donchanoooooooh.

This morning, I was driving home from Surrey, and I reeeeeeeally had to pee. And I found that, I could hardly think about anything else. The full bladder was so distracting.

Even now I have to pee again, and I'm typing extra fast, and just trying to get this over with so I can go!

ah!
bye.

UBC says...

Dear Ms. Appenheimer,

Congratulations and welcome to UBC! We are pleased to offer you admission to your second choice, the Bachelor of Arts program at UBC Vancouver for the 2005-2006 Winter Session, beginning September.

The University is pleased to offer you the TREK Excellence Scholarship starting in September. It includes a $2000 scholarship and an early registration date.

...

Once again, welcome to UBC. We wish you every success in your studies and hope that you enjoy the many opportunites UBC has to offer.

Sincerely,

UBC.




(and no, this is not a joke. I fully received this letter in the mail this morning...In the words of new Canadian hall of fame inductee, Alanis Morisette, "isn't it ironic?")

my hometown.

I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face,
with a touch of my father, just up around the eyes.
And the sound of my brother's laugh...
more wrapped up in what binds our ever-destined lives.

the management

I talked to the dean of admissions for music, and he said that my audition today was more about studio (private lesson placement) than acceptance. So basically...I'm in. The official word will come in a week, so I'll post the definitelynotchanginghereitisthefuture word then, but for now..

FOR NOW...


FOR NOW!!

word on the street is = I'm moving to Lethbridge.

detour

highway 97 north
highway 24 east
highway 5 south

2 hours later, back on track.

just outside banff, "following too close" ticket, and an rcmp who taught me a lesson by taking 30mins to ticket me up.

goooooooooooood greek food at night.

good times all round.

home soon.

[ l o v e ]

sometimes, you just know.

Sometimes, you just know you're being talked about...usually in a bad way.

Sometimes, you just know your manager isn't pleased with you, and that now would be a good time to find another job (or move to alberta).

Sometimes, you know just your SIN number, but not being able to find the card makes you rather nervous.

Sometimes, you just know you should be at peace, but you're nervous like a chicken in a fox's lair.

Sometimes, well...sometimes, you just know.

back on track. uh huh.

I haven't been running regularily for about 2 weeks now. I had a cold, some bronchial issues...oy vey, it just couldn't be done.

TONIGHT, I decided, was the night I would re-gain the ground once lost to minor cold symptoms. Ta daaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

I started out around 9.30pm (after much earnest procrastination), and it didn't look good. 2 minutes in, I thought, "aiiiiiiiiiya....maybe I SHOULD just give up and gain 300 pounds...", but instead, I kept running.

I completed the 8 min run, and found a neighborhood street route in the process. I was going to head home, but I thought, "hey, let's try the next 8 min...or maybe just 5."

So, I took my 1 min walking break, then began to run again. And I ran. and ran. and ran some more. My legs started kicking into "autorun", where they just went...and went...and finished the second 8 min run!

I couldn't believe it! I ran the last minute gasping and praising God. Faithfulness...I love it. Encourages me to trust in all the other things I'm so close to giving up on.

To bed. One thing I always perservere in...sleeping.

[ h e a r t ]

far away.

my voice is far away.

i haven't really sung much in the last month or so.

heh.

i mean, i've sung, but not opera style, not to the Bb's that were the top of my range...

*sighs*

feeling a little panicky about that right now....what with this audition coming on Friday and all.

do it chicken. squawk.

Get a FREE iPOD.

oh...but...no, sure...that's...uh huh. okay. ta.

teaguy finds his teagirl...
yay...

but also...

huh?!

but also..

of course! finally!

and then...

where does it leave me? standing...sitting...still close, but not as...
still welcome, but with a point of wearing out...

mmmmmmmmmmmm....

sometimes life is so awkward on the phone, because not every conversation can be best said with words.

2 posts. yes. i wanted them to be separate.

I've had this killer cold/lung/nasal/overallcrappy thing going on for about a week. I haven't been running because it's not really...practical to run when you can't breathe.

The lack of physical activity was driving me crazy, so I decided to go for a run today.

My lungs aren't really happy about it...but they'll get over it.

The good news is that my running motion/rhythm felt sweet...totally refreshing, good speed, consistent speed...

That's all. I have to go get ready for work. Mmmm....ice cream....

[heart].

oh no. don't start that again.

We have 2 phone lines @ my house...line 1 (the orginal) and line 2 (the addition).
The line 2 number used to be safeway pharmacy or something, so when we first got it a few years ago, there were lots of early saturday morning phone calls, asking for the safeway pharmacy.

Eventually, those calls stopped.

So imagine my surprise when I got a call for Safeway this morning!

Yeah. Shocking, I know.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....gnnnnnnnnnnn.

hi everyone.

tonight, i wanted to see laura brook, but instead i slipped a card through her mailslot.
tonight, i wanted to cuddle with somebody warm, but instead i hung out with bro and his girl. (still wonderful...)
tonight, i wanted 200looseleafteas from steeps, but it was closed early...
so we went to tim horton's instead.

blaghalghalalalalalahghla.

i need to get to lethbridge. anybody wanna come? no seriously...let's do this.

help!
i need somebody....
help!
not just anybody
help!
you know i need someone...
help...

i hate letters.

"We are sorry to....I regret to inform you that....With so many applicants.....The standards for application were very high this year....Sure you understand...Try again...."

crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

Okay, so none of my plans have worked out so far, and now when I need to be focussed and ready, I'm sick. Throbbing, fever, throat, nose, lungs, ugh, gungh, blech, blaaaaaaaaaah.

Good thing we've got so many tastefully decorated, strategically place kleenex boxes.

yeah. good thing.

towels. no, seriously, i'm talking about towels.

what the heck kind of family fights about towels!?

oh wait...mine.

resting...

I just got home from church.

WOW.

A man named John spoke to us today, about the church in China.

Wow. Just...wow.

My heart's all stirred up, again. This China thing keeps coming up for me...a vision, an opportunity to go...it's all there.

I'm off to sell ice cream now.

fabutan-a-licious.

I went tanning today...for one of the last times. I used this accelerator cream that totally makes your skin burn and turn red...heh...healthy?

ahem...

When I got to the tanning place, there were 2 guys waiting. I assumed they were waiting for girlfriends, and one of them was. One was totally waiting for another guy though...apparently it was "boys' tanning night out"...I laughed inside my head.

While I was waiting this couple came out looking TOTALLY lobster'd. I think they got the same deal as me...the regular brings a newbie, and you both tan free for a week. Thing is, I didn't go everday...no good for the un-sunned skin. But I think those 2 have been just soaking up the fake rays...and they look it.

Anyway....shout out to malcolm and frequency fall. And what the heck, shout out to second too. I haven't been to a show in sooooooo long...but I went to one tonight.

Okay, random post...I'm tired and hungry, but no eating, just bed. Mmm...bed.

hey there...don't steal my duck.

I have this plush duck that I sleep with, because it's softer and cuter than a pillow. Just now I was napping, and my youngest sister came in and stole it.

grr...but I was really too blissfully napp-y to mind.

So, NAPPING!
WOw!

I haven't had a good, refreshing, gloriously awakening nap like this is SO long. It was probably just over an hour-ish of sleeping, but I was so tired and sore and getting stiff when I crawled into bed, that I really had no other options but to sleep.
And sleep I did.

Shoooot. I feel fine. Mmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

This "exercise" may actually be good for me after all.

zoe's purse holds the keys.

this week, i decided, i was hella fit.

check it:

monday: run
tuesday: (okay, i did nothing, but i did go to school and walk up and down the mountain all day).
wednesday: run
thursday: curves
friday: run & curves!
saturday: run & curves!

OH YES!! i am an athlete. or exhausted and crazy...who knows?

could it be...naaww....?

I...there's...you see...

This friend of mine, I've kind of liked him for, mmm.....6 years.
And for a while there, he was just into everything I wasn't, so that was fine, it couldn't work.
Then his heart started changing, and he's been becoming, and now is, this amazing man who does love God, and...it's just that much more we have in common.

He's had this girlfriend, beautiful, petite, sunshine-in-his-life girlfriend. So I knew I had no chance.

But they have recently broken up. And I think it's...over.

So I can't help but wonder...

naaaw...could never be.


?

milk makes me grumble.

I don't even know if I want to write about the thing in my head.
hmmm...

Yeah, I think I'll leave it for now.

green paper.

MINA WE ARE LEAVING AT 8:00AM NOT YOUR CRAZY 8:30AM And I know you think your [sic] right but I am boss tomorrow SO WAKE UP IN GOOD TIME!! IF YOU DON'T I'M JUST LEAVING!!! No argueing [sic] w/me tomorrow!! I am Boss!!! love ben.

(this is the note my brother left me on my bed re: getting up in time to go to his CapJazz audition tomorrow. suffice it to say, he knows me too well).

snap, crackle * achoooo*

The sounds I made this morning were...
*snap* & *crackle* care of my knees,
and *achoo* care of all the freakin' blossoms and junk outside.

I hate spring.

grr...

getting buff.

Today, I worked.
Yay.

One of our ice cream freezers was off all night (woot...), so the ice cream was fully UNservable.
But...these ladies came in, and they REALLY wanted Praline Caramel Crunch, which had melted, but...there was a new bucket stored in the other freezer, so I got it out for them.

HARDEST ICE CREAM SCOOPING EVER.

Well, maybe not ever...but it was pretty hard.

So that's my day.

rise...up.

So...prophets are cool.



That's about it for now.

calling all boys!

hey!
keats camps needs male counsellors for this summer!
skippers = get paid
first mates = volunteer
they need both.
so apply already.

in memory.

"We need the enthusiasm of the young. We need their joie de vivre. In it is reflected something of the original joy God had in creating man."
-- his holiness John Paul II.


"A professional soldier understands that war means killing people, war means maiming people, war means families left without fathers and mothers. All you have to do is hold your first dying soldier in your arms, and have that terribly futile feeling that his life is flowing out and you can't do anything about it. Then you understand the horror of war. Any soldier worth his salt should be antiwar. And still there are things with fighting for."
-- Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf.

collection.

On my way home from the cleaner's, I saw 2 ducklings crossing the street. Poor little guys...they looked so scared and unsure. I think they made it, amidst the roar and relentless power of rushing cars...

I hope they did.

FYI

Just so everybody knows...
"balling" and "bawling" do not mean the same thing.
bawling means CRYING.
balling means...whatever....I don't know. But not crying.

got it? good.

ooooh! so cuuuuuuuuuute!

don't crush the little ones.

reflections on moon over water.

on the ferry:
chai tea (venti): no real taste, but very real warmth. i burnt my tonsil scar.
funny couple from u.vic: ORANGERED SWEATER!!!!
percussion major: playing with mallets.
sleeping guy: muttering in his chair.
couple behind me: reading through a map of vancouver, "pacific center, cordova....cordova, robson, pender..."

at the audition:
lots of friends: jen t.rex andrei tex luke = not so alone.
first song: should've brought my repetoire list. porgi amor WAY TOO SLOW.
second song: better.
third song: oh no! not the purcell...oh well.

china town:
parking a mile away: tips on parallel respect.
chinese food: not so sketchy?
bubble tea: sour-style = no milk.

2 days in victoria:
money spent. time spent. hugs given and received. a tin of tea. a rush of love. time to pray is peace.

arriving home: safe.
jonathon gets hit by a car...alive, and a little less well. my heart: pangs.

post: le fin.

spring is spree...

I went shopping today!
Oakridge....sucked me in.

Lots of new green and pink things...debuting soon.

one down, one to go.

I just got back from a run.

whooeee.

my weekly workout schedule is shaping up to be:
mon: run
tue: curves
wed: run
thu: curves
fri: run
sat: run/curves
sun: REST.

something like that. it's a little bit crazy, but for some reason, it's what I want to do.

sprnany

I...need something. Help?

There's a lot in my head. I need to talk to someone. I guess you'll do.

I hate it when I go to write an email to a friend, and I'm nervous. It takes me forever, because I want it to sound just write. Because I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing, or I make my expectations known...I'll only be let down.

Then again, I called a friend today, left a message...and when he called back, all my fears were put to rest. He's a dear.

I think my period's coming. School's done, and I miss my friends. Running's going well, but tonight I stayed in and ate ice cream and napped and watched tv...and I can't even enjoy it. I feel so guilty. Like I'm letting somebody down, and I'm not being good enough.
I haven't been singing, and I've got an audition on Friday.
I'm afraid to love the people I care about most, because I hate getting hurt. I'm so hit by this fear that...

I don't know. I don't know where this is coming from. It's old stuff. And it's all in my head, just jumbling around.

I miss being in a Bible study, I miss weekly checking in. I miss knowing exactly who to call when tears are welling up, or fears, or sadness...or joy.

So that's me today. :)

even if i'm sunburned...

i just read that a teaspoon of moisturizer is a good amount to put on your face.

a teaspoon!?

oh wait...is that the really little spoons?

mmm...okay. well, maybe. but still...it seems like a lot. I just dip my finger in my moisturizer, then dab it on my face, then rub it in. nowhere NEAR a teaspoon.

huh.

today was awesome. afternoon in the sun by the water with emily & tea guy. sidewalk talk with ash & thea. love time with mikael & ben. tea time with mikael & ben & zoe & chonger & roger & ash. & tea guy (obviously!).

*sighs*

so much for feeling lonely!

argh.

I "worked" today. 7.30am-4.30pm, mostly spent reading old issues of Rolling Stone magazine.

Ugh.

I had a hazelnut latte, and some hot h2o with Irish Cream syrup...

pardon me if I feel slightly nauseated.

un bon vin blanc

shout out to LD and the nasalized vowels.

so i just got a new credit card...and i signed the back.
and i figure...it's like getting a new driver's license picture. you want it to look good, but inevitably, you look like an idiot.
same with signing cards. you think, "i can write! i can print! i've used a pen! this'll be easy"...but, once again, you inevitably look stoopid.

gah.

i wasn't joking.

oooooooh. Am I ever paying for yesterday's burst of exercise. Whoooeee. Ouch.

In other news, a quote from Zaboomafoo: "I've got it all figured out! A happy lemur day cake! Let's dance on it, and then eat it later!"

Also, a warm welcome to the new! pope, Benedict XVI.



I had a gross dream last night. Today will be spent, trying to remove it from my mind. Blech.

Oh yes, and a B+ in english is mine. woot?

here we go!

Saucony. That is my new running shoe brand. Something about a wiremeshgrid...
they were hella on sale. 5 points for discount stores.

That was really all I had to say. Today is run #1 of run 2, walk 1. Aiiiya. I gotta do it...or I never will.

Love melinda.

breathe in, breathe out.

well...
my ubc audition is in 12 hours and 45 minutes.

here we go...

gig?

well...well...well...
maybe a little opera chorus suminsumin?

i'll keep you posted.


joyful in hope. patient in affliction. faithful in prayer.

ack.

every muscle hurts.
no joke.
ow.

3 hours ago.

So this english paper I've been working on? It's the first paper I've written with PAPER AND PEN in years! Gosh...I just can't get it out when I type, but with blue pen in hand...beeaaam.

Okay, maybe not "beeaaaam", but it's a lot easier.

Qu'est-ce qu'il ce passe?

update!

things you should know:
- week 1 of running has gone well. I was still 'ahead of the pack' this morning...about a block ahead. Lots of talk about "stick to your own pace...". Oh well. I can't help it if I'm awesome. This week is run a minute, walk a minute x 10.
- option 3 is go! I am dr.love...or dr...how-to-sustain-a-friendship-when-what-you- think-you-want-is-love. *sighs*. Sometimes I miss bass-boy. He was a fun guy.
- love is in the air, though completely platonic. That's alright. It's good to be loved.
- zoe got out of the room...?
- I'm 22, almost 23, home alone on a Saturday night with chicken strips & fries and a semi-written paper. Ugh.
- I'm exhausted, but pretty happy.
- I'm going to end this post.

...


now.

champion!

FREE CELL # 24602.

No chance when I am on the loose.

Melindathegreat strikes again...

If only she could write a paper with her pen.

found.

hey bloggians.
I found this in some archives, and thought I'd throw it out again, because it hit me again when I re-read it.

Oh, and fire update: my hand hurts, but is healing nicely. It's a good feeling to be somebody's hero. ;)

"The contagious joy of Jesus (only carriers can pass it on) infected and freed His followers. The author of Hebrews says: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." (13:8)

If Jesus appeared at your dining room table tonight with knowledge of everything you are and are not, total comprehension of your life story and every skeleton hidden in your closet; if He laid out the real state of your present discipleship with the hidden agenda, the mixed motives, and the dark desires buried in your psyche, you would feel His acceptance and forgiveness.

For "experiencing God's love in Jesus Christ means experiencing that one has been unreservedly accepted, approved, and infinitely loved, that one can and should accept oneself and one's neighbour. Salvation is joy in God which expresses itself in joy in and with one's neighbour." "

-Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel.

i know you were wondering.

I just thought you should know that I look pretty damn good today.

hot hot hot.

Tonight, after our final performance of Carmina Burana, our history prof. invited us over for some eats and drinks and good times.
Sweet.
I stayed waaay the heck long that I meant to, and had everyone convinced that the hot first year boy who came as my "date" was really and truly my date...*sighs*.
THEN...as we were leaving, said first year boy's shirt CAUGHT ON FIRE! (candles...ill placed candles).
People were screaming, and he had no clue, but I saw the flames, and put them out with my hand!
Yes, yes, wise and cool under pressure (or flames) that's me.
The bad part is, a piece of his shirt stuck to my hand, and now I've got a crazy blister/burn on my right hand...
but...I'm a hero.

So...in the end...it's okay.

And if you're ever on fire, call me.

tripping up the stairs.

So, I'm trying to lose weight, right? I go to Curves (which I'm stepping up with some running and biking asap), I try and eat well, I sleep...sometimes. Anyway...
One thing I try not to do is eat late...bad for the metabolism and stuff.
So tonight, I come home to pizza. How can I resist? oh, pizza-ey goodness.
But there's always something, right? Maybe cake, or something innocent like chicken and rice...
But once it's started, why not eat a handful of mini-eggs and some ice cream?

*sighs*.

I'm signing up for a running clinic right now...right now I tell you.
Running will be better than pizza.

Love melinda.

that WAS fun. *phew*

Dark night. Pouring rain.
Granville Island to my house.
21 minutes.

OH yes. My hond-a-matic and I rock the...city streets.

finally!

"All that we can know about God is summed up in these words at once so compact and simple: he is; words that we do not understand except in flashes, in rare and brief illuminations..."
-- Olivier Messiaen

Geheimes Flustern hier und dort.

Was leise mich umschwebt, umklingt
Ich will es treu bewahren,
Und was mir tief zum Herzen dringt,
Will ich, vom Geist der Lef'beschwingt,
Im Liedern offenbaren!

-- Hermann Rollett


(what softly hovers and rings around me,
I will faithfully treasure,
and what touches me deep in the heart
will I, impelled by the spirit of Love,
reveal in songs).

little bitter culture.

Das weiss ich langst. Ich sah dich ja im Traume,
Und sah die Nacht in deines Herzens Raume,
Und sah die Schlang', die dir am Herzen frisst,
Ich sah, mein Leib, wie sehr du elend bist.

-- Heinrich Heine




For all you non-germans:

This have I long known. I saw you in a dream,
and I saw the darkness in your heart's hollow
and saw the serpent that feeds upon your heart.
I saw, my love, how very pitiful you are.



Yeah. Classical mUsic. What-what.

you're my hero.

a poem by Charlie Brown.

Some days you think maybe you know everything...
Some days you think maybe you don't know anything...
Some days you think you know a few things...
Some days you don't even know how old you are.

droppin' outta opera.

Hey...go listen to Kanye West. Do it. Yes, I mean now. GO.

today was a day of smelling roses.

I didn't put on any make up today, and I didn't have a shower until 5.30pm. I woke up at noon, and went for a long walk around the neighbourhood. It's good to see that families still play at parks on the weekend.

Friday night, I was at a music party. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I guess I can say that while I love my friends, being with them while they gorge themselves on all the substances available to modern twentysomethings, leaves me with nothing more than a profound sense of despair and sorrow.

On another note, here's a quotation from an article I just read about Pentecostals and Mainliners, and what we can learn from each other:

"Humility. Mainliners call their institutions denominations. Historically the term denotes, among other things, a group of Christians who see through a glass darkly. Each tradition, it suggests, must recover an aspect of the great body of Christian teachings and practices that others have underplayed or overlooked. (The sect, in contrast, assumes exclusive responsibility and privileged knowledge.)"

Here's the articule.

Have a good night.
Love...

stuffled.

My dad took us out to the white spot today after church.

Mmm..

The problem is...I always order waay more food than I can eat. Like...I got the grill & greens cuz I love the zoo sticks, but I can barely eat a burger, much less the fries and other stuff...

I think now's the time to start ordering the senior-size portions, because seriously...my stomach has shrunk.

IN other news....I want to avoid my paper SO MUCH that I'm thinking about cleaning my room.

confession

Sometimes I check my blog just to click the link to the taylor website so I can check out my guitar.

this phlegm ain't sexy.

boo hoo.

I'm sick.

Waaaaah.

*sighs*

Okay, that's all.

ooooooooooooh...

here is my new baby.

i did it.

bgAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

There's a Taylor 314CE in my room RIGHT NOW and it's MIIIIIIIIINE!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

*ffffoom*. wow.

guitar [the ipa letters aren't on the keyboard! ah!]

I just ate a chicken...caesar...pleaser.
There's definitely one cafeteria guy who makes them awesome, and one who makes them pretty okay. But hey...it's chicken, bacon, lettuce, and caesar...hard to go wrong.

So...big gulps, hey guys?
Well...bring 'em down to Regent @ ubc on friday night @ 7pm to hear me and my rad band (the m.fab) play some rad tunes.
I think it costs money...like $5.
Also, Jessica Morris will be there...and she usually lives in Australia.

Saturday is guitar shopping day.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

russ rosen says...

now that's what I call a great weekend.

glasses can't help me now.

ALL AFTERNOON MY EYE HAS BEEN TWITCHING.

Maybe not twitching. Maybe more like it's been...pulsing. The lower-lid of my right eye. Just enough to drive me crazy, but not enough for other people to notice...which is mostly good...but I think that my constant prolonged blinking and eye poking looked pretty insane...and no one knew why.


NOW YOU KNOW.

Spread the word.

x = [ks]

he sits behind me in english class...

This morning, I got up and went to the doctor. UNfortunately, my allergy shot serum is expired...2 months ago. Heh. So it's off to the great towers of Dr.Tse for more allergy testing.

WOOT.

After that rather...mundane episode, I went to Curves (which has been receiving some nasty attacks from some other LadyFitnessClub in the paper). Working out was good. I felt...worked.
And frazzled.

Two Rights and 4 Lefts later, I was at Centennial Beach in Tsawassen, basking in the (surprisingly) warm rays of this mid-February sun. The seagulls were eating lunch. I found an orange rock.

*sighs*

I really want to live on a beach. Or rather, in a house by a beach. The sound of waves rolling in, the wind, the smell of the water...wow. I feel so calm by the water, and even more calm in it. Yes, it's decided. I'll take the threat of hurricanes over earthquakes. I'm moving to the beach. Preferrably to a tropical beach, where the weather is always warm enough to nap in.



Oh yeah, and there's this cute guy named Andrew who sits behind me in english class, and the other day he said, "hey Melinda, you're late," because I was late...but...he noticed. And that was cool.


[hart] melinda.

girls....

I was going to blog about my ".", because I'm starting to see a pattern in the onset...moods, cravings, muscle pain...but then I decided not to.

Oh...well...sort of.

Hooray for feminineness!

[heart] melinda

a dee a doo a daaay.

hi all.
i'm heading off to kelownasalmonarmkamloops with my choir.

i'll be back on sunday.

comment lots while i'm gone.

[heart] melinda

tuesdays, chiiiiild...

Today was great.
It started bad...Late night brokendown computer...early morning cd burning making me an hour late for school...memories making me feel like swearing (so I read some Don Miller).

*sighs*

BUT THEN...a killer voice lesson. Killer as in...I was doing the killing...with my goodness...of voice. AND THEN...really good theory class. Totally got the homework sorted out. AND THEN...sang in lyric diction...and Geordie (my teacher's) directions for improvement made sense AND they worked! WOw.

Today was a day when I felt like a pretty good musician.

Love.melinda.

in regards to monday...

IT'S OVER.

And it's awkward. And it's not what I hoped for...but at least I know.

Definitely won't be much mention of bass-boy for a while.

Unless I write a song about it.

I hear that there's a 2 day songwriting peak when emotions are raw and pride slightly wounded.

(sorry I couldn't post yesterday. My compy was being stoopid. How emo is that!?)

ouch?

my left ankle hurts.

i don't know.

So...MONDAY.

Monday might be an important day. Inordinately important.

*ahem*

So...watch out for that. Monday.

Oh and get into Craig Cardiff. Like Damien Rice. But with more Canada.

to say the thing which was not.

I'm not even going to blog about how my dear friend J ditched out on me tonight. I won't mention that we were going to go for a quick lil' constitutional, and then he was all, "yeah..maybe I'll do something else."
I certainly won't be talking about how L did the same thing.

NOpe.
Know why?
Cuz I'm so over it.

I drove home in 27 minutes tonight. 27 minutes!! I was impressed.
Screw walking. Driving is way better.

p.s.

mikael is...superfab.

dubula dubula dubula dubula dubula

HELLO!
WELL....
garden state. I did enjoy it. I just felt very...wanting but unable to call someone and just say...I...just....SOMETHING WONDERFUL!

So yeah.

Ahem.

Neat.

I'm so tired today. My right eye has been twitching just enough to obscure my vision, but not enough so that anyone else would notice.

I just ate chicken and rice with mole.
Yumm..

Bed now.

ta!

explain

Watching garden state was great. Yes, I meant to rhyme. I do it all the time.
Blah.
When large and sam are in the pool, and he's talking about home not feeling like home anymore, just a house to put your stuff in, I really thought, "hmm..yeah." For me, home is where my friends are. Not like "oh, hey, it's a party, yay, now I'm home", but I mean the people I share a heart with.

Oh look at me...blech. So sentimental from a stoopid movie.

Argh.

This morning at church, I walked into the "fellowship hall" without my brother, because he wasn't there today. Whooeee. That felt so weird. I realized that I don't really have any friends there. I know people, and I really love a lot of them, but I don't have any real relationships there anymore. It's so bizarre...that's my home church, and I don't feel at home there. I sort of think that it's my fault, that I've missed out on something, but also that there's not much I can do now. I should just slip out, and move on.

*sighs*

Anyway. I have to go hunt for lunch, then head to choir.

love love love m.rock









just kidding. it's melinda.

*snort*

freakin' stupid pissing garden state.

as long as it's already 4am...

[molei]
a mexican sauce, made with unsweetened chocolate and chili peppers, designed to bring together good friends on a Friday night in january.

ooooh Lord.
It is so good to feel this way right now. Belly full. Heart full. Spirit alive.
My new year's resolution was to talk less about my past misfortunes, and instead, begin to look at my life through the eyes that have always loved me; to see past rejections in light of the acceptance I know now.

I think it's a good time to sleep now. G'nite.

(heart) melinda

heart?

i ate wendy's.
wendy's fries.
wendy's fries with mayo.
ashleigh said i should.

i feel full.
full of mayo.
full of wendy's fries and mayo.

my heart may not beat again.

ooooooh....i don't like this.

seventh chords abounding...

There's a car parked just down the street. It's got one of those personalized license plates.

THE PLATE READS:

VII 7

*sighs*
I think my days of plate watching are over.

cold fingers

Sometimes, I get very caught up in being a horrible person. Seriously. It's when clothes and shoes and hair become priority, and I find myself talking about how I NEED to have a basic black t-shirt, and I really NEED to buy some new shoes, and how ohmygosh did you SEE what she WORE today!? FOR SHAME!!!

Ugh.

I really don't care. I've been happiest when I had very little to my name, but all was well with my soul.

High fashion is not for the ones with yearning hearts. OR small paycheques.

cold fingers

snow. snow. snow. snow. snow.

sol...fa...me...re...do.

Today I am excited about music. I'm excited about the m.fab.4 and where we'll go. I'm exciting about playing together in my basement. I'm excited for times when we're the m.fab.5 because there's a guest artist. I'm stoked for crowds to sing along. But mostly...I'm thankful for affirmation, and confirmation, and for the push I needed to jump off the fence and run with this.

Snow makes the world look amazing.

stuffed. stuffed like a grape leaf.

i'm so full of greek food i wish i could make it all just go away.

happy new year.

oops...forgot to throw away the coffee.

I don't know if it is my prairie upbringing, or perhaps my inherent sentimentality, but when fishermen come into my store, order coffee, and then talk amongst themselves about the hardships and joys of life in commercial fishing, I start feeling a little nostalgic.

In other news, some matters of the heart have been settled. The singing boy, who made my knees weak, his heart is held by another. So that's that. Although, he is wonderful...and a good friend.

There's nothing new with bass boy. I haven't seen him for a week or maybe 2...if ever there is something new, I'll post it here for you.

That said...I'm going to go now. And kick myself for not emptying the coffee urns.
AIIYA!

salute.

to the makers of dimetapp-DM and tylenol sinus...my humblest thanks and appreciation.
You have made my Christmas more than bearable.

sayings.

"Faith is the great energy. As long as you have faith, you're willing to try to take another chance. God wants you to amble toward the right spot on the horizon. The idea is that you're willing to get up and keep moving toward that light."
--Billy Corgan

weak in the...blabhablablabahbb.

I went shopping yesterday. Last minute Christmas stuff, you know the drill. While at Sears, I stopped at the perfume counter to try something I saw in a magazine, "Armani Mania". I thought this could be the perfume that would be known as my scent!
Half an hour after putting some on, I was sneezing with the force of a tornado, and all evening I was getting sicker and sicker.
Whoooeeeeeeeeeeeee!
This morning I was awakened by a burning sensation in my throat each time I swallowed.
Ugh.
Sick.
I got up for work, feeling weak and pathetic. I still feel that way. Somehow I made it through my shift, and then a trip to north van.

I'm okay as long as I don't try and stand up or move.

Merry Christmas.

PS...my house smells like gingerbread. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

*breathing*

It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over.
The semester is over.
Oh my goodness.
I'm going to the gym, and then I'm going to drink tea and have a nap.
I'll worry about work and boys later.
For now I must celebrate because....
it's over, it's over it'soverit'soverit'soverit'sover..


IT'S OVER!!!

thea said "mmmm"

He's too perfect. Perfectly boy. Like shoes and jazz. Sings with me and my knees go weak. And I almost cry. And sometimes, he just knows what I meant to say.

There's a different boy...less perfect, but moreso too. There's more between us. But maybe the committment I was keeping myself to was unecessary?



And maybe I just watch too much romance on tv. YEs...I think that is it.

story.

"Oh friends, I am so tired of weak Christianity. Let us be out and out for Christ; let us give no uncertain sound. If the world wants to call us fools, let them to it. It is only a little while; the crowning day is coming. Thank God for the privilege we have of confessing Christ."

the looooooooooooooooong week...

IS OVER!!!

WOw. The last 7 days have been pure insanity. My skin is on the fritz. My throat is on the fritz. My eyes are on the fritz. I almost had a complete sight-singing meltdown. I don't want to drive to north van ever again (but I will...on sunday).

I'm getting an idea of how I DON'T want my life to be once I have a job and a house and all that stuff.

Shooooooot. Sleepy time. Night-o.

Ludwig. What a name!

"You will ask me whence I take my ideas? That I cannot say with any degree of certainty: they come to me univited, directly or indirectly. I could almost grasp them in my hands, out in Nature's open, in the woods, during my promenades, in the silence of the night, at the earliest dawn. They are roused by moods which in the poet's case are transmuted into words, and in mine into tones, that sound, roar and storm until at last they take shape for me as notes."

-Ludwig van Beethoven


"...there was in those small piercing eyes an expression which no painter could render. It was a feeling of sublimity and melancholy combined."

- Sir Julius Benedict

Die Entfuhrung

Best sentence in my music history textbook (today) : "But with so much of their [composers who aren't Haydn or Mozart] music still inaccessible for listening and study, their inclusion would have multiplied the kind of dry, unresonant name-dropping and selective listing that this paragraph regretfully exemplifies."

Mister's Grout and Palisca, you are forgiven.

they're here! on my face!

No, no, not the vermin of pubescent oil glands....MY GLASSES!!!!

They look good. I was getting a little worried...I couldn't remember what they looked like.
But now I do.

They look good.

Bass-boy said they look good.

Aaaand...my dad said I look like a modern co-ed...

Stay tuned!!

double shred.

we have a paper shredder.
It is sitting here besdide me...a paper shredder.

odd. but cool.

bap. bap. bee bap boo.....bap.

that's me scatting. Yep. scatting.

I went to the optometrist this morning, and did he have news for me! My eyes are a...soft prescription? They're working overtime, going crazy, tenser than a newspaper editor at deadline, run out of ink.

Yep.

That's my eyes.

So I can't get the glasses I need...my eyes will reject them! They will reject the help offered to them; my eyes are ungrateful. BUT...if we start with a mild prescription, we can work up to what I need, thus fooling my eyes into revealing their weakness, accepting help.

THE FUN PART: I went and picked out frames today. They're a dark purple/red, funky modern cat's eye thing....very chic. beeaaaaaam.

If I had a digital camera, I'd post some pictures of me in my new specs when they arrive. Oh wait...I do have a digital camera.

Hmm...

I'll see what I can do.

For now, children, go VOTE for the GREATEST CANADIAN!

weird. wierd? word.

my left eye is twitching.

drove past the coquitlam infamous pig farm...now i feel nauseated.

eeeyuch.

g'nite.



ps 'the incredibles' is hilarious. go see it.

smooooooooth.

When I got home from school this afternoon (YES!!! this AFTERNOON, not NEARLY MIDNIGHT. YAY)..anyway, when I got home I still had an hour to kill before work, so...I indulged in some girly pampering.

Yes...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I shaved my legs.


And now they feel sooooooo good.



WOOT!

(too bad I'm single. Somebody besides me should enjoy this amazing-leg-smoothness).

almost...

ready for bed!
just a few more theory questions...

oh shooot.

um. i was going to blog about something...but oh wait...nothing has happened in my life since i've been living at school.

oh...except...i killed a spider yesterday.

a big one.

white and black and red...striped like a zebra. and it was huge. enormous.

now dead.

um...well. that's really all i had for you kids tonight.

peace out.


call me at christmas time.

C.H.A.D.D.

Cybertronic
Hydronic
Android
Designed for
Dancing


Coolest. Man. Ever.

Dance 360. Lame show..."it's a dance showdown, dawg, yooooo maaaaaaan!"

but this guy...this guy was cool.