buy you a drink, I could tell you all about it, I could tell you why I doubt it, and why I still believe it..."
--pedro

Ben wants the computer. And so I go. Gotta line up early early *ugh* early tomorrow morning. Why!? So I can get a locker.

Yes yes. Higher education = line-ups. But intelligent ones.

onelove.

11.9.04

"o"

I purchased Damien Rice's "o" tonight. He's listed as "Rich, Damien O" @ Future Shop, so I thought, "OH NO!!! THEY WON'T HAVE IT!!!", because it would have been ordered under the wrong name. But then I turned around, and *bing* there it was!!!! ON the wrong shelf, but there just the sam.e
Now it is HERE, and I have been listening to it.

Mmmm...

I was lying in bed, listening to damien, and reading Beowulf (thinking about soon brushing my teet to aid in sleeping), when I heard a KNOCKING, possibly at the window. Also possibly from my brother's room...he's crazy...witht the knocking...
it FREAKED me out!! Roger thought maybe it was Grendel (Beowulf's monster)...that didn't help.

Fear not! That's what I gotta say to myself when I go to bed.

Fear not, Melinda, the Lord is with you, He does and will protect you. Amen.

HEh...well, off to toothpaste and electric bristles.

one...song.

8.9.04

oooooooh hungry

I AM SO HUNGRY!!!

BUt it's 10.09PM. I'm just going to go to bed, and eat an omlette in the morning.
OH MAAAN...maybe it's just a thirsty thing. I'll drink a litre of water or something.

So HUNGRY!!!

ANother thing: I'm exhausted! I don't think I'll be able to pull off anything later than 10pm this year. Seriously....I'm craving the sleep time.

7.9.04

bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils

The first day of school is over!!!
What a day it has been. Early to rise....late for piano...but it's like I never even left.
I've got homework and practicing to do, so I should get home and do it all before I fall asleep. This whole "working on the weekends" thing leaves much less time for procrastinating.
I hope you are all well.
I thought of something rather inspiring today. My theory teacher is SO different from the one I had last year. She's a small woman, long, dark hair, and very explosive and full of energy. Last year was a tall, blonde man, very reserved, very calculated. Both geniuses, but expresed in different ways.
Her class and way of teaching can to do things...FReAK me out, or challenge me to see the world, and to hear and write music, in a new way.

Exciting.

Truth be told...i really like school.
and Damien Rice. I must go CD shopping soon.

onelove.

new beginning

As we head into another season of school and such,
Let us come before the Lord and proclaim our thanks.


My friend Brian had some solid words and pictures for me tonight. God spoke richly. I'm praying to receive what He said, and for peace. Go in the confidence that God is with you, He is your strength, and your peace.

onelove.

4.9.04

awesome. in that God has done it.

Let us listen for the Lord’s voice, so that we can reach his place of rest.


Interesting to think about that...what would it be about hearing God's voice that would bring us to a place of rest?

Tonight was party party @ harwood's house...hooray for jo and katy being 20. I had a drop of red wine, and Ash shook my hand.

Mikael is well also, not just "not unwell"...

I was reminded tonight of what an excellent thing good friends are. Warm and fuzzy, slightly buzzed and dancing...they bring me so much joy. Like post-miracle water.

onelove. (props to aaron for that)

3.9.04

this too...

The Lord is our delight: come, bless his name.

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Today has been an important day.
I spent time with Pat, which was excellent and enlightening. I listened to Chuck Swindoll talk about grace. I thought about this:
To let go is to fear less, and love more.

How appropriate, as it turns out. You see, my best mate, Mikael, she calls me. She has big news. But somebody else might want to wait for her to tell me. She wants to see my face. Dun dun daaa...I'm freaking out, guessing at it in my head, but not knowing...ahh!! It's all too much. Then...she tells me!

See, there's this guy...he's pretty great...she's thinking of keeping him around for a while....

YEAH! She has a boyfriend! And is a girlfriend! So sweet on SOOO many levels.

And so weird.

I'll tell you his name later, after you know. Heh.

It's strangely timed though, because earlier today, Pat and I talked a lot about relationships, and what if God's plan for us is to be single 'til we're 40, or 'til we die...scary for a 22/23 year old girl to think of, but also exciting. What a challenging life of intimacy with God that would be. Just thinking about it gives me chills. WOw. Also a lonely thought, but not so much. I've got a lot of love in my life, but when I feel absolutely complete is when I worship, or pray, or just know that I am uninhibitedly in my Father's presence. Mmhmmm.

We'll see. What I can do now, is let go of my own hopes, dreams, wants, needs...outside of Christ, and what he can provide, what do I need?

Not sex, no! Not a one night stand, just a walk by the water when I'm holding your hand...(5 points for the reference)

That's the kind of Thursday it's been. Now, 4 straight days of work, leading into 4 straight months of school. See you @ the Christmas parties.

Carry each other,
melinda.of.love

2.9.04

Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again, I say, Rejoice.

Interesting conversation with the manager @ work today. Ended with her being like, "I can't handle this conversation right now, I have to go!"
We were talking about religion, and whether or not truth and salvation can be relative. ie, Jesus is the right decision for me, but buddha is the right decision for someone else.
So, she ends it by walking out the door going, "If someone decides not to believe in Jesus, then they've made the right decision for their life."

Now...there's not much I can do to reply to that. Especially when the speaker is gone. But, I did continue to think about it, and came to the conclusion that relative truth is such a huge crock. It's not hard to find a situation where it all falls apart. Slavery. Rape. Murder. War, with all its complexities. Theft. Even religions which require the submission of women, by force when necessary, are enough to raise the fists of any laid back believer in relativity. How about child molestation? Destroying the life of a child is okay, because the perpetrator feels like it was the right thing to do?

I know those things are different from religious beliefs, but just hold on. It's all very trendy to be into yoga and new-age stuff over here, but have you ever seen a country, a people, or just a person who is completely under the opression of evil? All of a sudden, the worship of which/whatever god/goddess strikes your fancy just isn't cool anymore.

Argh.

So much discussion pent up in my chest right now. And it bothers me when discussions turn to challenges, which I suppose isn't all that different from what I've just written. "Well, what about this!? Huh!? Don't you think this? and this? and this?..."
It's also in the attitude though.

Hmm.

I guess the other thing is this: don't assume that just because I'm a christian that I suddenly have all the answers. Truth be told...I don't.

onelove.

30.8.04

not sure if this can suffice.

I just watched "the Pianist" with Pernille.

It's got me thinking about a lot of things, so I won't write for long. It's about a pianist, a jew, who survived the war in Poland, and was able to work again as a musician after the war.

I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now, by the devastation of that war. The horrors, which I've only seen depicted in films, the things people saw and did and experienced.

My mum has a good friend whose father was forced to join the Hitler youth, although he remained a christian, just not openly. He still has nightmares about the war, and is 70 years old.

I just can't imagine.

Good night. God bless you.

29.8.04

slicing tomatoes. (that's the title, but my titles don't get displayed).

"happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without spilling a few drops on yourself."
--the return of the good, clean jokes, Bob Phillips.

what is a word in the english dictionary, which contains 3 consecutive pairs of letters?

clue # 1: it is a compound word, made up of 10 letters.
clue # 2: two of the pairs are vowels.
clue # 3: the word is an occupation.

more to come.

saturday night, dancing, like the way you move.

Remember that song "Saturday Night"?
I don't recall who sang it...some blonde girl. It was cool when I was in about grade 7, and I know that most of her songs sounded the same.

Saturday night, dancing, like the way you move.
Pretty baby.
It's party time, and not one minute we can lose.
*something* baby..

saturday...saturday.

I went to Worship Invasion tonight, with my danish delight, Pernille. I also saw ANNA!!!!! and, briefly, her husband dave. Hmm...some awesome ladies prayed for me, and I reconnected with some new friends...

Excellent things are happening, my friends. Do all that you can to get in the path of the storm that is the power of God. Get picked up in it. Enjoy the time inside of the storm, and then be able to come back down, and work the fallowed ground.

one love.

25.8.04

strength to get me through the night. and following days.

O God, come to my aid.
O Lord, make haste to help me.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen. Alleluia.

24.8.04

do do do

i'm redecorating my room.
or rather, rearranging it.
yep.
pretty stoked for that.

22.8.04

i won't lie. it's devastating.

at least for the moment, my heart is broken.

Pernille--dts housemate, adopted sister, visiting from Denmark--was to stay with me this coming weekend. Tonight, I went out to where she's staying to visit with her. I found out that another friend, whose absence from the city brought me the honour of Pernille as my guest, has planned to take Pernille away with her.

I am so close to tears, I can't even explain it.

I was so afraid that this would happen. The disappointment and rejection of it is almost too much to take.

goodnight.

20.8.04

today.

O Lord, open my lips.
And my mouth will proclaim your praise.

19.8.04

contests

I noticed, while eating my second breakfast this morning, that cereal box contests usually stipulate "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY". You can send in for the rules, or just read them off the box while perusing the supermarket aisles. I think that is the case for most food contests. You can enter without purchasing the product. (In this morning's situation, it was a chance to design the "Life" cereal box. Yumm.)

I thought this over while masticating my early morning meal, and soon realized that there is one food contest promoter who always stipulates the necessity of purchase: BEER! You can't enter beer-brand/company sponsored contests without purchasing.

Lame.

(But wise. Their prizes are usually pretty cool, so it makes sense to draw in the bling while holding a contest).

contests

I noticed, while eating my second breakfast this morning, that cereal box contests usually stipulate "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY". You can send in for the rules, or just read them off the box while perusing the supermarket aisles. I think that is the case for most food contests. You can enter without purchasing the product. (In this morning's situation, it was a chance to design the "Life" cereal box. Yumm.)

I thought this over while masticating my early morning meal, and soon realized that there is one food contest promoter who always stipulates the necessity of purchase: BEER! You can't enter beer-brand/company sponsored contests without purchasing.

Lame.

(But wise. Their prizes are usually pretty cool, so it makes sense to draw in the bling while holding a contest).

18.8.04

changes

daily focus...find it here.
I picked up the South Beach diet book today. Pretty stoked about it.

It's been a year of changes for me. Not just change as in new car, new job, new whatever, but changes in how I see myself, and how I address issues in my life with confidence. I can acknowledge that I need to lose weight, and be more active, without allowing that to depress me, and define who I am.

Neat, eh?

14.8.04

again.

Daphne says that such ans such was for Frasier's father. Frasier replies (in a derogatory manner),

"So are games with balls, domestic beer, and big trucks that run over littler ones."

Hah ahahaahah ah haaaaaaaaa!!!

I don't know what it is about those Crane boys, but they crack me RIGHT up!

12.8.04

phew

just checking.

11.8.04

wha happan?

I'm BAAAAAAACK!

I don't know why, or for how long, but I have been able to sign back in. Oooh, there have been so many blog-worthy moments in the last few days--who knows if I can remember any of them.

I've just enjoyed a family dinner--grandparents and all--to celebrate our collective unbirthdays. It's a cool way to celebrate birthdays together, even though we aren't able to get together 8 times a year. As part of our gift, Joanne and Dan (my grandparents) gave us each a piece of their house, or our great-grandma's house--things like crystals that hung in the windows, or to me, a tiny water colour painting. And then, as if that weren't honour enough, we each received an ancient Greek coin, from the collection of Joanne's best friend, Joyce, who passed away recently.
Yeah. Wow.

What else can I tell you? Not much I suppose. Except that, I am so thankful for my friends. Honestly, I sometimes can't believe just how many incredible people I know. And that they care for me? ... just astonishing.

I'm feeling kind of sad today, so if you're in the neighbourhood of my house or my ice cream store, stop in for a hug or 2. Nothing cures the blues like some lovin'.

one love.

7.8.04

c-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.

yoyo yo...
I'm back.
I went to imr tonight, thinking I could be out late, because I wasn't working 'til 1pm tomorrow. Turns out I'm working @ 10am, so I'm going to bed now.
Keats was awesome. Or maybe not awesome...I heard a blurb on the radio the other day, talking about awesome being used in reference to all that God is...so to be cautious with how we use it mundanely. But it was a very God-soaked 2 days, so I'll call it awesome.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, PRAISE the Lord.

Amen.

And gooooooood night.

ps I have the scars of a barnacle skirmish all over my hands and fingers, knees and toes. ouch.

4.8.04

away away away.

i am going away. away to a place where for two days i will be blissfully unable to spend my money.

yes. i am going to keats.

see you later.

...we have (still) a great need for a saviour, and a great saviour for our need...
--derek webb


2.8.04

waiting

well well well...I'm not wearing my glasses, and the screen is a wee bit blurry.
Hang on...there, that's better.

*phew*

Not much to report, really. (A quick note: the "shing, sparkle, sparkle" bit is something I got from spongebob squarepants. It's in an episode where plankton is trying to get the recipe for crab cakes, and he gives s.b.s.p. a golden spatula...and makes the noise "shing, sparkle, sparkle" when he hands it to the unsuspecting sponge).

That's all about that.

Now...onto more important things...such as...

MIKAEL is home! Woot, woot!

Pete is moving to north van. *sigh, tear*

Ummm...I have a show on Friday @ work, and one in January...which will bring in some little blings...

I sold 2 copies of my album today...

I'm going to cry, I think. Sometimes, not seeing my friends is unfortunate, but even moreso is seeing them when they've all been together for a few days...and hence...don't need...me.

Yeah.

Pity party. My house. Now.

1.8.04

diva 101 continues...

hi y'all.
opera camp is over. *sighs*. no more diva training...for now.
the results of this week:
my voice is BiggER.
my confidence is More...
Judith Forst told me i sang well.
some new friends and a sunburn from reading in the rose garden.
a tired voice and tired abs and an overflowing of joy and song.
i want to go to ubc.

good nite.

*sparkle, sparkle*

29.7.04

brush with fame! brush with fame!

I was flushing the water fountain @ ubc, before filling my water bottle, when I saw it....
the sign on the locker read:

VACATED!!
name: Alana Worsley

SHIIIIINNNNGGGG! *sparkle, sparkle*

27.7.04

and matthew says...

"well hey when those saplings push through the ground it's so exciting."

carpe diem.  ich liebe es.

diva 101

To her he says, "Part of diva 101 is learning to fill the space with your sound."
 
To me he says, "Developing a voice is like a [potted] plant.  It's something you grow, not build.  I get the impression that your voice is a sapling."
 
That sort of direction is all at once sweet and crushing in its honesty.

26.7.04

i spend too much money.

thoughts:

pretty girls don't always have pretty lives.

my boss came into the store the other day and said, "geez, it's hotter n' the edge a' hell in here!".  (brilliant!)

and lastly....there is NO SHAME in singing loud and long in italian, french, english, czech or german.  so that is what i shall do.

and lastly...i might get a new car stereo.  woot woot waaaaah.

21.7.04

a beautiful letdown

We can't write people off just because they don't "know" Christ.  It is often those who haven't been taught how to think about God who think, speak, feel and live him the most profoundly.  At times, it is the burden of theology, exegeting and hermeneuting, which keeps us from true intimacy, and simple truths.
We can say that God works in mysterious ways, as long as those ways don't include too much wine and cigarettes, dirt and skateshops, mess and ugliness.  There is richness in a life lived in the chaos of grace, and a wealth in amongst the potholes of a difficult road.  That's where the view is the best--when you come to the right spot in a valley, where you can see the sunrise, and realize that your eyes may be the first to see this part of evaporating night.
Maybe there is more redemption in a sunrise than in seeing eyes.
We take too much credit for building and deciphering this mystery.  Really, it is the truth being revealed to us, little by little.  Through a tattoo, or a spoken word, a prophet or a manic street preacher, a parmedic or a concrete pourer--he can speak and appear anywhere, in and through anyone.  For his purposes cannot be cut off, or his voice and power silenced.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there IS freedom.  Relax and be relieved that you don't have to worry about where that is.

19.7.04

could we start again, please?

Jesus Christ Superstar is a great, great, great musical, and Norman Jewison did it much justice on film.
 
Mmmhmm.  I went to a church service called "mosaic" last night, and I missed most of it.  At the end a woman got up and shared a bit of what God's been doing in her life, and read to us a little poetic thing she'd written the day before.  The part that I remember the most is this :
 
My breathing is multiplied.
My thinking, personified...
 
Reflecting on how God's changed her being, her life, every aspect of it.  It was really beautiful, and when it came to trying to remember the whole thing, that was about all I could store in my mind.
 
Jessica is alive and well.  Just thought you'd like to know.
 
peace.

18.7.04

nickname

'melinda the great' came about when I put some clothes on hold at the store where a friend worked.  She tagged them as reserved for "melinda the great", and I rather liked it, so I passed it on to others, and it stuck.  Sort of.  For a while I got emails to "melinda the great, of Richmond".  Anyway...my locker mate this year was Teresea the Great.  Or t*rex.  And I'm m*rock.
 
Apparently I have an arch-nemesis.  Or not really.  But that's what she told my friend James.  It's this girl, who has a blog.  Makes me feel a little...winded, because I think she seems amazing, and it sucks when wonderful people don't really like you.  Or decide that you're to be enemies.
 
Watched "Lost in Translation" with James tonight.  He's a good friend just to be with.

15.7.04

ah ha

didn't nap at all today. got up @ 10am, and just kept on truckin'. went to curves, almost didn't make it...but i feel all the stronger for it.

lots of jenny lovin', she's back from australia today.

woot woot.

bought some accessories and REALLY COOL birthday presents for friends with birthdays coming soon.

yes.

without the nap, i'm famished and exhausted. and so i go to rememdy those now. ta.

14.7.04

returned at last.

Some things to be posted:

"The echo of her laughter is the second sunrise I awaken to each day, and at night I feel it is more than stars looking down on me."
-- Jerry Spinelli, Stargirl

Devastating.

Secondly, I'm reading the chronicles of Narnia. I believe I am on book 5, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, with The Silver Chair and The Last Battle yet to come. Today I read a deliciously poignant piece of the book. I shall share it with you hence:

(A character Eustace has been turned into a dragon...)

"...Just as I was going to put my feet into the water, I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this under skin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

Well, exactly the same thing happened again...how ever many skins have I got to take off?...So I scratched away for the third time, and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water, I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws...but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever elt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.

...He peeled the beastly stuff right off...and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water (a bubbling well in an enchanted garden). It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and all the pain was gone from my arm.

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me...in new clothes.

And then suddenly I was back here."

-- C.S. Lewis, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Chronicles of Narnia.




29.6.04

today i was attacked by the most deadly assailant of all...allergens.
yes. the beastly mildew, dust and smoke particles invaded my store via the back door, and proceeded to launch a full blown attack on my immune system.
it was a battle. i fought back as best i could, but with my physical symptoms becoming a burden and a headache, i knew i had to take drastic measures. so i closed the back door, blocking the path of the homicidal air riders, and thus giving me time to recover.
it took about an hour for my breathing and thinking capacities to return in full, but we made it.

phew. i gotta go to laundry now. peace out.
m.rock

26.6.04

movies to see

on the corner--playing @ capital 6.
farenheit 9/11
shrek 2
the notebook

i think those are the movies i want to see. not too many. mostly because...a lot of movies suck.

question: have you seen the commercials for 'white chicks'!? because if you have...isn't it obvious that those 2 guys undercover aren't really the pretty blonde twins?! i've never seen such ugly women. Blech. it's like people getting fooled by batman's mask. he still sounds the same! it's so obvious...

lastly...i saw a documentary on channel 5, called...espanosa ?, or in english, 'a cry for roma'. it was about the roma people (gypsies) in europe. pretty sad situation. picture the ways jews were treated during world war 2, or rather, leading up to it. minus the gas chambers, that's what these people are enduring.

i went to bed thinking this: if God has not given up on the world yet, there must be some hope left. and that, if nothing else, brings me enough peace to sleep.

25.6.04

MariaMail - Email driven by personality

a few things
1) Wednesday was red-and-white-striped tie day. At least for David Letterman, Paul Martin, and Peter Mansbridge.
2) I'm voting Conservative. More because of key issues than anything else. I wish I agreed with more of their platform, but I don't. OH well. True patriot love, in all thy Son's command.
3) I haven't gone to Curves yet this week. Ah well. Lots of other wonderful things have happened.
4) Not including the last few nights when I've stayed awake 'til 2am, watching TV. Ugh. Puke. Blech.
5) I've got a show! With Anna Vandas (formerly Tkachenko). Tuesday July 6 @ 9pm, @ piece of cake up in north van. So come on out to that!
6) I have to go to work now. It's been nice chatting with you.

23.6.04

beautiful day

beautiful one i love!
beautiful one, i adore
beautiful one, my soul must SING!!!


tonight was good food for the tummy, and good soul food. great music (yielding the purchase of 2 new cds), sweet conversations, and tears of joy. a family reunion with an rto sister i'd never met, and setting up some gigs with a sister i love to sing with.

best day off...ever.

22.6.04

just kidding!!

beloved, listen to me.
don't believe all that you see.
and don't you ever let anyone tell you
that there's anything that you need
but me.



even so, it's going to be a rough summer, without my benny around.

15.6.04

i wish i was six again.

don't start forest fires

I was driving home from my voice lesson just a few minutes ago. When I got to Shell Rd, the "a train approaches!" lights and sounds were going off, so I stopped my car, and allowed the train to pass.

A few things:
Watching the cars as they approached the intersection was okay. Watching them pass, however, made me feel naseous.
All the cars of this particular train were excessive in height.
I had this (well-controlled) urge to 1) race across the tracks as the train was coming, and 2) slam my car into the train.

A little disturbing, but in a more positive light, I may be headed for a career as an action-hero. They can do that sort of thing. Truly invincible.

jo's pillow

here is my forgotten ode: to jo's pillow.

Friday, September 13, 2002

I just remembered that Jo took her pillow back. It has been keeping me in sweet, sweet slumber for a week...and now it is gone. I shall compose an ode to the pillow...

~O pillow, purple cover, smells like...nice.
Inside white, lumpy, yet soft on the other side.
How I shall miss thee, dear pillow, dear pillow.
I know not, I comprehend not...why have you left me?
O pillow, O pillow...do come back to me. And whisk me off to nights of sweet slumber and dreams.
O pillow, O pillow...do come back to me. And carry me gently, while of sweet things I dream.
Carry me gently, while of sweet things I dream.
~end.

YEp.
There it is. Now, onto the land of my bed I go...

13.6.04

nap-er-ific

Last night, I headed to bed @ 7.45pm, just for a little nap. I had a few people in mind to call when I woke up, and planned to sleep for maybe an hour. Plenty of time for sweet saturday night action.

Not so.

I awoke @ 11.45pm.

Now, having spent some time awake (to win back my tiredness), I am going to bed. Again.

Oh...don't you wish that your own life had this much excitement!?

(seriously, if you knew the beauty and the comfort that is my bed...you'd be excited too).

8.6.04

Le Blog du Moi.

KITTENS!!!

I was @ work, all alone, when the lady on Z95.3FM told me that Calgary had lost, and the cup was in Florida.

*tear*

It wasn't the greatest moment ever. Rather deflating, actually.

Until my brother remarked that Tampa [which makes me think of Tampax Tampons, which makes me think that Tampa is a stupid place for a team] Bay's hockey team (lightning?) has only ONE less Canadian than Calgary Flames. SO...without Canada, they wouldn't have the Stanley Cup. It's practically ours, anyway.


Yeah...I know. It's not terribly consoling right now.

4.6.04

aaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Dealing with one friend-based slamdunkofanissue was enough.
now...now there are more. it's all going up in flames.

which reminds me, CALGARY WON!!

oh, i seriously can't even pretend to be excited right now. i'm going to bed. and hopefully, to camp 2.