happy birthday lovers and friends.

hey.

it's canada day tomorrow.

happy day.

i'll be biking to work.

yep.

and then i'll watch KING KONG in andrew chong's backyard.

i'm looking forward to the day.

and 200 sandwiches. maybe more. 18 salads. 76 naninmo bars, 52 day squares. 24 yogourts. lots of yelling and laughter.

happy canada day.

note of interest.

my posts are recorded in alberta time.

oh, i almost forgot...

at work, we get vegetables from bc hothouses.
they say "hydroponically grown" on the labels.

haha.

no kidding.

the end of tuesday.

i rode my bike.

i got a maaaaaad sunburn. (my skin hates me).

i recorded with andrew and andrew. my harmonies were a little bit wack.

i recorded with zoe and adam. pouring out my soul.

i had the best bubble tea in vancouver, and chinese food that was a rip-off, but so grand.

i wore the wrong shoes.

i figured out why i'm tongue-tied. zoe is wise.

the shoes are outfit shoes, for standing or sitting, not for walking.

seriously.

good day.

lazy tuesday.

last night (monday) i did some on-the-spot recording with chonger, andy and t.hags. i just went to pick up cd's for ben, and they needed some girl vocals -- pretty much, rad.

me.

today...oi. i have errands, and i want to ride my bike, and it's pissing hot out -- i was gonna do pilates too, but i dunno if that'll happen or not. also, i'm record with zoe and adam at 2pm because he scheduled another session in the am.

aiiya, is life hard, or what.

i'm so caught up.

This is not a post about usher.

yeah, yeah, sure, close the browser, surf elsewhere.

I believe that I've been experiencing SOCIAL CULTURE SHOCK.

It's true, it's true, lemme explain. In Lethbridge, I had a few friends. Not just a few close friends, and then a larger network, but just a few friends. These friends are rad, and I enjoyed hours upon wonderful hours in their company, but it made for a fairly uncomplicated social life.

Where am I going to hang out? Oh, @ andrew's with the girls.
Where am I going tonight? Oh, to the girls'.
Where are we going tomorrow? Oh, to mma's, house. Rad.

I knew some other people through school, and we hung out sometimes, and some people through other churches, but I mostly was with my roomies, or "the dames". So like...15 people, let's say, on regular rotation in my social calendar.

FLASH FORWARD TO VANCOUVER -- I'm going crazy. Way overbooking myself, trying to stretch into 5 cities, including Victoria...meanwhile, pretty much ditching my family all the time, because I suck at scheduling hang out time with the people I live with...

Here I've got the North Van crew, Pat in Burnaby (who I still haven't seen), Leah & Nate in E.Van, Darcy who is hard to get hold of, mybestfriends Mikael, Zoe, Jessica, beloved Katrina, asap crew, girls' group on Monday nights, Richmond boys, Tsawassen Jeff (going to anvil), Keats crew (already gone!), Jenny B (going to Europe)...ahhhh!!!!!!! Nevermind random school friends, surprise good friends in Victoria, Dave & Anna briefly here while travelling around the world..Malcolm, who I'm sure still exists in the flesh, but I can't guarantee it..

It's madness, friends, madness.

And in the midst of trying to stretch myself and see everyone, and HAVE QUALITY TIME NOW, I work full time, I'm poor because of gas and VISA, I just want to stay home and read, get up early and rundrinkteareadbible, going to anvil in a couple weeks, harsh need to call my co-counsellor, and our campers...

I need to slow down, but I'm afraid to. Lethbridge return is looming, which is great but deafening and I don't know how much my heart can handle it.

a million little pieces.

here's a piece:

My Mother speaks. As she does, her eyes start to tear.
Thank you, Joanne.
Certainly, Lynne.
My Mother walks around her desk and Joanne stands. They hug each other strong and true in the way that only women can hug each other. There is no hesitation between them and there is no distance. No emotional distance, no physical distance, no distance of any kind.

end.

I get along without you very well?

Of course I don't.

and I don't even know who you are.

Tonight, I played @ a friend's fundraiser/show. It was a great atmosphere, lots of talented people, lots of talented jazz musicians.

May I say that if you want to date a musician, I must recommend a young, talented jazz musician. They are just intrinsically hotter than the rest of us.

Moving on.

I got up to sing/play, and my guitar sounded tinny or something, and the whole sound was too loud, which is always slightly embarassing to hear, and I felt so awkward, and like I'd never performed before...ARGUGHGAGAH!!!

*sighs*

I also spent the day driving like crazy, for reasons unbeknownst even to me, really...chasing after something or someone, not realizing just how crazy I was being.

Anyway, on the way home, I wanted to talk to someone, to be held, to cry, and to feel comforted. To tell the stupidness of previous few hours, and have someone just not judge that, but understand it, and love me, and laugh!!! Because it was so ridiculous. Classic me.

However, no "one" was there, and I drove home alone, tired and carrying the weight of my day, and the knowing that I am moving back to Lethbridge in the fall, when my social network shrinks, and my family is gone, and that makes me hungry and ravenous for all the "time with" and "time doing" I can get...

I am working tomorrow. Or rather, today. Yippeee...sandwiches.



I was talking to Ben (BEN!?) about relationships, and he said something andrew lee said...andrew is excited to be with heidi, not with a girl, or a girlfriend, but with heidi.
Ben said that's how he feels about Ashleigh.

I thought, that makes sense. I don't feel that way about anyone -- or no one in particular. I'm just wanting to be with someone, anyone, and yes I want him to be amazing, but Ben sort of articulated this thought I've been having -- when I date someone (sooN!?), I want it to be like...he supercedes the other crushes I've had or do have...I think he has to be attractive or "it" above them, at least for my heart...

I fall in love too easily...I fall in love too fast.

beautiful self

.

i'm going to victoria today.

i have no confirmed place to stay...

i do have friends to hang out with, but i think they're all about real hospitality, and girls from bcalberta sleeping on their couches is not an option.

c'est un peu bizarre, oui? mais, c'est la vie.

i'll keep you posted.

love

m.

something new.

at church this year, I was prayed for/prophesied over a few times...and the words have stuck in my head.

particularly one about me being created as a wildflower...

still working out what that means. on days like today, I get a glimpse of the picture...and I like it.

what-what.

birthday:



june 3. delayed celebration.

me & a bbq, keeping happy theo ash brett jeff steve chong jon ben neal ash.

steve ben and chong making beautiful music in the basement.

darcy tyler mary jo! emily jonathon. come to hang out.

milkshakes @ denny's with les boys. birthdays bring out the generosity. love it.

near death driving experience with jesse b.

latelatelate night walk with ryan f.


way smaller partaaay than i expected, and some no-shows that were a shocker (zoe playing badminton for 3 hours...not at my house), but pretty much awesome. i will never be a chef for life, but cooking for people i love is great.



ok.

not my computer.

so, hello blogalanders.

i'm at my friend jonathon's house in east van (not earl styles though...little less ghetto).

it's good times -- lots of cyclers, so i haven't told them yet about my *cough* car.

mm. not much else to report. party @ my house tomorrow night in case you didn't already know.

COME OVER.

that's all.

here's a picture:



by: emily. "folkfest".