30.12.04

oops...forgot to throw away the coffee.

I don't know if it is my prairie upbringing, or perhaps my inherent sentimentality, but when fishermen come into my store, order coffee, and then talk amongst themselves about the hardships and joys of life in commercial fishing, I start feeling a little nostalgic.

In other news, some matters of the heart have been settled. The singing boy, who made my knees weak, his heart is held by another. So that's that. Although, he is wonderful...and a good friend.

There's nothing new with bass boy. I haven't seen him for a week or maybe 2...if ever there is something new, I'll post it here for you.

That said...I'm going to go now. And kick myself for not emptying the coffee urns.
AIIYA!

26.12.04

salute.

to the makers of dimetapp-DM and tylenol sinus...my humblest thanks and appreciation.
You have made my Christmas more than bearable.

23.12.04

sayings.

"Faith is the great energy. As long as you have faith, you're willing to try to take another chance. God wants you to amble toward the right spot on the horizon. The idea is that you're willing to get up and keep moving toward that light."
--Billy Corgan

weak in the...blabhablablabahbb.

I went shopping yesterday. Last minute Christmas stuff, you know the drill. While at Sears, I stopped at the perfume counter to try something I saw in a magazine, "Armani Mania". I thought this could be the perfume that would be known as my scent!
Half an hour after putting some on, I was sneezing with the force of a tornado, and all evening I was getting sicker and sicker.
Whoooeeeeeeeeeeeee!
This morning I was awakened by a burning sensation in my throat each time I swallowed.
Ugh.
Sick.
I got up for work, feeling weak and pathetic. I still feel that way. Somehow I made it through my shift, and then a trip to north van.

I'm okay as long as I don't try and stand up or move.

Merry Christmas.

PS...my house smells like gingerbread. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

16.12.04

*breathing*

It's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over.
The semester is over.
Oh my goodness.
I'm going to the gym, and then I'm going to drink tea and have a nap.
I'll worry about work and boys later.
For now I must celebrate because....
it's over, it's over it'soverit'soverit'soverit'sover..


IT'S OVER!!!

thea said "mmmm"

He's too perfect. Perfectly boy. Like shoes and jazz. Sings with me and my knees go weak. And I almost cry. And sometimes, he just knows what I meant to say.

There's a different boy...less perfect, but moreso too. There's more between us. But maybe the committment I was keeping myself to was unecessary?



And maybe I just watch too much romance on tv. YEs...I think that is it.

14.12.04

story.

"Oh friends, I am so tired of weak Christianity. Let us be out and out for Christ; let us give no uncertain sound. If the world wants to call us fools, let them to it. It is only a little while; the crowning day is coming. Thank God for the privilege we have of confessing Christ."

11.12.04

the looooooooooooooooong week...

IS OVER!!!

WOw. The last 7 days have been pure insanity. My skin is on the fritz. My throat is on the fritz. My eyes are on the fritz. I almost had a complete sight-singing meltdown. I don't want to drive to north van ever again (but I will...on sunday).

I'm getting an idea of how I DON'T want my life to be once I have a job and a house and all that stuff.

Shooooooot. Sleepy time. Night-o.

8.12.04

Ludwig. What a name!

"You will ask me whence I take my ideas? That I cannot say with any degree of certainty: they come to me univited, directly or indirectly. I could almost grasp them in my hands, out in Nature's open, in the woods, during my promenades, in the silence of the night, at the earliest dawn. They are roused by moods which in the poet's case are transmuted into words, and in mine into tones, that sound, roar and storm until at last they take shape for me as notes."

-Ludwig van Beethoven


"...there was in those small piercing eyes an expression which no painter could render. It was a feeling of sublimity and melancholy combined."

- Sir Julius Benedict

Die Entfuhrung

Best sentence in my music history textbook (today) : "But with so much of their [composers who aren't Haydn or Mozart] music still inaccessible for listening and study, their inclusion would have multiplied the kind of dry, unresonant name-dropping and selective listing that this paragraph regretfully exemplifies."

Mister's Grout and Palisca, you are forgiven.

2.12.04

they're here! on my face!

No, no, not the vermin of pubescent oil glands....MY GLASSES!!!!

They look good. I was getting a little worried...I couldn't remember what they looked like.
But now I do.

They look good.

Bass-boy said they look good.

Aaaand...my dad said I look like a modern co-ed...

Stay tuned!!

29.11.04

double shred.

we have a paper shredder.
It is sitting here besdide me...a paper shredder.

odd. but cool.

28.11.04

bap. bap. bee bap boo.....bap.

that's me scatting. Yep. scatting.

I went to the optometrist this morning, and did he have news for me! My eyes are a...soft prescription? They're working overtime, going crazy, tenser than a newspaper editor at deadline, run out of ink.

Yep.

That's my eyes.

So I can't get the glasses I need...my eyes will reject them! They will reject the help offered to them; my eyes are ungrateful. BUT...if we start with a mild prescription, we can work up to what I need, thus fooling my eyes into revealing their weakness, accepting help.

THE FUN PART: I went and picked out frames today. They're a dark purple/red, funky modern cat's eye thing....very chic. beeaaaaaam.

If I had a digital camera, I'd post some pictures of me in my new specs when they arrive. Oh wait...I do have a digital camera.

Hmm...

I'll see what I can do.

For now, children, go VOTE for the GREATEST CANADIAN!

22.11.04

weird. wierd? word.

my left eye is twitching.

drove past the coquitlam infamous pig farm...now i feel nauseated.

eeeyuch.

g'nite.



ps 'the incredibles' is hilarious. go see it.

19.11.04

smooooooooth.

When I got home from school this afternoon (YES!!! this AFTERNOON, not NEARLY MIDNIGHT. YAY)..anyway, when I got home I still had an hour to kill before work, so...I indulged in some girly pampering.

Yes...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I shaved my legs.


And now they feel sooooooo good.



WOOT!

(too bad I'm single. Somebody besides me should enjoy this amazing-leg-smoothness).

almost...

ready for bed!
just a few more theory questions...

oh shooot.

um. i was going to blog about something...but oh wait...nothing has happened in my life since i've been living at school.

oh...except...i killed a spider yesterday.

a big one.

white and black and red...striped like a zebra. and it was huge. enormous.

now dead.

um...well. that's really all i had for you kids tonight.

peace out.


call me at christmas time.

17.11.04

C.H.A.D.D.

Cybertronic
Hydronic
Android
Designed for
Dancing


Coolest. Man. Ever.

Dance 360. Lame show..."it's a dance showdown, dawg, yooooo maaaaaaan!"

but this guy...this guy was cool.

15.11.04

hella footnotes.

14 pages, 70 footnotes, and 2,704 words later, my paper is over.

*sighs*

andrew says I'm an english major stuck in a music major's body. I sure hope so. I didn't talk about a single one of Scarlatti's compositions in this paper, just his life. If that gets me an A, it won't be because of anything music major-esque. That'll be english b.s. and writing skills all the way.

to bed now. My alarm will ring in 4 hours and 15 minutes. Golly gee, I love college.

14.11.04

read this, liked it.

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. Darkness is used to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are. You were created for community.

once upon a time. dime..no...time...shoot.

You may not remember this post over HERE, but I sure do.

Read it.

And then come back here.

And I'll tell you that I got 51/52 on it, but she gave me a bonus mark for doing such a good job. Which means that...I got 100% on it!!!!

Hooray for 2 am!

13.11.04

996 done, 1004 to go.

well kids, here's the deal: I'm about halfway through my paper, and it doesn't read like a puddle of mud. Perhaps like a tall, cool class of chlorinated water, but not mud. So...it's not JUST WHAT you always WANTED...but it's good enough.

:D

My brother's girlfriend just called for him. They're talking now.
*sighs*.
I really wanted to call the BOY bass player tonight, but I got all nervous and so I didn't.
*sighs*
Now I have 1004 words left to write about more than half of Alessandro Scarlatti's life.
*sighs*
Oh, woe is me. Boo hoo...boo hoo....boo...aaaaaaaaah whatever. I'll be fine.

The other night I was having a bit of a panic attack, and I started thinking that MAYBE if I could just get injured...crash my car, break my arm, do something requiring stitches...then I wouldn't have to work on the paper. I could get a reasonable extension.

WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!??!!!

That's insane. But sometimes, and I'm sure most of you will relate, the workload gets so piled up and crazy, that it destruction would seem easier than ploughing through it all, non?

Alright bellas and boys, it's back to my paper I go. I'm too good a driver to crash the car, and who would want to wait for 5 hours in a hospital line-up, just to get a few measly stitches, just to get an extension on a paper you could have finished during the hospital line-up, and in the end...there'd be no scar?

ah ha...long and crazy. That's this post.

bye.

12.11.04

puzzles

I've been going to school with the same 30 or so people since last September. Mostly, they're great. It's like family though--sometimes, you just need your space.

Two of the guys are just....more unique than I can explain to you. A couple of hard-working, pot-smoking gong shows, but even that doesn't do them justice.

This year...there's a bunch of new 18-year-old first year girls who are just ga gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for them. They follow these boys around, always talking to them, flirting it up big time.

I just don't understand it, these are not the really hot, or really attractive guys in my program...there aren't very man of those anyway....but I just...it puzzles me.

Hence the title of the post.

Puzzle.

11.11.04

inspiration

my essay will be...a series of letters, written by Alessandro Scarlatti to his son, Domenico Scarlatti, both from the father-to-son angle, and also, from the viewpoint of their relationship as 2 composers.

yes.

that is my plan.

now, if only i could get started...that would be nice.

headlights?

As I descending into Richmond, the fog thickened.

Thick the fog became.

So I drove slowly. And got home safely.

*phew*

7.11.04

blablabhalbalbhbhtghglalbhghalal.

TO ALL THE ONES I KNOW AND LOVE:

Sometimes I am busy, too busy to hang out.
It comes from these assignments
Music, writing, reading Grout.
It is not because I hate you,
or wish to be way.
The reason is quite simple...I need a longer day.

Please do not be downtrodden,
or think that I am lost,
but lift me up in studying,
(or help me pay the cost;)

It's a good thing I am doing, on that we can agree?
To learn the gifts that I've been given
is a priviledged responsibility.
One day I'll sing you opera,
in Italian, German, French.
And as you shed a tear of wonder
you'll know just what I've meant.

For now, dear friends, I need the love
which you so freely give.
Please do extend it to me, though far from me you live
in schools, and offices, and carpools and homes
whose thresholds I may not soon cross.

I need you still
for you make my life
overflow with joy, with laughter.
I cherish very much in my heart
our times of regal chatter.

An essay waits, a song to be learned,
and so, dear ones, I part.
To end this poem I leave you with
my German word of choice.
It means "to go", in the leaving sense,
but in english, it sounds a gas.

So here it is! Fahrt! away!
now, now I must go.
To Jo, I say "in the morning, friend",
to the rest of you
I sing...

so long.

6.11.04

new?

does my blog appear on your screen in a bigger, rounder font that it used to?

no? then i guess my computer's just crazy (very possible).

yes? then my blog changed its own template (creepy).

BASS bass bass bass BASS bass bass bass...

over pie (the math symbol) and muffins (the food) and coffee drinks and bed-chillaxin' conversation the friendship is happening. and maybe more.

it's really good.

i'll keep you posted.

literally.

2.11.04

ode

o
i am full of
potato-leek soup.

so full of warm
warm soup.

happy with the taste
the feel
the warmth
of my soup.

o
i am full of
potato-leek soup.

29.10.04

i'm sailing away...

I'll be @ keats for the weekend.

So if you need me, call me...and I'll be back on sunday.

yes....a weekend on a rainy island with the wildings, dave ward, my asap mates....and a whole lot of Baroque era music in my ears.

Ah ha. Ha Ha.

Ich-laut!

28.10.04

retro thursday.

2 years ago today....

I worked at Mitchell YMCA.

I napped.

I went with Nicole to see Dashboard Confessional in Seattle.

I drooled over Chris Carabba's guitar player. Johnny.

I nearly fell asleep driving home.

I raked fallen leaves.

Mikael and Jessica came over
(2 years ago tomorrow). I think they told me that I deserved better than the boy I liked at the time. (I think they were right. I hope they like the new one when they meet him).

Huh. 2 years ago seems like far away.

I'll symphonie your fantastique.

WELL WELL WELL.

I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL NOW!

AIIIIIYA.

I WISH THAT I HAD NO MORALS (okay, not really) BECAUSE THEN I COULD BUY MY TERMS PAPERS OFF THE INTERNET AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WRITE THEM.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah right.

26.10.04

world without hunger

We shall see if html talk works in the title line.

I've got a new mix CD care of JO! to listen to in the car tomorrow.

WOOTED.

Also...a date. Heh. Well..maybe not a date. But we're definitely hanging out tomorrow night which means I have to get hella homework done all day. *sighs*.

I'll keep all ya'll posted.

Oh yes. Hejira @ the Railway club tomorrow @ 9.30pm. $8. Go. Go. GO and dance.
Or kiss a frog.

;)

24.10.04

am I cool!?!

APPARENTLY....I did something cool, but I don't know what it was!!!


Ooh and...shout out to Leigh. You're my best opposite EVER.

ready for bed. now.

I'm so scared of being alone
that I forget which house I live in
and it's not my job to wait by the phone
for him to call.

just a little caedmon's call there for you kids. Yep.

Well. Apparently you're only REALLY COOL now if you have 2 pairs of glasses! Seriously folks...it's the only truly well-accessorised way to go.
I mean....what would you ever do if you were trying to be elegant, but your glasses were TOTALLY caj? Aiiiyyyeee. Thank goodness for excess.

and Chef Boyardee.

23.10.04

sancta maria!

Well, well, well. After a morning full of latin (and the after effects of much curry goodness) I am home again, if only for a titch, before I rush off to the world of ice cream and Tim's birthday.

Like I said, my life is CRAZY.

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I lost my scarf. Long, striped, BRIGHTLY coloured...save it if you can. I miss the darn thing.

i have love for you

New music came in the mail today.
The weight of the charges on my visa card come to rest upon my shoulders and my bank account.

ah ha ha ha...

but at least the music will be good.

21.10.04

best day ever

Life can be a little bit messy sometimes, like my desk. A MESS! But once in a while a day comes along that is just perfect.
Like today, for example.
Breakfast with Jenny B, which was so sweet. Then as I got ready to go to school, Shannon called...it was going to be impossible to get into North Van, so we went for a 2 hour walk & talk in English Bay!
Then I bought pants and came home.

That doesn't really express the goodness of the day though. It was sweet, and crisp, and bright, and everything excellent about fall. I think I appreciated it more because I'm so busy most of the time. The occasion to just enjoy a day and time with a good friend is so rare, and when it came...hallelujah!

Well. The goodness now extends into an evening of reading. wooted. No Wonder Years for me after all.
Maybe it's all for the best.

20.10.04

if cell phones give you cancer...should this be in my pocket?

hey.
i'm eating a buster bar (from dairy queen).

so good.

the only problem thus far with even liking a BOY bass player in the jazz program is....i never see him! it's almost impossible. our classes conflict like pea coat with a mud puddle. so...i just end up feeling anxious all day.
what a waste of time.

no more anxiousness.










there. that was...easy.

not wearing pants.

I was driving home from north van tonight, when I passed a rather upsetting church sign.
it read: there is no second chance to make a good first impression.

true enough, but herein lies the upset...
The church is meant to be a place of GRACE. A place where you are accepted, loved, forgiven before you ask for it. A place to know that there is nothing you can do to change that God absolutely adores you, warts and all.
Yet, here is this church, broadcasting UNgrace. Screw this up, and you're done for. There's no trying again. So you'd better get it right the first time.

devastating.


Maybe it was just a catchy phrase to put upon the sign, but that almost worsens the insult. If a church is just another place for everyday cliches and maxims, why bother?
There is so much more that needs to be made known than the propensity for failure.

19.10.04

on my...er...mind.

there's a bass player @ school who i like maybe more than i should during midterm time.

a boy bass player, to clarify.

i just don't know. my heart's all a flutter.
and my words are all jumbled up.

he loves me, he loves me...not?

17.10.04

hello.

Hi. My name is Melinda. I'm Abba's daughter, and He loves me.

HE LOVES ME!!!!




how was your weekend?

15.10.04

weekend of...peace.

this is sweet relief

i'll be listening to Brennan Manning in Victoria this weekend. A very exciting prospect.
i hope yours goes well too.

God bless.

m.

14.10.04

party of huh!?

Do you remember Charlie from party of five?
He was the eldest brother of 5 orphaned children. Strong, good-looking, silent. Just trying to do his best to keep them together, usually screwing up along the way, but in a very...loving way. Very cliche, very tv...it was a great series.

Tonight, I was watching tv (after my post-school-skip-small-group-hour-nap), and I came upon Pippin..or Merry...one of the hobbits! He's on a show about a plane wreck's survivors..."lost". ANYWAY....there was a man on the show, looked very familiar (blue eyes that go pop!), and I couldn't place him. Then I pictured him with a mid-90's style mullet...and it was....CHARLIE!!!

HE's back!

woot.

13.10.04

Hygelac? Hrothgar? Heremod?

i'm almost done my essay.
almost...done..my...essay.

almosy...don...e....my...ess......a...y.

might go hear brennan manning speak in Victoria on the weekend.
sweet action!

12.10.04

oh no. don't start that again.

"thanksgiving weekend. i'll bring all my books home and get lots of work done. i'll write my essay, and learn my pmi songs, and read all my history textbook material. then, i'll bake a turkey, and a pie, and join a bible study, and do all the errands i've had on my mind for weeks. it'll be so great and relaxing (in the end)."

*ahem*

i am slowly going crazy, 1-2-3-4-5-6, switch!
crazy going slowly am i 6-5-4-3-2-1, switch!

i am...crazy going slowly 645321 swatch
slowly crazy am i going 453261 swutch...




help.

10.10.04

turkey gobble gobble

hey ya'll.
happy turkey feats!
yes feats. how is it possible for one person to eat so much food!?

but feasts as well.

i gotta go eat my cousins...i mean, eat pie WITH them.


heh.

bye.

turkey gobble gobble

hey ya'll.
happy turkey feats!
yes feats. how is it possible for one person to eat so much food!?

but feasts as well.

i gotta go eat my cousins...i mean, eat pie WITH them.


heh.

bye.

9.10.04

tea for two, but three...for..tea..

just enough tea to go around.

i've been groovin' to the sounds of 'sunday mornin' by maroon5.

makes me happy.

i have to write a paper this weekend. and i must remember that i have a huge term paper due (i almost wrote dew there) in a few weeks. Alessandro Scarlatti. i think i will write it autobiographically (that's allowed), as if i were working with a librettist (opera story writer), writing an opera about my own life. could be excellent. gives me a chance to talk about his work, the time he lived in, people he interacted with....how life correlates with music...

ahhh.

if only i can remember to do it.

7.10.04

appogiatura?

just going to bed now.

2-freakin'-am.

wow.

at least my theory homework is done.

4-3 sustained anticipation.

yeaaaaaaaaaaaah right.

6.10.04

i'm so loved.

tonight @ asap, we talked about adoption. not just earthly adoption, but also the fact that God's adopted us, become our Father. Abba, Daddy.

what struck me is this...adoption is more than birth parents not wanting or being able to keep their child. it is also the desire and the longing of the adoptive parents to have a child. the "unwanted" or "unexpected" child is longed for before it is even born.

5.10.04

from the depths of the hallway of toxic mold, monster bugs, and dust...I write to you.

I left my house late this morning..maybe @ 7.55am. I knew I'd be late for school, but figured that I'd be there by about 8.40am, no big loss.

Half an hour later, when I was sitting in my car, stagnant and frustrated on an on-ramp, I thought how silly that assumption had been.

Twenty minutes later, coming off of that ramp, I was pissed off.

Ten minutes later, when somebody honked at me as I turned right, INTO THE SPACE he'd indicated he was leaving for me, I swore audibly.

Twenty minutes later when I got to school...I beat up my locker.

2.10.04

cell phone rings again.

AHHHHHHHH!!!
SO MUCH TO DO!!!

LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN knowitall for the midterm LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN LEARN

learning to be less awkward

Tonight I went to a friend's engagement party. WOOT! I was excited to go, to be invited, but also very nervous. The same nervousness that grabs you when you walk into the cafeteria in high school, looking for a place to sit. Most of the reason why I never ate in my cafeteria. And why I still don't.

...


I was nervous tonight, and so to avoid going I had a shower, shaved my legs (so smooth!), I ate dinner slowly...then finally, it was time. I had to get in my car and go. Unsure as to where in the city the address was, I went out of my way to find out, eventually navigating my way to the house.
I walked up the front walk, the stairs, all decorated with tealights, shimmering so beautifully in the darkness. The first face I saw was my friend's (such a comfort!!), and he invited me in. As I scanned the crowd for familiar faces, I found none.

Not a one.

All my mutual friends had copped out...well, all but 1 as the evening would prove.
*sighs*
So, I set about the task of meeting new people! *shiver*.

It worked! 3 or 4 really solid, conversations! I stayed 2 hours later than I thought, without the usual temptation of "oh, my friends are here".

Wow.

Either I looked really hot tonight, or I'm getting way better at socialising.

1.10.04

ugh.

the week is nearly done.
homework's just begun
to pile upon my weary head
still filled with pains of headache--oh dread
i the night
for if i cannot sleep
aching restlessness will carry me
to dreams of wandering sheep.

30.9.04

Trackabackashackamackawhackaklackajackablacka

TrackBack Explanation
By Mena and Ben Trott

A Beginner's Guide to TrackBack

What Is TrackBack?
In a nutshell, TrackBack was designed to provide a method of notification between websites: it is a method of person A saying to person B, "This is something you may be interested in." To do that, person A sends a TrackBack ping to person B.

TrackBack ping: a ping in this context means a small message sent from one webserver to another.

And why would person B be interested in what person A has to say?

*Person A has written a post on his own weblog that comments on a post in Person B's weblog. This is a form of remote comments--rather than posting the comment directly on Person B's weblog, Person A posts it on his own weblog, then sends a TrackBack ping to notify Person B.

*Person A has written a post on a topic that a group of people are interested in. This is a form of content aggregation--by sending a TrackBack ping to a central server, visitors can read all posts about that topic. For example, imagine a site which collects weblog posts about Justin Timberlake. Anyone interested in reading about JT could look at this site to keep updated on what other webloggers were saying about his new album, a photo shoot in a magazine, etc.


History

TrackBack was first released as an open specification in August 2002. It was released as both a protocol and as a feature of Movable Type 2.2, which contained the first implementation of TrackBack. Since the true value of TrackBack only comes when many sites support it, TrackBack was always planned as an open system: a system that could be easily implemented in other weblogging tools.

little old chinese men say....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh so! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

29.9.04

stones taught me to fly.

The headlines read: COLLEGE STUDENT ENTERS SUDDEN VEGETATIVE STATE!!!

Today, a 22-year-old college dropped to the floor, in a heap of unintelligible ramblings. It is believed that she was fed, or somehow otherwise ingested a toxic substance, causing her to lose all intellectual function. Classmates say that she has not yet returned to normal, though some of her speech functions have returned. When asked what happened, the student grimaced, and replied, "I forgot to bring an extra dose of sudafed to school with me."
Yes, another tragic incident of...sudden mucus-flooded-sinuses.

The moral of the story: always have the drugs you need on hand.

28.9.04

suds

Dooooooooooooooooes anybody want to...record onto VHS some soaps (as in daytime television dramas) for me tomorrow morning, scan for an infidelity/deceit storyline, and then bring the tape to me @ school, in time for my 4.30pm english presentation?

Yes!!!

Oh..no...okay...well...thanks then.

dusty hallways and cold, early mornings.

my voice is like this, "snap, crackle, pop.....fizzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

voice major? ha ha ha.

26.9.04

cross-eyed

I've been reading "canterbury tales" for english class....the middle english speeling is maekening me crossenyeed.

25.9.04

if God had a name...

something else i borrowed from julie's blog.
she's a keeper.
as is don miller.

here:
'what if we accept homosexuals into the church.
what will happen??
people's live will get changed! thats what will happen.
they'll hear jesus and god will speak to their hearts..
if he doesn't want 'em to be gay then the holy spirit can handle that.
but for some reason we've made that our battle, our fight
like its up to us?!
thats not what god's called us to do!
god calls us to love people.'

24.9.04

fritz on the schnitz, it's a blitz.

minty supper!

The CRAZY vending machine at school (aka the fiddy-cent machine), has been on the FRITZ!!!

On Thursday morning, t*rex put in $2, got her chocolate, and $3.50 in change!!! That's a profit of $2!!!
THEN...the machine ATE my dollar!!! With no merchandise received.

It went on like that all day.

Poor thing's crackin' up. And it empties faster than...*snap*.

23.9.04

me and Pachelbel like...oats and honey?

I'm writing variations! I'm writing variations!

22.9.04

something beautiful

the green caught my eyes.

enjoy. (love)
Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

i wish i was six again.

who are you?


I tend to divide my day into chunks of time. 15 mins for this, 30 for that, 1 hour for this, etc...
Rarely do I factor in 1) traffic/transit, 2) drowsiness, 3) conversation, 4) the time/space continuum [sp?], or 5) the need to chill.

heh. I wonder if I might need a personal manager/chauffeur....
interested?

20.9.04

uh....

LESS TALK, MORE BACH!!!

18.9.04

the phone rrrrrangeth not.

it's nice to have friends who just hang out for the sake of good company....and maybe ice cream.

17.9.04

even reading glasses can't help me now.

Here I am, all ready to study.

BANG CRASH SLAM WHAM DU NA NA NA NA NA NA NA PFFFFFFFT!!!

A tragic accident of sorts? No no. Just my dear brother and his friends playing FREAKIN' ROCK AND ROLL just a few thin walls away.

*sighs* Move over, Monteverdi. Rock n' roll is here to stay.

i wish i was six again.

band of many words...

I saw Theo today!!! He was riding in a fast little car that flew by me.

My heart delighted!!!

And then...I went to choir. And sang a high 'A'.

note: 2nd floor of my building...vending machine...prices are ALL set to 50 cents. It's sooo cool.

16.9.04

one last thought...

My sister schools/works @ twu, and she's studying a book by Don Miller with her boss/co-workers right now.
This is something Don Miller said, and julie of the edge posted it on her blog. It is over.... that way.

Here is the quotation:
"When we talk about relationships with people, we use phrases like "invest in people," "this person is priceless," or "this relationship is bankrupt." By using economic metaphor we've begun to think of love like money. There is this sense that we can't love homosexuals because that's endorsing them. So, we spout little cliches like "hate the sin, but love the sinner" but we don't actually do that. We sort of isolate ourselves from the world because we fear them, we don't understand them. I think the root of that problem is the fact that we treat love like money. We exist in this social economy where we use affection as dollars."

"...One of those issues is homosexuality. Conservatives will say, you shouldn't embrace these people or accept them in our community or let them be in leadership positions because it's a sin, and they're all pissed off. Certainly it's a sin; it's something that God probably wants to deal with people about. But homosexuality is not a sin any more than, say, gluttony is a sin. And that means we love them, we keep them in our community. If they repent about it and want to try to change, that's great. If they don't I'm not going to kick them out of our community. When science says people are born homosexuals, I would say absolutely people are born homosexuals. Satan is an unfair guy, he rules this world."
-donmillerinterview

It's opening up my world...

13.9.04

paradox?

it's like this...I'm SOO tired, and I just have a little bit of work left to do, but I'm too tired to do it. So I just keep staying awake, being more tired, and getting no work done, until I get my second wind, do the work, and then can't fall asleep. Aiiya, I tell you. AIiya.

12.9.04

what is it with messy hair and fame!?

My brother spent the summer at camp, and *wobbly voice* damn, he's fine!
His hair is longish, and it's this gorgeous sun-bronzed mix of brown, red, and blonde.
My hair usually looks that way too, but the lighting @ the ice house just hasn't yet duplicated the effect of the sun. Nope. Not at all. Hence, I'm pasty, and without my usual array of exciting natural (but actually natural) highlights.

My olde deckhand director walked by the store tonight, so we chatted it up for about 10 minutes. Her name's Lindsay (maybe Lindsey), and she's HILARIOUS. Or rather, together, we make much laughter and joking.
I haven't had a good laugh in sooo long. It was great.

"I could buy you a drink, I could tell you all about it, I could tell you why I doubt it, and why I still believe it..."
--pedro

Ben wants the computer. And so I go. Gotta line up early early *ugh* early tomorrow morning. Why!? So I can get a locker.

Yes yes. Higher education = line-ups. But intelligent ones.

onelove.

11.9.04

"o"

I purchased Damien Rice's "o" tonight. He's listed as "Rich, Damien O" @ Future Shop, so I thought, "OH NO!!! THEY WON'T HAVE IT!!!", because it would have been ordered under the wrong name. But then I turned around, and *bing* there it was!!!! ON the wrong shelf, but there just the sam.e
Now it is HERE, and I have been listening to it.

Mmmm...

I was lying in bed, listening to damien, and reading Beowulf (thinking about soon brushing my teet to aid in sleeping), when I heard a KNOCKING, possibly at the window. Also possibly from my brother's room...he's crazy...witht the knocking...
it FREAKED me out!! Roger thought maybe it was Grendel (Beowulf's monster)...that didn't help.

Fear not! That's what I gotta say to myself when I go to bed.

Fear not, Melinda, the Lord is with you, He does and will protect you. Amen.

HEh...well, off to toothpaste and electric bristles.

one...song.

8.9.04

oooooooh hungry

I AM SO HUNGRY!!!

BUt it's 10.09PM. I'm just going to go to bed, and eat an omlette in the morning.
OH MAAAN...maybe it's just a thirsty thing. I'll drink a litre of water or something.

So HUNGRY!!!

ANother thing: I'm exhausted! I don't think I'll be able to pull off anything later than 10pm this year. Seriously....I'm craving the sleep time.

7.9.04

bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils

The first day of school is over!!!
What a day it has been. Early to rise....late for piano...but it's like I never even left.
I've got homework and practicing to do, so I should get home and do it all before I fall asleep. This whole "working on the weekends" thing leaves much less time for procrastinating.
I hope you are all well.
I thought of something rather inspiring today. My theory teacher is SO different from the one I had last year. She's a small woman, long, dark hair, and very explosive and full of energy. Last year was a tall, blonde man, very reserved, very calculated. Both geniuses, but expresed in different ways.
Her class and way of teaching can to do things...FReAK me out, or challenge me to see the world, and to hear and write music, in a new way.

Exciting.

Truth be told...i really like school.
and Damien Rice. I must go CD shopping soon.

onelove.

new beginning

As we head into another season of school and such,
Let us come before the Lord and proclaim our thanks.


My friend Brian had some solid words and pictures for me tonight. God spoke richly. I'm praying to receive what He said, and for peace. Go in the confidence that God is with you, He is your strength, and your peace.

onelove.

4.9.04

awesome. in that God has done it.

Let us listen for the Lord’s voice, so that we can reach his place of rest.


Interesting to think about that...what would it be about hearing God's voice that would bring us to a place of rest?

Tonight was party party @ harwood's house...hooray for jo and katy being 20. I had a drop of red wine, and Ash shook my hand.

Mikael is well also, not just "not unwell"...

I was reminded tonight of what an excellent thing good friends are. Warm and fuzzy, slightly buzzed and dancing...they bring me so much joy. Like post-miracle water.

onelove. (props to aaron for that)

3.9.04

this too...

The Lord is our delight: come, bless his name.

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Today has been an important day.
I spent time with Pat, which was excellent and enlightening. I listened to Chuck Swindoll talk about grace. I thought about this:
To let go is to fear less, and love more.

How appropriate, as it turns out. You see, my best mate, Mikael, she calls me. She has big news. But somebody else might want to wait for her to tell me. She wants to see my face. Dun dun daaa...I'm freaking out, guessing at it in my head, but not knowing...ahh!! It's all too much. Then...she tells me!

See, there's this guy...he's pretty great...she's thinking of keeping him around for a while....

YEAH! She has a boyfriend! And is a girlfriend! So sweet on SOOO many levels.

And so weird.

I'll tell you his name later, after you know. Heh.

It's strangely timed though, because earlier today, Pat and I talked a lot about relationships, and what if God's plan for us is to be single 'til we're 40, or 'til we die...scary for a 22/23 year old girl to think of, but also exciting. What a challenging life of intimacy with God that would be. Just thinking about it gives me chills. WOw. Also a lonely thought, but not so much. I've got a lot of love in my life, but when I feel absolutely complete is when I worship, or pray, or just know that I am uninhibitedly in my Father's presence. Mmhmmm.

We'll see. What I can do now, is let go of my own hopes, dreams, wants, needs...outside of Christ, and what he can provide, what do I need?

Not sex, no! Not a one night stand, just a walk by the water when I'm holding your hand...(5 points for the reference)

That's the kind of Thursday it's been. Now, 4 straight days of work, leading into 4 straight months of school. See you @ the Christmas parties.

Carry each other,
melinda.of.love

2.9.04

Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again, I say, Rejoice.

Interesting conversation with the manager @ work today. Ended with her being like, "I can't handle this conversation right now, I have to go!"
We were talking about religion, and whether or not truth and salvation can be relative. ie, Jesus is the right decision for me, but buddha is the right decision for someone else.
So, she ends it by walking out the door going, "If someone decides not to believe in Jesus, then they've made the right decision for their life."

Now...there's not much I can do to reply to that. Especially when the speaker is gone. But, I did continue to think about it, and came to the conclusion that relative truth is such a huge crock. It's not hard to find a situation where it all falls apart. Slavery. Rape. Murder. War, with all its complexities. Theft. Even religions which require the submission of women, by force when necessary, are enough to raise the fists of any laid back believer in relativity. How about child molestation? Destroying the life of a child is okay, because the perpetrator feels like it was the right thing to do?

I know those things are different from religious beliefs, but just hold on. It's all very trendy to be into yoga and new-age stuff over here, but have you ever seen a country, a people, or just a person who is completely under the opression of evil? All of a sudden, the worship of which/whatever god/goddess strikes your fancy just isn't cool anymore.

Argh.

So much discussion pent up in my chest right now. And it bothers me when discussions turn to challenges, which I suppose isn't all that different from what I've just written. "Well, what about this!? Huh!? Don't you think this? and this? and this?..."
It's also in the attitude though.

Hmm.

I guess the other thing is this: don't assume that just because I'm a christian that I suddenly have all the answers. Truth be told...I don't.

onelove.

30.8.04

not sure if this can suffice.

I just watched "the Pianist" with Pernille.

It's got me thinking about a lot of things, so I won't write for long. It's about a pianist, a jew, who survived the war in Poland, and was able to work again as a musician after the war.

I guess I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now, by the devastation of that war. The horrors, which I've only seen depicted in films, the things people saw and did and experienced.

My mum has a good friend whose father was forced to join the Hitler youth, although he remained a christian, just not openly. He still has nightmares about the war, and is 70 years old.

I just can't imagine.

Good night. God bless you.

29.8.04

slicing tomatoes. (that's the title, but my titles don't get displayed).

"happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without spilling a few drops on yourself."
--the return of the good, clean jokes, Bob Phillips.

what is a word in the english dictionary, which contains 3 consecutive pairs of letters?

clue # 1: it is a compound word, made up of 10 letters.
clue # 2: two of the pairs are vowels.
clue # 3: the word is an occupation.

more to come.

saturday night, dancing, like the way you move.

Remember that song "Saturday Night"?
I don't recall who sang it...some blonde girl. It was cool when I was in about grade 7, and I know that most of her songs sounded the same.

Saturday night, dancing, like the way you move.
Pretty baby.
It's party time, and not one minute we can lose.
*something* baby..

saturday...saturday.

I went to Worship Invasion tonight, with my danish delight, Pernille. I also saw ANNA!!!!! and, briefly, her husband dave. Hmm...some awesome ladies prayed for me, and I reconnected with some new friends...

Excellent things are happening, my friends. Do all that you can to get in the path of the storm that is the power of God. Get picked up in it. Enjoy the time inside of the storm, and then be able to come back down, and work the fallowed ground.

one love.

25.8.04

strength to get me through the night. and following days.

O God, come to my aid.
O Lord, make haste to help me.
Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen. Alleluia.

24.8.04

do do do

i'm redecorating my room.
or rather, rearranging it.
yep.
pretty stoked for that.

22.8.04

i won't lie. it's devastating.

at least for the moment, my heart is broken.

Pernille--dts housemate, adopted sister, visiting from Denmark--was to stay with me this coming weekend. Tonight, I went out to where she's staying to visit with her. I found out that another friend, whose absence from the city brought me the honour of Pernille as my guest, has planned to take Pernille away with her.

I am so close to tears, I can't even explain it.

I was so afraid that this would happen. The disappointment and rejection of it is almost too much to take.

goodnight.

20.8.04

today.

O Lord, open my lips.
And my mouth will proclaim your praise.

19.8.04

contests

I noticed, while eating my second breakfast this morning, that cereal box contests usually stipulate "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY". You can send in for the rules, or just read them off the box while perusing the supermarket aisles. I think that is the case for most food contests. You can enter without purchasing the product. (In this morning's situation, it was a chance to design the "Life" cereal box. Yumm.)

I thought this over while masticating my early morning meal, and soon realized that there is one food contest promoter who always stipulates the necessity of purchase: BEER! You can't enter beer-brand/company sponsored contests without purchasing.

Lame.

(But wise. Their prizes are usually pretty cool, so it makes sense to draw in the bling while holding a contest).

contests

I noticed, while eating my second breakfast this morning, that cereal box contests usually stipulate "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY". You can send in for the rules, or just read them off the box while perusing the supermarket aisles. I think that is the case for most food contests. You can enter without purchasing the product. (In this morning's situation, it was a chance to design the "Life" cereal box. Yumm.)

I thought this over while masticating my early morning meal, and soon realized that there is one food contest promoter who always stipulates the necessity of purchase: BEER! You can't enter beer-brand/company sponsored contests without purchasing.

Lame.

(But wise. Their prizes are usually pretty cool, so it makes sense to draw in the bling while holding a contest).

18.8.04

changes

daily focus...find it here.
I picked up the South Beach diet book today. Pretty stoked about it.

It's been a year of changes for me. Not just change as in new car, new job, new whatever, but changes in how I see myself, and how I address issues in my life with confidence. I can acknowledge that I need to lose weight, and be more active, without allowing that to depress me, and define who I am.

Neat, eh?

14.8.04

again.

Daphne says that such ans such was for Frasier's father. Frasier replies (in a derogatory manner),

"So are games with balls, domestic beer, and big trucks that run over littler ones."

Hah ahahaahah ah haaaaaaaaa!!!

I don't know what it is about those Crane boys, but they crack me RIGHT up!

12.8.04

phew

just checking.

11.8.04

wha happan?

I'm BAAAAAAACK!

I don't know why, or for how long, but I have been able to sign back in. Oooh, there have been so many blog-worthy moments in the last few days--who knows if I can remember any of them.

I've just enjoyed a family dinner--grandparents and all--to celebrate our collective unbirthdays. It's a cool way to celebrate birthdays together, even though we aren't able to get together 8 times a year. As part of our gift, Joanne and Dan (my grandparents) gave us each a piece of their house, or our great-grandma's house--things like crystals that hung in the windows, or to me, a tiny water colour painting. And then, as if that weren't honour enough, we each received an ancient Greek coin, from the collection of Joanne's best friend, Joyce, who passed away recently.
Yeah. Wow.

What else can I tell you? Not much I suppose. Except that, I am so thankful for my friends. Honestly, I sometimes can't believe just how many incredible people I know. And that they care for me? ... just astonishing.

I'm feeling kind of sad today, so if you're in the neighbourhood of my house or my ice cream store, stop in for a hug or 2. Nothing cures the blues like some lovin'.

one love.

7.8.04

c-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.

yoyo yo...
I'm back.
I went to imr tonight, thinking I could be out late, because I wasn't working 'til 1pm tomorrow. Turns out I'm working @ 10am, so I'm going to bed now.
Keats was awesome. Or maybe not awesome...I heard a blurb on the radio the other day, talking about awesome being used in reference to all that God is...so to be cautious with how we use it mundanely. But it was a very God-soaked 2 days, so I'll call it awesome.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, PRAISE the Lord.

Amen.

And gooooooood night.

ps I have the scars of a barnacle skirmish all over my hands and fingers, knees and toes. ouch.

4.8.04

away away away.

i am going away. away to a place where for two days i will be blissfully unable to spend my money.

yes. i am going to keats.

see you later.

...we have (still) a great need for a saviour, and a great saviour for our need...
--derek webb


2.8.04

waiting

well well well...I'm not wearing my glasses, and the screen is a wee bit blurry.
Hang on...there, that's better.

*phew*

Not much to report, really. (A quick note: the "shing, sparkle, sparkle" bit is something I got from spongebob squarepants. It's in an episode where plankton is trying to get the recipe for crab cakes, and he gives s.b.s.p. a golden spatula...and makes the noise "shing, sparkle, sparkle" when he hands it to the unsuspecting sponge).

That's all about that.

Now...onto more important things...such as...

MIKAEL is home! Woot, woot!

Pete is moving to north van. *sigh, tear*

Ummm...I have a show on Friday @ work, and one in January...which will bring in some little blings...

I sold 2 copies of my album today...

I'm going to cry, I think. Sometimes, not seeing my friends is unfortunate, but even moreso is seeing them when they've all been together for a few days...and hence...don't need...me.

Yeah.

Pity party. My house. Now.

1.8.04

diva 101 continues...

hi y'all.
opera camp is over. *sighs*. no more diva training...for now.
the results of this week:
my voice is BiggER.
my confidence is More...
Judith Forst told me i sang well.
some new friends and a sunburn from reading in the rose garden.
a tired voice and tired abs and an overflowing of joy and song.
i want to go to ubc.

good nite.

*sparkle, sparkle*

29.7.04

brush with fame! brush with fame!

I was flushing the water fountain @ ubc, before filling my water bottle, when I saw it....
the sign on the locker read:

VACATED!!
name: Alana Worsley

SHIIIIINNNNGGGG! *sparkle, sparkle*

27.7.04

and matthew says...

"well hey when those saplings push through the ground it's so exciting."

carpe diem.  ich liebe es.

diva 101

To her he says, "Part of diva 101 is learning to fill the space with your sound."
 
To me he says, "Developing a voice is like a [potted] plant.  It's something you grow, not build.  I get the impression that your voice is a sapling."
 
That sort of direction is all at once sweet and crushing in its honesty.

26.7.04

i spend too much money.

thoughts:

pretty girls don't always have pretty lives.

my boss came into the store the other day and said, "geez, it's hotter n' the edge a' hell in here!".  (brilliant!)

and lastly....there is NO SHAME in singing loud and long in italian, french, english, czech or german.  so that is what i shall do.

and lastly...i might get a new car stereo.  woot woot waaaaah.

21.7.04

a beautiful letdown

We can't write people off just because they don't "know" Christ.  It is often those who haven't been taught how to think about God who think, speak, feel and live him the most profoundly.  At times, it is the burden of theology, exegeting and hermeneuting, which keeps us from true intimacy, and simple truths.
We can say that God works in mysterious ways, as long as those ways don't include too much wine and cigarettes, dirt and skateshops, mess and ugliness.  There is richness in a life lived in the chaos of grace, and a wealth in amongst the potholes of a difficult road.  That's where the view is the best--when you come to the right spot in a valley, where you can see the sunrise, and realize that your eyes may be the first to see this part of evaporating night.
Maybe there is more redemption in a sunrise than in seeing eyes.
We take too much credit for building and deciphering this mystery.  Really, it is the truth being revealed to us, little by little.  Through a tattoo, or a spoken word, a prophet or a manic street preacher, a parmedic or a concrete pourer--he can speak and appear anywhere, in and through anyone.  For his purposes cannot be cut off, or his voice and power silenced.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there IS freedom.  Relax and be relieved that you don't have to worry about where that is.

19.7.04

could we start again, please?

Jesus Christ Superstar is a great, great, great musical, and Norman Jewison did it much justice on film.
 
Mmmhmm.  I went to a church service called "mosaic" last night, and I missed most of it.  At the end a woman got up and shared a bit of what God's been doing in her life, and read to us a little poetic thing she'd written the day before.  The part that I remember the most is this :
 
My breathing is multiplied.
My thinking, personified...
 
Reflecting on how God's changed her being, her life, every aspect of it.  It was really beautiful, and when it came to trying to remember the whole thing, that was about all I could store in my mind.
 
Jessica is alive and well.  Just thought you'd like to know.
 
peace.

18.7.04

nickname

'melinda the great' came about when I put some clothes on hold at the store where a friend worked.  She tagged them as reserved for "melinda the great", and I rather liked it, so I passed it on to others, and it stuck.  Sort of.  For a while I got emails to "melinda the great, of Richmond".  Anyway...my locker mate this year was Teresea the Great.  Or t*rex.  And I'm m*rock.
 
Apparently I have an arch-nemesis.  Or not really.  But that's what she told my friend James.  It's this girl, who has a blog.  Makes me feel a little...winded, because I think she seems amazing, and it sucks when wonderful people don't really like you.  Or decide that you're to be enemies.
 
Watched "Lost in Translation" with James tonight.  He's a good friend just to be with.

15.7.04

ah ha

didn't nap at all today. got up @ 10am, and just kept on truckin'. went to curves, almost didn't make it...but i feel all the stronger for it.

lots of jenny lovin', she's back from australia today.

woot woot.

bought some accessories and REALLY COOL birthday presents for friends with birthdays coming soon.

yes.

without the nap, i'm famished and exhausted. and so i go to rememdy those now. ta.

14.7.04

returned at last.

Some things to be posted:

"The echo of her laughter is the second sunrise I awaken to each day, and at night I feel it is more than stars looking down on me."
-- Jerry Spinelli, Stargirl

Devastating.

Secondly, I'm reading the chronicles of Narnia. I believe I am on book 5, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, with The Silver Chair and The Last Battle yet to come. Today I read a deliciously poignant piece of the book. I shall share it with you hence:

(A character Eustace has been turned into a dragon...)

"...Just as I was going to put my feet into the water, I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this under skin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

Well, exactly the same thing happened again...how ever many skins have I got to take off?...So I scratched away for the third time, and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water, I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke - You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws...but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever elt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.

...He peeled the beastly stuff right off...and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water (a bubbling well in an enchanted garden). It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and all the pain was gone from my arm.

After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me...in new clothes.

And then suddenly I was back here."

-- C.S. Lewis, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Chronicles of Narnia.




29.6.04

today i was attacked by the most deadly assailant of all...allergens.
yes. the beastly mildew, dust and smoke particles invaded my store via the back door, and proceeded to launch a full blown attack on my immune system.
it was a battle. i fought back as best i could, but with my physical symptoms becoming a burden and a headache, i knew i had to take drastic measures. so i closed the back door, blocking the path of the homicidal air riders, and thus giving me time to recover.
it took about an hour for my breathing and thinking capacities to return in full, but we made it.

phew. i gotta go to laundry now. peace out.
m.rock

26.6.04

movies to see

on the corner--playing @ capital 6.
farenheit 9/11
shrek 2
the notebook

i think those are the movies i want to see. not too many. mostly because...a lot of movies suck.

question: have you seen the commercials for 'white chicks'!? because if you have...isn't it obvious that those 2 guys undercover aren't really the pretty blonde twins?! i've never seen such ugly women. Blech. it's like people getting fooled by batman's mask. he still sounds the same! it's so obvious...

lastly...i saw a documentary on channel 5, called...espanosa ?, or in english, 'a cry for roma'. it was about the roma people (gypsies) in europe. pretty sad situation. picture the ways jews were treated during world war 2, or rather, leading up to it. minus the gas chambers, that's what these people are enduring.

i went to bed thinking this: if God has not given up on the world yet, there must be some hope left. and that, if nothing else, brings me enough peace to sleep.

25.6.04

MariaMail - Email driven by personality

a few things
1) Wednesday was red-and-white-striped tie day. At least for David Letterman, Paul Martin, and Peter Mansbridge.
2) I'm voting Conservative. More because of key issues than anything else. I wish I agreed with more of their platform, but I don't. OH well. True patriot love, in all thy Son's command.
3) I haven't gone to Curves yet this week. Ah well. Lots of other wonderful things have happened.
4) Not including the last few nights when I've stayed awake 'til 2am, watching TV. Ugh. Puke. Blech.
5) I've got a show! With Anna Vandas (formerly Tkachenko). Tuesday July 6 @ 9pm, @ piece of cake up in north van. So come on out to that!
6) I have to go to work now. It's been nice chatting with you.

23.6.04

beautiful day

beautiful one i love!
beautiful one, i adore
beautiful one, my soul must SING!!!


tonight was good food for the tummy, and good soul food. great music (yielding the purchase of 2 new cds), sweet conversations, and tears of joy. a family reunion with an rto sister i'd never met, and setting up some gigs with a sister i love to sing with.

best day off...ever.

22.6.04

just kidding!!

beloved, listen to me.
don't believe all that you see.
and don't you ever let anyone tell you
that there's anything that you need
but me.



even so, it's going to be a rough summer, without my benny around.

15.6.04

i wish i was six again.

don't start forest fires

I was driving home from my voice lesson just a few minutes ago. When I got to Shell Rd, the "a train approaches!" lights and sounds were going off, so I stopped my car, and allowed the train to pass.

A few things:
Watching the cars as they approached the intersection was okay. Watching them pass, however, made me feel naseous.
All the cars of this particular train were excessive in height.
I had this (well-controlled) urge to 1) race across the tracks as the train was coming, and 2) slam my car into the train.

A little disturbing, but in a more positive light, I may be headed for a career as an action-hero. They can do that sort of thing. Truly invincible.

jo's pillow

here is my forgotten ode: to jo's pillow.

Friday, September 13, 2002

I just remembered that Jo took her pillow back. It has been keeping me in sweet, sweet slumber for a week...and now it is gone. I shall compose an ode to the pillow...

~O pillow, purple cover, smells like...nice.
Inside white, lumpy, yet soft on the other side.
How I shall miss thee, dear pillow, dear pillow.
I know not, I comprehend not...why have you left me?
O pillow, O pillow...do come back to me. And whisk me off to nights of sweet slumber and dreams.
O pillow, O pillow...do come back to me. And carry me gently, while of sweet things I dream.
Carry me gently, while of sweet things I dream.
~end.

YEp.
There it is. Now, onto the land of my bed I go...

13.6.04

nap-er-ific

Last night, I headed to bed @ 7.45pm, just for a little nap. I had a few people in mind to call when I woke up, and planned to sleep for maybe an hour. Plenty of time for sweet saturday night action.

Not so.

I awoke @ 11.45pm.

Now, having spent some time awake (to win back my tiredness), I am going to bed. Again.

Oh...don't you wish that your own life had this much excitement!?

(seriously, if you knew the beauty and the comfort that is my bed...you'd be excited too).

8.6.04

Le Blog du Moi.

KITTENS!!!

I was @ work, all alone, when the lady on Z95.3FM told me that Calgary had lost, and the cup was in Florida.

*tear*

It wasn't the greatest moment ever. Rather deflating, actually.

Until my brother remarked that Tampa [which makes me think of Tampax Tampons, which makes me think that Tampa is a stupid place for a team] Bay's hockey team (lightning?) has only ONE less Canadian than Calgary Flames. SO...without Canada, they wouldn't have the Stanley Cup. It's practically ours, anyway.


Yeah...I know. It's not terribly consoling right now.

4.6.04

aaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Dealing with one friend-based slamdunkofanissue was enough.
now...now there are more. it's all going up in flames.

which reminds me, CALGARY WON!!

oh, i seriously can't even pretend to be excited right now. i'm going to bed. and hopefully, to camp 2.

31.5.04

it's a post!

Sometimes love is a choice we make, to be Jesus' hands and feet to another person, because our own hands wouldn't do it.
Each person here has been created, with a purpose, and a breath of life to get them on their feet. We have to shout it out, that this is who they are!
THIS IS WHO YOU ARE!!!

No one's inheritance is divorce, or drug addiction. Abuse, neglect, unkindness, hatred, condescention--none of these things are what you were supposed to receive.
Instead, relentless grace. Boundless love. Mercy. Life.

Rock Garden's over for the year. After discussion last night, there's a bit of what I'm left to think over.

And one final question: what is something another person can do for you that brings you delight, and joy?

25.5.04

all hail america!

Sometimes we make fun of americans because they don't know squat about us (read: Rick Mercer).
Sometimes it's because they are so materialistic (read: Extreme Makeover).
Or perhaps because they like weird music (read: Britney Spears).

But once in a while, something is said or done that brings all the banter to a screeching silence, and gives cause for concern.

(In reference to the on-camera executioners of American contractor, Nicholas Berg, beheaded by Islamic militants in Iraq.)

"They are not to be respected, they are not to be protected, they are not to be understood. They are to be eliminated."
-- Rush Limbaugh

happy birthday to me!

this is a picture I really like.

Today was a day when I did not work, scooping ice cream. Instead, I went to bed only...19 hours ago, and upon waking this afternoon, I treated myself to fulfilling some wants!

WANTS FOR MUSIC. Here's what I ended up with:
Radiohead--hail to the thief
Mogwai--happy songs for happy people
Waking LIfe--soundtrack
Hayden~Elk--Lake Serenade
Sigur Ros--()
Jamie Cullum--twentysomething

MMMmmmmM!!!! So many good things to put into my headphones!

24.5.04

i wish i was as cool as that guy over there

this morning, i got into bed as the sun was coming up.

yes.

the sun came up...as i went to sleep.

23.5.04

waking life?

I saw part of Waking Life tonight.
A great movie...one that I must watch several times more, if only to catch with some degree of comprehension the dialogue...

It's all sort of rambling, and yet making sense; the kind of discussion I think I can have...it's certainly what goes on in my head...everything disjointed, but abstractly connected. The jumble that happens when the thoughts zinging around inside your head make their way out in an excited heap of brainpower and wonder.

We're all sort of stuck, figuring out this race as we go along. We know how to run, but the ground is always changing: mud, grass, cement, loose dirt, dry dirt, spongy undergrowth, sand...sometimes, even water is found underfoot.

Man. I don't know if this could be any of you out there, but I've always wanted a friend I could just call at anytime: day/night/inbetween, and just talk. More pointedly, have conversation. Or just company. Like TV best friends, who come into each other's rooms via the window, and talk about everything...

I dunno. I got the ice cream shop job. And a nice pair of shin splints to go along with it!

woo-woot!

to bed now, I must retire. Read 'the outsiders' again, or for the first time. It's got some golden moments.

much love,

21.5.04

arachnids

it's freakin' spiderscrawlingallovermyhouse season!!

ARGH!
I can't handle it!
I hate it when spiderscrawlallovermyhouse!!!

THey're just so...fast...and small...and have SO many freakin' babies...

even Charlotte's web would not be welcome HERE!

(in my barn, had I one, she could spin a web forever).

20.5.04

i wish i was six again.

Too many archie comics spoil the brain.

As will too many episodes of nip/tuck.
I watched 2.

I wasn't sure if I was still a human being by the end of the second one. It has, however, turned me off plastic surgery. So that's...good news...I guess.

The other thing it's taught me is that fat girls on tv are crazy. And if she doesn't get what she wants, she'll shoot herself.
Or this one did.

That...was...depressing.

I don't think I'll watch tv anymore.

18.5.04

LifeNetwork.ca :: Articles :: Tattoo

PIERCE IT!

" Consider the “Prince Albert,” named after its most famous owner, Queen Victoria’s husband. In the early 1800s, popular men’s fashion was all about really tight pants. In order to avoid unsightly bulges, men would have a ring pierced in their penis which they could then latch onto a hook inside the pants. It was the only time in history when “pants-ing” was not funny at all.. "

Just...there's nothing...I can't...I just don't...I....I gotta go!

early morning archies

Did you ever wonder what Reggie Mantle does in his spare time?
Because he's RARELY in the Archie stories. Even when it's a group of characters, it's usually Archie, Jughead, Veronica, and Betty. Reggie's really just a side character, a thorn in Archie's side (and a rose in Veronica's), but we don't know much about his life. We've never even seen his house or his parents!

At my house, Archie (a strange word to type) and his friends are EVERYWHERE...so I will continue my research into the life of Reggie.

Oh! There are other side characters, but not many solo ones. Dilton has science, Moose and Midge, Chuck and Nancy have each other...but Reggie...well I guess he has himself. (Wait, I made a mistake. While we haven't seen ALL of Reggie's house, we have seen his room, where he is often found gazing into a mirror).

17.5.04

i'm 22!

I was checking my email when I realized that it was 11.46pm, and only 14 minutes of birthday left!
So I will use it to post. Postapostaposta.

birthday has been good. lots of peace felt today (and a little sadness with a phone call from my beloved J.bent down in Australia). Yes, peace. Even in the midst of a rocky congregational meeting.

Heaps of thought about God's provision, and provision of GUIDANCE. Then Rikk blew the roof off tonight, just...I don't even know one thing he said to sum up all that he said.

And so, I am 22. It is official. I have a little bit of new stuff, which is always nice. I have a new appreciation for good friends, the lifeblood of the heart. I am confident that Jesus' death was not in vain, and that the Lord has been, and will continue to be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial,
another chance to reconcile to one who sees past all I see.
Reaching out my weary hand, I pray that you'd understand, you're the only one who's faithful to me.

That's the kind of Sunday it's been. Goodnight y'all.

12.5.04

new blogger....weird

My friend dave is starting this underground christian zine. I'm promised to give him some art/writing next week. Actually, I promised to give him as much as I can.
Kind of feeling insecure about that. I mean, I draw a lot during worship, and at church, or just for fun, but...aiiya! He's such a cool guy, film-maker, just really...cool.
That's silly, though. He's got to be the least judgemental person I know. On the contrary, he's so gentle and kind. He's married to my friend anna, and together...wow. They blow me away.

okay. Well. That's a wrap. Good times. Goooooooooooooood times.

jo's on drugs.

11.5.04

The Blog.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I NEED VISINE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


[also: come to my partaaay on saturdaaay. it will be funaaaay. @ 7pm aaaaay.]

9.5.04

i wish i was six again.

Back to that whole 'surrender' thing.

A few years back, I used to play baseball. I wasn't queen of the game, but I was pretty good. I could hit it out of the field when the connection was right, caught my share of high flies and grounders, and even pitched a no-hitter [inning].

However, my team was a group of insecure girls, and not unlike the cliched mean girls of tv and movies, they had a victim...me. They wouldn't play catch with me to warm-up, they rolled their eyes and snarled when I got up to pitch, they insulted me [whispers only], wouldn't let me sit on the bench while we were @ bat...all kinds of good stuff like that. I stuck with it for about 5 years, but then I had to get out.

Why?!

Because at one year-end party, my youngest sister became their victim when they chased her out of the diamond with handfulls of rocks. I think I quit the next year actually, because after than incident, MAN did they ever suck up to me.

*sighs*

Surrender.

Right now that means for me, giving up ALL the baseball stories. It means forgiving those things, and leaving them forgiven. Not trying to dredge up old emotions to get sympathy, or just to tell a story. It means leaving that behind, and allowing the wounds to heal. In recent months, I've wondered if that could even mean friendship or at least a conversation with one of the girls.

It's by grace we have been saved through faith, not from ourselves. It's a gift, not by works, so that nobody can brag about it. I think it's by grace that I can write this, and begin to understand this kind of surrender. Begin to grasp how wide, how long, how deep the love of God. Deep enough to forgive. Deep enough to heal. Deep enough to allow me to love my enemies.

Crazy, right?

Well. That's surrender for now.
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work." --Thomas Edison

8.5.04

I have a friend who's become well acquainted with Mr.Daniels and his friend Kahlua, since the dawn of his 19th birthday. That, combined with our radically different schedules, has led to a certain...distance.

But tonight, he arrived where I was, put his stuff down, walked over and hugged me. Huge. Bear-hug.

So...good. It's nice to be reminded why you love a person.

7.5.04

There's a new email service open for blogger.com users...gmail!

Oooh...

I already have 4 email addy's though. I don't know that I need another one.

I'm going to get a new driver's license this morning. *ahem*...this afternoon. I haven't seen morning the light side of morning for a long while.

what does the word "surrender" mean to you? Beyond the hostage setting, I mean.
Go ahead. COMMENT! I'll give my answer in the next post.

snot stew

My birthday is coming. I'll soon be 22. party party party party coming...come on ride the train.

My aunt gives me strange presents. Hairbrushes, candles, long underwear...sometimes books. Sometimes weird books...weird books like SNOT STEW by ... oh, just kidding no author for ya. I guess I got rid of the book.
ANYWAY...Snot Stew is written with a kitten as the narrator. A farm kitten. This farm kitten ends up living in a house where there are 2 children. When the children fight,
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
"IS NOT!"
"IS TOO!"
"ISNOT!"
"ISTOO!"
"iSNOT!"
"iSTOO!"
.....

"S'NOT!"
"S'TOO!"
=
SNOT STEW!!!

So the cat hears the fighting at dinner, and thinks that the delicious aromas he's smelling must be...SNOT STEW!!!

gross.

Also, the cat gets his tail bitten off by a mean dog.

Iccchy.

As I said, it was a weird book. Especially for children.




tunes: DC Talk--Jesus Freak. (almost old skool).

6.5.04

I just got back from a walk with JO!

Nothing like a late night conversation to soothe one's tattered....

eh, who'm I kidding? Nothing about me was tattered. I'd just been inside watching tv for too long. And, with the absence of school comes a lack of JO! time.

tonight though, such tragedy was averted! all thanks to...
well, to me and jo.

Oops, I mean JO!

may birthdays

well, may 5 was my sister's 20th birthday.
20 years ago, in Neilburg Saskatchewan, she was born.
that was a good day.

she's a girl who I want to protect. I want to punch people who hurt her, lecture bosses who misdirect her, lay into those whose childhood woundings have left scars on her precious heart; perhaps as a way of redirecting my own guilt.

it's such a honour to watch my sisters and brother turn into such wonderful, godly, hilarious people. we're becoming friends, really.

good times.

5.5.04

so apparently.....I might have an Argentinian counsin.

3.5.04

Today started....with a slow crawl. Out of bed.
UP the stairs to breakfast...over to the couch for TV. Goooooood times.

I perused a reader's digest, settling on a story about Cougar attacks in Colorado (cheery, eh?). At the end of the story, a young man was mauled by the cat, and subsequently, killed. The description was bare, but still horrifying. What some predators can do to a person...*shudders*...

Anyway, one of this guy's friends said about his death, "It felt natural....like it was part of nature, and part of the way the cycle happens. It seemed kind of pure."
Another said it was fitting, because he was "a real outdoorsy guy."

WHAT!?

So flaky! LAME! If you ever say that about me, should I be killed by some sort of animal, I'll come back and punch you in the face!!!!!

So there.

Ha.
[read: sarcasm, not endorsement].
I just saw the WORST paidtvcommercial EVER.
Not everyone is meant to be monogamous.
A service for attached adults seeking new relationships. After all, we're all sexual beings. Why bother trying to communicate your spouse, when there are other people out there, wanting to try something/someone new.
We are sexual beings, and those needs must be met. Why be faithful to your marriage if you're miserable? (hmm..."for better or for worse..."). Screw the vows! This is a liberated, free choice society people!
This calls for action! Exercise your individual freedom to attain your own happiness and fulfillment!
Act NOW!

1.5.04

I don't know how many of you have heard of, or read of, or listened to, Rich Mullins (note also: Brennan Manning), but NOWTV was just playing an old talk of his, and wow.
He was talking about how wonderful it is that we aren't meant to be perfect, because that would be life without living. Where there is life, there is mess.
He went on to talk about St.Peter (you know, the one who lets people into heaven? Yeah, him). Here was a man who denied Christ, who was forgiven, who preached to thousands, and still had hang-ups about gentiles. But the beauty of it is...he wasn't preaching because of his own perfection, or his self-confidence or self-belief. No. No, he preached, he spoke, he called out to the masses of people at Pentecost because of his conviction, his faith in Jesus Christ.

That's what is rocking me right now, folks.
More later.

26.4.04

It may have been his heart-WRENCHING performance in say anything...or the way he sold me on the beta band's "3 ep's" in High Fidelity...or the fact that every character he's played has been a dorky fool-in-love...whatever the case...John Cusack...steals my heart away.
















wait a second.
WHAT IF HE IS THE ONE WHO CALLED!!???!?!?!!!!

25.4.04

MISSED CALL!!!

Somebody called just before dinner...a boy...and my sister told him to call back in half an hour!!
BUT HE HASN'T!!!

Who is he? What did he want? Could we have hung out? Was he a friend I see often, or one I see rarely!?

Was it for a movie? Ice cream? Music? WHY DID HE CALL!!!??!!

BOY, boy, if you are reading, please call again! Dinner is over, and I have NO homework!!!

mister God, this is Melinda.

Sometimes there are friends you have who just...know.
Not much is ever said, but what is in common is rooted in your hearts, and you just know. One day, your paths will intersect, run together for a time, but until then, each time they cross you are thankful once again for their long-distance friendship.

I ran into one such friend tonight. He and his wife, and their family, have blessed me a thousand times more than I deserve. The love they've shown me has been a light in darker times, and their lives are markers in mine. When I'm struggling with something, just barely slogging through each day, I know that they've been here too. Fighting. And I know they're cheering me on, too.

Wow. Praise the Lord for such depth of fellowship.

24.4.04

THE END:
Friday, April 23 @ 2.17pm.
CEDAR 148.

JURY: OVER

LIFE: BEGINNING....now.

23.4.04

My hope is in the Lord who has renewed my strength
when everything seems senseless my hope is still in Him
who has made heaven and earth
and things seen and unseen
Whatever shade of passing day my hope is still in Him.

22.4.04

I am going to Oregon next week, to visit my friend Luke. It's a 9 hour drive. And I can do it alone. But I'm kind of looking for a road-trip buddy. Just in case any of ya'll are interested.

COMMENT!

the end....

I decided not to go to camp this summer, for good reason, and definitely after much time spent asking God about it.
So, I'm fine with that. City summer, could be awesome...there are definitely some people here who I look forward to spending time with.

I had a few camp friends who were going to be staying home as well, and I was so stoked about that. They're good friends too, awesome people, and I was so excited at the prospect of hanging out with them. Still would be. Except...they're not staying home anymore.

Aiiya.

I can't even blame them, I mean...who would stay here...when you can be up there? It's beautiful, the night sky is incredible, you get to spend your summer OUTSIDE, with friends, working, but really, it's chill. And there's the faith aspect too, when it all works together, it can be really uplifting.

It's my God, you know, he's just pushing me to trust him more and more. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a guy this summer who I never would have met, had I been way. Maybe I'll get other incredible opportunities, in ministry, in friendship, or with school and music...things that never would have happened while I was at camp. I actually have a lot of hope in my heart that this summer will be amazing. Seeing prayer answered in the real world context.

NOT HAVING THE BUBBLE TALK...that will be good.

I'm just so sentimental. And when you're in that state of mind, nothing bad filters through. I only remember the good, love-filled, stars and sunset times. The long conversations, hikes in the forest, drinking tea at sunrise (okay...I've never done that), but swimming, tanning, chilling on the field...

Problem is, I think a lot of it is sentiment. A lot of it is remembering the great traditions, but forgetting the Spirit who still moves today. Forgetting that he sometimes does new things. Forgetting that all the great memories in the world don't change a life forever. But meeting the eternal God does.

Anyway, I'll probably spend a few nights crying, missing what has been, wondering what is happening up at camp. And no doubt, I'll go and visit. But I think there's a lesson in continuity, in perserverence, in trust. I'm excited to be here. I'll miss the ones up there. But really...it's only 8 weeks.

If you see me in July and August, bring on the lovin', though. I'll be missing that the most.

21.4.04

Okay folks, that's 6 down, 1 to go. After my jury (@ 2pm on Friday), I will be finished first year, well on my way towards a Bachelor of Music.

*sighs*

Feels pretty good, I'd say.

I know that there's a lot of work ahead of me next year, a lot of polishing, striving for excellence, not goodness. It will require more committment than I ever imagined, so once September hits, I'll be back in hermit mode. But don't worry. I'll make time for YOU, and if you need me...be not afraid to call.

Next week, I look forward to some time with my American friends, and after that...a summer of:
1. FUN (avec mes amis, et ma famille).
2. WORK (to make the money for school!)
3. MUSIC
4. SUNSHINE
5. RENEWAL

Pass the sunblock, mix the tapes, load up the gear...it's time...for....SUMMER!!!!!!
Tonight, en route to asap, I learned the words for Faure's "En Priere".
Beautiful song.

On the way home, I was thinking about some different things, and somehow got wondering about infidelity.
I was wondering about married perons who have affairs, and when their marriages break up, marry the person they were cheating with! That seems strange to me. Granted, I don't get relationships...but I would have assumed that the affair was more about sex than anything else, so...what's there to build a new marriage on?
Or maybe the cheater really wasn't into the marriage at all, and hence the affair was really a new, truly intimate relationship.

I don't know.
Kind of a touchy subject, I guess, but one that knocks me down sometimes. Some of the most amazing families I know have been wrecked by infidelity.

A puzzlement.

20.4.04

and one more thing.

I TOTALLY SCHOOLED MY EXAM.

YEEEEEEEEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I TOOK IT TO SCHOOL.

BEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
this is latin. i will sing it at my jury. friday.
here:
quia respexit humilitatem
ancillae suae:
ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent.

19.4.04

so it boils down to...

What does that mean, "it all boils down to...[blank]."?

I guess...when you boil something, it's going to eventually reach it's simplest state. I guess.

But ummm....my Music History final is tomorrow. The Renaissance! The Reformation and COUNTER-Reformation!

One thing I'll say about the Renaissance: SUCH beautiful music. Consonant harmonies...the kind that ring in your ears like spring air...oh my goodness.
Just lovely.
My favourite is playing...now.

Orlando di Lasso's "Tristis est anima mea". A Respond written for Maundy Thursday.

18.4.04

OOOOOOH!!!

THose Haloscan ads, found @ the bottom of the comment sections!

You know what I mean?

Yeah. THe one for Bibb's revenge...totally opens infinite Internet Explorers when you try to close it!

NO GOOD.
Music students explain antecedent...GO!
Part 2.
"antecedent dolce collarbone acton resent coy asplenium blurt pessimist alienate torque watercourse ask chimpanzee gore picture forlorn utterance hairpin myosin camouflage cubic bibliography centric chen inconsistent opaque else temptress riyadh gentry carton coon traverse "

best jun-mail title EVER.

why everyone needs a digital camera...or maybe just me.

Today, as I was driving on the #1 to Coquitlam, I saw a head of me...a stream of toilet paper.

WHAT!?

YEs, it's true. A flatbed truck carrying 3 port-a-potties was driving along, with toilet paper flying out of the potty nearest the rear of the truck.

I was LAUGHING...and then I was disappointed.

1. NO CAMERA!!! That would be been...MONEY!
2. nobody else in my car. Funny things are funnier with a friend.

17.4.04

Driving home thoughts, part 1.

I was thinking as I drove home today...and here are some of those thoughts.

I communicate a lot through physical touch/contact. Be it hand-holding, or hugging, or linking arms, or just putting my hand on someone's arm while I'm talking to them...One way I communicate is by touch.

It can also be called a "love language". Those are ways in which you receive, and usually give, love. I think there are four or six all together...six, probably. My primary ones are physical touch, words (so things that are said or written), quality time, and gifts.

Touch is so important to me though. It's a huge part of how I communicate. When I first meet a group of people, like when I started school this year, and I don't yet have friends who I know well enough to hug, I feel SO lonely. I mean, in the most comfortable of situations, I have friends who I can totally walk up to and hug, or snuggle with for few minutes...meh, it's just how I work.

But tonight, for example...no hugs. I was with a friend of mine...we go to concerts together and hang out and stuff like that...but he's totally different, as far as I can tell, in terms of touch. When I'm just with him, I totally feel strange...like I have to hold back those natural tendencies to make physical contact.

I started thinking about all this after he got out of my car...and that was it. Just..."bye". Totally like hearing all of a beautiful song...except the closing note. The experience has been awesome, but suddenly.....

you feel unsettled.

I feel unsettled.

I need a hug. A good, solid, rib-crushing hug. *sighs*

need to goooooooo!

Tonight, I went to the symphony. As I was driving home, I realized...
I HAVE GO TO PEE!!!

But really, with capitals and everything, I HAD TO GO PEE!!!

But...all the gas stations were closed.
And it was midnight...so I didn't want to wake any of my friends (on the way home)...so I just drove, and went when I got here.

BUT...one of the roads I drove on was so bumpy...I held myself up off the seat with my left leg, otherwise...danger.

YEp.

15.4.04

In connection to my job searching post, a cartoon!
the album: Guns, Cars & Sitars
the song: Punjabis, Pimps & Players
the follow-up: Bombay the Hard Way, Vol 2: Electric Vindaloo
the tune: Sexy Mother Fakir

All this thrown together with "Fear of a Brown Planet", and you've got the brilliance of east meets west....

And me, laughing out loud in my computer room.

(thanks aaron)

10.4.04

note: asinine means "extremely stupid or foolish."
There are definitely some things that I know I don't suck at. For instance, I know I can sing, and I can sing well, because of both training, and natural talent. I know that.
I also know that I can read, without much difficulty. I'm not sure what asinine means (although, I will look it up post-haste), but most of the time, I understand what I read. Not only that, but I love reading. This morning, for example, I woke up and read a few essays out of a book my english teacher gave me, before listening to the Vinyl Cafe. (Which was particularily amusing this morning, just in case you were wondering).
I've also tried my hand at writing a few times, most recently for academic credit, and I'm pretty good at that too. Some would say I have a way with...ah yes, words.
I took dance lessons for a long time, so I have decent rhythm, and I can whirl an Irish reel or jig with the best of them.
However, I am not so good at applying for jobs. My palms get sweaty, my words awkward, and incoherent. I'm sure I tremble with fear when I ask, "C-c-c-annnn I d-drop off-ff-ff a r-r-r-r-ee-e-sume?"
AIIIYA!!!
And yet, I am a more than capable potential employee! I've worked in the sweetest of jobs (a bakery), the crappiest of jobs (a crack hotel), and the most draining of jobs (a daycare). I have excellent "people skills", I love to help others, I greet customers with a smile; I am amicable, polite, conscientious, and knowledgeable.
WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO HIRE ME!??!!!
*sighs*
And yet, as I pass out the resumes, I get only a smattering of interviews, and usually they aren't successful. Strangely enough, it's always the jobs my parents tell me about that end up working out, as was the case with both the bakery, and the ymca.
So if you see a "we're HIRING" sign in a store window, give me a comment. Because I will surely apply, albeit with much fear and trembling.

My friend Bryce has had to interview people for the place where he works. He told me interviewers are just as nervous as interviewees, because they are trying to find the perfect fit for their team. Perhaps my next cover letter should read:
"Dear possible employer,
I know that I would be an excellent employee in your store. I will probably seem nervous when we meet, but don't take that too seriously. It's a difficult thing, applying for work. Please don't reject my application just because I'm a full-time student, and can't work all winter. Surely you've been a student too, and know how important it is to have work when you need it, and time to study when you need that too. Let's interview soon--I'd love to meet you and find out what this possible new-to-me workplace is all about. Sincerely, Melinda."

8.4.04

essay....

essay...is....DONE!
(offically @ 1.16am. Woot. I get up @ 6.45am. wooooot :S).

7.4.04

push button publishing...for the people

Two years ago I was camping in the lushness of North Queensland's rain forest, on a property calling Wuringha.
I had blazing ear infections, and I was camping (with 100 close friends) in a mouldy hay field.
NO toilets, minimal running water, lots of rain, and NO DOOR ON MY TENT.
=
recipe for a crappy time.

BUT...I was on my dts, and Mark Parker was speaking. As he spoke, God crept more and more into my heart, and then EXPLODED into my life with power, grace, forgiveness, and glory. And while I wrestled with ants at night, I somehow found rest in being the child of a loving Father.
In 5 days I celebrate the 2nd anniversary of my baptism.
On Saturday, I celebrate 8 years of living committed to Christ.

Sometimes though, I miss the friends who live in California, Michigan, Denmark, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, Texas, Oregan, Washington, and Missourri.

But it's all good. A little break in the heart makes you stronger.
Tonight, a friend of mine came to see "the tomb" with me @ nsa (a church).
It's an easter play, where the main character is Joseph of Aramathea, a member of the sanhedrin, in whose tomb Jesus was buried.
Cool story and point of view, but it was...well, it was a church production. Good. Community Theatre-esque.

Anyway, when I dropped her off @ home, she said, "someday I'll have to make you come with me into my element..."
That's cool, and fair...and then I was thinking, "hmm...."
What if....well, are we willing to do that? Step into other people's comfort zones the way we expect them to come so willingly into ours?

There was something else that I was thinking about on the way home...and I wanted to tell you about it.
But now I can't remember what it was.
Oh well.

It was good, fo sho...but umm...you'll just have to wait a while longer to hear it.

Oh, question: if you've seen the passion, what do you think of it? Why did you go see it?
And if you haven't seen it, why not? What do you think of it?

6.4.04

HMmm...

Jelly Belly jelly beans are so great.
Especially the mixed ones. They add excitement to your life with each bean!
Unless you get the one that sort of tastes like soap...

blech.

4.4.04

ode to the marmots

The marmots
they attacked at every opportunity
they stole my voice and sanity
they spat on discipline
and scoffed at rules
fuel for arguments and discussions
their cabin housed an atomic stench
(a mouldy pair of nikes proved the culprit)
rather skate than sweep
they ran amuck
for two weeks we battled
nose to nose
and with their named imprinted on the island
they left in their wake a gust of sighs
thank goodness for boys
who else would stir the pot
and send matter flying into fans?

3.4.04

Resist the urge to take offense, because at the base of this I am amused.

It's a difficult time, financially. Tuition's up, movies cost more, so does food and clothing. I understand being broke.

I have saved money for shows and concerts and movies, turning down other offers in order to go with the one I really wanted. If a friend's choir or orchestra or concert band was performing, I'd make plans to go. I'm happy to show support and patronage of my friends and their art.

But apparently choirs are out. The invite to come see Brahm's Reqieum by the Cap College choir has been met with, "ooh...I...umm....good luck with that."

I understand, I do. Classical music isn't everyone's thing, and $15 is kind of steep for a performance you aren't really stoked on. But still I wish there were just one who would take the plunge. Maybe then you'd understand why I haven't been around.

[props to the ash and the andwer who came and listened/napped their way through Gloria and Magnificat at Christmas. and to all who came out to the Sound of Music. Your support and cheering doesn't go unnoticed].

31.3.04

GEORGI!!!
WHERE WERE YOU!!!?!!!
I SANG MY BEST FOR YOU!!!
[pa-rum-pum-pum-pum]
MY MANY FANS CHEERED ME ON
AND SHOWERED ME WITH ROSES.
[translation: my classmates were there, and some of them were eating lunch while they listened].

okay. peace out.

29.3.04

question: if you nap mid-day, do you find that you are hungry when you wake up?

annoying!

So I'm sitting in the library, studying. Buddy anonymous (not necessarily of commentary fame) comes back from his coffee break and sits next to me. Stinks of smoke and coffee...annoying #1.

Whatever, that's fine...it's life. Let's get to work. Okay, so, okay, so, okay...Okay. So...okay. [Georgi is bounding up the stairs as I type...cool girl]. The anon. guy fixes his jacket, takes a sip of coffee, taps his pencil twice on the desk, shuffles his papers.......and then adjusts his jacket, takes a sip of coffee, taps his pencil twice on the desk, looks at his assigment...and then adjusts his jacket, takes a sip of coffee,.....ONLY THIS TIME he tapped his pencil for a minute [argh!], and then took OFF his jacket, fixed his shirt, drank coffee...

ARGH!!!

It was very annoying, so I got up and left, and came here to post about it. Now I will go to my car, and then english.

Good bye.