sprnany

I...need something. Help?

There's a lot in my head. I need to talk to someone. I guess you'll do.

I hate it when I go to write an email to a friend, and I'm nervous. It takes me forever, because I want it to sound just write. Because I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing, or I make my expectations known...I'll only be let down.

Then again, I called a friend today, left a message...and when he called back, all my fears were put to rest. He's a dear.

I think my period's coming. School's done, and I miss my friends. Running's going well, but tonight I stayed in and ate ice cream and napped and watched tv...and I can't even enjoy it. I feel so guilty. Like I'm letting somebody down, and I'm not being good enough.
I haven't been singing, and I've got an audition on Friday.
I'm afraid to love the people I care about most, because I hate getting hurt. I'm so hit by this fear that...

I don't know. I don't know where this is coming from. It's old stuff. And it's all in my head, just jumbling around.

I miss being in a Bible study, I miss weekly checking in. I miss knowing exactly who to call when tears are welling up, or fears, or sadness...or joy.

So that's me today. :)