well friends, i've learned a lot this week.
i learned that we can approach God like an idol, just hoping to strike some sort of deal -- not knowing how much he desires to know us, not just fulfill our wishes. i learned that maybe, just maybe, israel's 40 years in the desert was God's heart expressing this -- he wanted them to come into the land of riches knowing him before the milk & honey.
i learned that loud and obnoxious can still equal insecure -- that even the words which seem to cut so deeply, which couldn't possibly be an accident, might just be someone else's hurt coming through. and if i can make Christ sufficient for my healing, then maybe, just maybe, i can have compassion, and step back to see where a friend needs grace and truth, not accusation and alarm.
i learned that my new (as of 10 hours ago) chiropractor has a technique which just might help me with me ankle.
i learned that floating down the old man river is AWESOME, and a great way to cool off and meet with friends.
i learned that moving in takes time, and sometimes the pieces just need to come together (aka, becca better get here soon...)...
hmmm. i learned a lot of things.
29.8.09
i could've sworn i'd heard of this before...
rob steele *rob steele* is a friend of friends, who i've met once -- but he carries a reputation, at least for the cult-like response people exhibit when his name is spoken.
(think steve holt *steve holt* from arrested development -- except everybody in the room raises their arms).
so, rob has a blog, which seems really familiar -- as if someone else out there in the blogging world pointed me to it years ago.
anyway...it's worth reading. the thoughts and words and epiphanies of another disciple, another son, struggling to receive and walk in the light -- be encouraged.
rob steele *rob steele*
(think steve holt *steve holt* from arrested development -- except everybody in the room raises their arms).
so, rob has a blog, which seems really familiar -- as if someone else out there in the blogging world pointed me to it years ago.
anyway...it's worth reading. the thoughts and words and epiphanies of another disciple, another son, struggling to receive and walk in the light -- be encouraged.
rob steele *rob steele*
22.6.09
summer time
just a fun lil' double post, since it's been a while and my creative writing skills seems to be a bit lacking.
the turn in mood since summer hit has been amazing -- almost mind-boggling. around the end of wintertime, i start feeling as though i am falling to pieces. the cold, the grey, the whole lot...i just can't handle it after march hits.
and then..
here it comes...
warmer days...
less snow, and finally no snow....
sunshine all day long, later sunsets.
and it's summer!
whoooooooooo!
this post is less than exciting. i'm pretty sleepy right now. days are pretty full of life when it's sun time.
more posts later. i'll try and keep track of my witty observations so i can share them with you all.
loves!
the turn in mood since summer hit has been amazing -- almost mind-boggling. around the end of wintertime, i start feeling as though i am falling to pieces. the cold, the grey, the whole lot...i just can't handle it after march hits.
and then..
here it comes...
warmer days...
less snow, and finally no snow....
sunshine all day long, later sunsets.
and it's summer!
whoooooooooo!
this post is less than exciting. i'm pretty sleepy right now. days are pretty full of life when it's sun time.
more posts later. i'll try and keep track of my witty observations so i can share them with you all.
loves!
flashbacks
tonight, benny apples and i were walking our cute lil selves home -- having walked over to DQ to get blizzards, and then stopping by the girls' house to watch some Cute with Chris -- when we saw Deanna drive by.
She didn't see us.
Then, a car horn grabbed our attention and a blue pathfinder flew by -- !
jake dennill!
whaaat!?
fun times, running into friends in the street, sitting in cars, listening to matthew good, with or without his band.
She didn't see us.
Then, a car horn grabbed our attention and a blue pathfinder flew by -- !
jake dennill!
whaaat!?
fun times, running into friends in the street, sitting in cars, listening to matthew good, with or without his band.
7.5.09
rooted
If we skip the step of growing and cultivating in a local church we export an impotent message with little effect. The Apostles walked into cities and villages with the utmost confidence in the potency and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ because they drank deeply themselves. The church is where we drink deeply of the Gospel and are transformed by the power of His Blood and Spirit.
-- ryan matchett
-- ryan matchett
3.5.09
through the children's gate -- adam gopnik
...Check for what? I think secretly. That they are breathing, as Martha does? That they are safe? But what could that mean? Though I tell them they are safe, none of us really knows what safety is, or means, or looks like when it is asleep.
I realize, in the middle of the night, that the love I feel for the children is not at every moment remote enough from the need I feel for them;
all the discipline I attempt to prepare to let them go into their own world, where they make up their own minds and fly away on their own wings, gets lost when I look at them. I want them here, safe, I want them this age forever, I want this situation -- two small children puzzled and, on the whole, happy at home, in a big city, not to change, even though I know that the parent's task is building up and letting go.
I realize, in the middle of the night, that the love I feel for the children is not at every moment remote enough from the need I feel for them;
all the discipline I attempt to prepare to let them go into their own world, where they make up their own minds and fly away on their own wings, gets lost when I look at them. I want them here, safe, I want them this age forever, I want this situation -- two small children puzzled and, on the whole, happy at home, in a big city, not to change, even though I know that the parent's task is building up and letting go.
11.2.09
The Kite Runner.
A few quotes from this most magnificent book.
"But it wasn't just that she'd found an audience for her monologues of illness. I firmly believed that if I had picked up a rifle and gone on a murdering rampage, I would have still had the benefit of her unblinking love. Because I had rid her heart of its gravest malady, I had relieved her of the greatest fear of every Afghan mother: that no honorable khastegar would ask for her daughter's hand. That her daughter would age alone, husbandless, childless. Every woman needed a husband. Even if he did silence the song in her."
"...I suspected every bearded man who stared at me to be a Talib killer, sent by Assef. Two things compounded my fears: There are a lot of bearded men in Peshawar, and everybody stares."
"...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
"It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn't make everything all right. It didn't make anything all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.
But I'll take it.
With open arms.
Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting.
...
I ran."
"But it wasn't just that she'd found an audience for her monologues of illness. I firmly believed that if I had picked up a rifle and gone on a murdering rampage, I would have still had the benefit of her unblinking love. Because I had rid her heart of its gravest malady, I had relieved her of the greatest fear of every Afghan mother: that no honorable khastegar would ask for her daughter's hand. That her daughter would age alone, husbandless, childless. Every woman needed a husband. Even if he did silence the song in her."
"...I suspected every bearded man who stared at me to be a Talib killer, sent by Assef. Two things compounded my fears: There are a lot of bearded men in Peshawar, and everybody stares."
"...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
"It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn't make everything all right. It didn't make anything all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight.
But I'll take it.
With open arms.
Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting.
...
I ran."
10.2.09
a whispered yes
stunning sometimes to ponder
that all my future knowing
and all my future doing
will be a knowing-with and doing-for;
that you love me enough,
and love me yet,
to whisper me a Yes with your life.
-- john piper
that all my future knowing
and all my future doing
will be a knowing-with and doing-for;
that you love me enough,
and love me yet,
to whisper me a Yes with your life.
-- john piper
20.1.09
some highs and lows of 2008...
HIGH:
- gold cord at convocation.
- meeting lisa bromley.
- coming home in the biggest way ever.
- finding the kind of family that goes beyond bloodlines and straight into your lungs and your heart.
- JAB meeting in Carstairs.
- resolving conflict with dee-bot.
- learning to trust God for provision.
- ryan and jackie matchett.
- having deep friends to talk and walk out the hardest season of my life with.
- restoration.
- being friends with stephen and jessica barbour.
- tessa ella.
- jimmy rea.
- brenna applegate.
- GRAD RECITAL.
- finding out that i'm my brother's people.
- new bible
- first ever bridesmaid gig.
- painting
- scott and holly erickson and seattle.
- ... this list is really long.
LOW:
- not having enough money to buy groceries.
- gas prices (a high in their own way...)
- experiencing humility. or the process of there becoming.
- crappy news about married friends.
- my ankle still hurts.
- waking up at 5 am far too much.
- fighting with dee-bot.
- crappy mentoring situation.
- ... everything has its perspective so this list is a little bit harder.
- gold cord at convocation.
- meeting lisa bromley.
- coming home in the biggest way ever.
- finding the kind of family that goes beyond bloodlines and straight into your lungs and your heart.
- JAB meeting in Carstairs.
- resolving conflict with dee-bot.
- learning to trust God for provision.
- ryan and jackie matchett.
- having deep friends to talk and walk out the hardest season of my life with.
- restoration.
- being friends with stephen and jessica barbour.
- tessa ella.
- jimmy rea.
- brenna applegate.
- GRAD RECITAL.
- finding out that i'm my brother's people.
- new bible
- first ever bridesmaid gig.
- painting
- scott and holly erickson and seattle.
- ... this list is really long.
LOW:
- not having enough money to buy groceries.
- gas prices (a high in their own way...)
- experiencing humility. or the process of there becoming.
- crappy news about married friends.
- my ankle still hurts.
- waking up at 5 am far too much.
- fighting with dee-bot.
- crappy mentoring situation.
- ... everything has its perspective so this list is a little bit harder.
30.12.08
wisdom a la starbucks!
"the irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. the act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. to commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
-- #76, anne morriss, sbux customer.
"mother-love is not inevitable. the good mother is a great artist ever creating beauty out of chaos."
-- #36, alice randall, novelist.
"on the battlefield of ideas, winning requires moving toward the sound of the guns."
-- #290, new gingrich.
"do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children's children."
-- #27, noah benShea.
"if you've got a dollar and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've got seventy-one cents left. but if you've got seventeen grand and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. there's a math lesson for you."
-- #112, Steve Martin
-- #76, anne morriss, sbux customer.
"mother-love is not inevitable. the good mother is a great artist ever creating beauty out of chaos."
-- #36, alice randall, novelist.
"on the battlefield of ideas, winning requires moving toward the sound of the guns."
-- #290, new gingrich.
"do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children's children."
-- #27, noah benShea.
"if you've got a dollar and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've got seventy-one cents left. but if you've got seventeen grand and you spend twenty-nine cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. there's a math lesson for you."
-- #112, Steve Martin
14.9.08
one body fest
oooh boy.
so we've been planning this festival for months. september 12...it echoed in our minds and our day planners (or diaries) -- we couldn't get away from it.
what would happen?
would students show up? would they find a church? would churches show up?
we asked dozens upon dozens of questions, except...
will it rain?
will it pour and wind and be freezing cold?
answer: yes.
all the plans of mice and men...do go awry.
so we've been planning this festival for months. september 12...it echoed in our minds and our day planners (or diaries) -- we couldn't get away from it.
what would happen?
would students show up? would they find a church? would churches show up?
we asked dozens upon dozens of questions, except...
will it rain?
will it pour and wind and be freezing cold?
answer: yes.
all the plans of mice and men...do go awry.
11.9.08
My friend Brenda.
1 John 5:13-15 (The Message)
"My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he's listening. And if we're confident that he's listening, we know that what we've asked for is as good as ours."
My friend Brenda Wilchowy (the Pas, Manitoba) has this quoted on her blog. She's going on an 11-month adventure around the world with an organization called "Adventures in Missions".
She and I did our dts together, and became friends over our mutual love of cheesecake. I had the overwhelming and awesome opportunity to see her ever-too-briefly last summer (2007), and I must say that I love her to pieces.
Her blog is a great place to find out more about what she's doing -- I'm pretty excited for her.
I've just been talking with a friend about uncertainty in life, and for me, I am certainly uncertain. I am in Lethbridge, because I know felt that God was asking me to stay here, and it was quite a journey just coming to terms with that. I woke up this morning, amazed that this is where I live -- some days, I really miss home. Some days, I really want to get married. Some days, I want to quit my job and work at the church. Some days, I want to stay in bed. And some days, I am just so absolutely certain that this is where I should be -- something within me believes that this confidence doesn't need to be as shaky as it is.
"My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion. And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he's listening. And if we're confident that he's listening, we know that what we've asked for is as good as ours."
My friend Brenda Wilchowy (the Pas, Manitoba) has this quoted on her blog. She's going on an 11-month adventure around the world with an organization called "Adventures in Missions".
She and I did our dts together, and became friends over our mutual love of cheesecake. I had the overwhelming and awesome opportunity to see her ever-too-briefly last summer (2007), and I must say that I love her to pieces.
Her blog is a great place to find out more about what she's doing -- I'm pretty excited for her.
I've just been talking with a friend about uncertainty in life, and for me, I am certainly uncertain. I am in Lethbridge, because I know felt that God was asking me to stay here, and it was quite a journey just coming to terms with that. I woke up this morning, amazed that this is where I live -- some days, I really miss home. Some days, I really want to get married. Some days, I want to quit my job and work at the church. Some days, I want to stay in bed. And some days, I am just so absolutely certain that this is where I should be -- something within me believes that this confidence doesn't need to be as shaky as it is.
i have decided something.
i am becoming an artist.
perhaps you thought that i already was one -- perhaps you are right. what i mean, though, is that i am changing the way i think about myself. i will now think, when i get up each day, "I AM AN ARTIST".
not really, but it is something that i will be exploring more. i've realized that i love to paint! it's such a beautiful, satisfying and challenging way to indulge my love of all things visual.
i just finished an 8' x 12' painting for an event that several churches in Lethbridge are taking part in. it's called one body fest and the idea is that if we are the church, the body, the bride of Christ, and there are new students entering our city each year who come from churches...we should be welcoming them! so we're going to try and do that. there's a lot more to it, obviously, and there's a sense of urgency in it, because so many people leave the church and let go of faith in these young adult years.
we want to see that statistic change, not so we can keep butts in pews, but so that we can together discover the truest meaning of the gospel...
again, more to that than i was preparing to type right now.
here is the painting in 3 stages -- i'm thinking that i'll get prints made of it so that ya'll can have a copy of your very own.
perhaps you thought that i already was one -- perhaps you are right. what i mean, though, is that i am changing the way i think about myself. i will now think, when i get up each day, "I AM AN ARTIST".
not really, but it is something that i will be exploring more. i've realized that i love to paint! it's such a beautiful, satisfying and challenging way to indulge my love of all things visual.
i just finished an 8' x 12' painting for an event that several churches in Lethbridge are taking part in. it's called one body fest and the idea is that if we are the church, the body, the bride of Christ, and there are new students entering our city each year who come from churches...we should be welcoming them! so we're going to try and do that. there's a lot more to it, obviously, and there's a sense of urgency in it, because so many people leave the church and let go of faith in these young adult years.
we want to see that statistic change, not so we can keep butts in pews, but so that we can together discover the truest meaning of the gospel...
again, more to that than i was preparing to type right now.
here is the painting in 3 stages -- i'm thinking that i'll get prints made of it so that ya'll can have a copy of your very own.
28.8.08
everybody got hitched.
lynnae + dan
rachel + mike
melinda + vancouver
...
melinda + lethbridge
ok, so i'm not married to a city but i did make it back home safely.
sarah mcmaster is moving here soon, so i'm gonna try and hook her up with some starbucks-style employment.
i, in the meantime, am figuring out some things about life.
like why do I do what I do not want to do? What's up with that? At least I know I am not alone.
this weekend i got to spend a day at keats, in the rain, which was lovely.
got me thinking about marriage when i saw a married friend, whose friendship was so valuable to me when we were both single. i got wondering if his vow to commit to his wife and forsake all others has to do with why he and i aren't really friends anymore.
i also got to see my beautiful friend anna vandas play at an art gallery, located in someone's home! it's stunning, she was stunning...
a lot of stunnn going on.
22.8.08
today.
today i am going to a wedding.
well, 2 wedding receptions.
lynnae + dan are getting married at the Cardston Temple, and then the party begins.
I'm kind of excited.
It's a chilly day here in Lethbridge, so my outfit has been modified so I don't freeze all day.
Should be fun.
well, 2 wedding receptions.
lynnae + dan are getting married at the Cardston Temple, and then the party begins.
I'm kind of excited.
It's a chilly day here in Lethbridge, so my outfit has been modified so I don't freeze all day.
Should be fun.
5.8.08
hello moto...?
i never knew there could be a low calorie cell phone plan. how exciting.
my mom is almost done making me this really pretty green plaid jacket -- it's gonna be amazzzzzzzzzing. you'll love it, i promise.
i went to the beach yesterday and today -- got caught up on all the tanning i missed when it was kinda cold and rainy. phew.
it's almost time to go back to lethbridge -- parting is always bittersweet. if only my 2 worlds could collide...i'd be really happy. REALLY happy. seriously, truly, deeply, madly happy. so...let's see what we can do.
also, that way, i could go swimming in the flowers' pool everyday...and who wouldn't want to go swimming everyday?
this is a little bit random...
here is a picture of me in my new lulu that my mom bought. go mom!!
my mom is almost done making me this really pretty green plaid jacket -- it's gonna be amazzzzzzzzzing. you'll love it, i promise.
i went to the beach yesterday and today -- got caught up on all the tanning i missed when it was kinda cold and rainy. phew.
it's almost time to go back to lethbridge -- parting is always bittersweet. if only my 2 worlds could collide...i'd be really happy. REALLY happy. seriously, truly, deeply, madly happy. so...let's see what we can do.
also, that way, i could go swimming in the flowers' pool everyday...and who wouldn't want to go swimming everyday?
this is a little bit random...
here is a picture of me in my new lulu that my mom bought. go mom!!
10.7.08
facebook has taken me away...
ahhh!!
facebook.com has taken me away from my beloved blog. probably a good thing though...a little less emo and a little more creepin' on long-lost friends' photo albums.
woot.
TONIGHT my beloved young adults' group had a bbq at park lake, just outside lethbridge.
SO GREAT!! A LAKE!! It's a little gross, and kinda smells like cow poo...BUT I could go swimming, and there was more or less a beach, so I was happy.
And we had a fire and s'mores and it was pretty dang epic.
oh, and darrell is home from the philippines.
YEAH!
29.3.08
11.3.08
news.
the good news is...I've been spending less time on the internet, more time interacting face-to-face with the world.
the bad news is...this has meant significantly less blogging for you readers. SO, if you are still here...well done.
My graduation rectial is this Saturday, March 15, @ 4.30pm!! How exciting, I know.
Other than that....I haven't been focussed on much. But, plans are moving forward for living in Lethbridge next year, working a bit with bridges of hope, and just generally embracing the incredible, revolutionary life I've found here.
and now...some pictures of reading week in Vancouver. It should quickly be obvious why I love the colour blue...
the bad news is...this has meant significantly less blogging for you readers. SO, if you are still here...well done.
My graduation rectial is this Saturday, March 15, @ 4.30pm!! How exciting, I know.
Other than that....I haven't been focussed on much. But, plans are moving forward for living in Lethbridge next year, working a bit with bridges of hope, and just generally embracing the incredible, revolutionary life I've found here.
and now...some pictures of reading week in Vancouver. It should quickly be obvious why I love the colour blue...
