30.1.04

ahhhh

AND NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO DOWNLOAD/BUY/WIN FOR FREE ANY STINKIN' CRAP STUPID PORN!!!!


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!













sometimes, i really hate the internet.

'nuff said.

Music is so good.

28.1.04

spooning

i just ate a big, huge, sticky, delicious spoonful of nutella.

Mmmm...holland's gift to the world. right up there with tulips, but much better tasting.

my throat is a thick, gooey, chocolate mass of muck. i may never sing again.

27.1.04

if...

if you are @ school, and checking my blog, i'm in the library until asap.
probably napping near the octagon, or studying upstairs.

come and say

hi.

again

so here I am, @ school, having just finished a quasi-monumental theory "exam", I am doing important things in the library.

very important.
things.

any newblog postingsi should check out?

the space baron this keyboard getsstucksometimes.

can you tell?
I was just reading a friend's blog; she was talking about how many of the women she knows are amazing, and I found myself thinking, "Am I one such woman?".
Not to be too self-indulgent, understand, or to come asking for your compliments and assurances, but I wonder how it is I am seen.
I have a few friends right now, and our hearts seem to be one. Beating after Christ with the same determination and passion. It is good to worship and prayer with them, to feel myself come alive as words of praise, intercession and prophecy pour out of my lips.
Not to be too abstract, but that's when I feel alive!!! I don't believe God has anything less that the fullest life for me (John 10:10), but what does that look like? What is my role there? How am I to walk out each day? To speak, sing, play piano, read my textbooks, exercise, do my listening, sight-reading, bussing, driving, writing, talking, hanging out...keeping in touch, and letting go...how do I seek first His kingdom in the midst of that? Or over all of it...how does Matt.6:33 work itself out?

I'm not lost or defeated. Maybe moving a little slower. Taking a little longer. Healing a little deeper.

Sitting in silence where I would have jumped up to dance and sing; on my knees where I would have throw my hands up in praise. There is an intimacy in silence, with closed eyes and attentive mind, that I've never known through song and movement.

How I would love to have my day ordered in Lauds, Matins and Vespers.

Perhaps my hours contain more praise and reflection that I would first assume.

good night.

26.1.04

AHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

SCHOOL IS SO CRAZY!!!

BAAAAAAH!!!!!

22.1.04

i'm a jerk

i'm a jerk when i take the bus.
really.
i get so edgy and stressed, especially when being late for school would mean missing part of a test.
ARGH!

Seriously.
Not a great way to start the day.

how are you?

READ. AGAIN.

"The morning when I was making coffee I suddenly realised how boring musicians are. All our friends are musicians and we aren't interested in anything except music. We're stunted. Totally stunted. Like atheletes."

(Vikram Seth, An Equal Music).

[I thought that all of you needed to read this again, and then begin to laugh with abandon.]

21.1.04

today. the m.rock.

today my dad got me a new cell phone, discman and adaptor. I found them when I came home after an amazing time @ asap.

my friend scotty had one of the caedmon's call cd's that I had stolen, and he's letting me borrow it. WHAT A BLESSING!!!

also, I actually got some work done @ school. Hooray for 2nd week, 2nd semester! My work ethic is coming back.

and I saw the daring duo ryan & andwer. that was cool. And ... the coolest librarian whose name I can't spell. But she has a sweet mohawk.

Uh...okay. Bye.

20.1.04

remember

This is from the liner notes of a CD by Jason Upton. It's called 'Remember'. The CD is gone...it was one stolen from my car. I hope that wherever it ends up, someone is blessed by it. Especially if it gets back to me.

"I have tried my whole life to chase His Kingdom, hoping to be made righteious; only to find that nothing makes me holy (or whole) like the presence of my Father.

Because of that I am trying to learn to slow down long enough for Him to catch me. God could catch me if He watned; but He likes it when I wait for Him."

Wow, guys, this is getting really hard; trying to reconcile myself to being broken into.
If you could be praying for me, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

m.

19.1.04

reading about music.

"The morning when I was making coffee I suddenly realised how boring musicians are. All our friends are musicians and we aren't interested in anything except music. We're stunted. Totally stunted. Like atheletes."

(Vikram Seth, An Equal Music).

knowledge.

to be a real composer, you need to arrange the catholic mass and call one of your pieces claire de lune.

after then you're good to go.

p.s.

oh yes. for those of you who may have previously used my cellular telephone as primary mode of contact with me, be advised that it has been removed from my possession, and hence, I shall be unable to 1) answer it, or b) check the messages.

good day.

woot

hey ya'll.
it's monday again.
what a crazy week it's been.

up, up and away!

18.1.04

WAAAAAAAAAH!!!

SO GOOD! A MORNING!
Praise God from whom all BLESSINGS flow!

Most of my stuff has been FOUND!!!!

Lunchtime. Mmmm.
stuff i liked, but i'll be okay: my cool discman, and CD-to-car adaptor, CD's (Caedmon's call (2), Pedro (control- ha), in medias res, rufus wainwright (poses), john mayer (heavier), the wildings (w2...i think). and more.

wow.

i'm going to bed now. This is all a bit much. Blessings to you!

and peace.

Mmm.

melinda

where the Spirit of the Lord is...

What a strange end to a wonderful week.
My car's been broken into...wallet, purse, sleepover bag, discman, cell phone (so don't call it), CD's....gone.
most heart breaking: my Bible. I really like it.
2nd most heart breaking: my journal. a really turbulent, blessed year. And some wonderful words of encouragement from all of you. : )
3rd most heart breaking: new jason upton CD. beautiful music. i wanted to fall asleep to it tonight.

most financially butt kicking things: retainers & splint.

lots of work to cancel/recover: cell phone, bank and credit cards, birth certificate, SIN, driver's license, student card, other membership cards.

what i'm thankful for: the angels God has commanded to protect and minister to me. Lord, can I hear them sing tonight as I sleep? That would be so wonderful.

To be thankful for: Anna, and the 2 hours we spent praying together.
- my car is not gone.
- i am not hurt.
- God is still God. And He loves me.
- this happened at a time when I am so freshly covered in the annointing of the Holy Spirit. It is here, so near to God, that this attack can't touch me. Thank you, Abba, for your covering, your grace, your infinite love.

I love you Lord,
and I lift my voice to worship you,
O my soul, REJOICE!!!
Take JOY my King, in what you hear!
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.

amen.

16.1.04

i always come.

i always come into the library and pretend that i have important things to do @ the computer, when really all i do is check my email and the blog circuit.

so.

15.1.04

woah
there's a guy over there ---> who doesn't really have a neck.

wow.

that post about friendship? i don't even know what happened there.

nutty.

i bet jo broke into my blog again.

okay i gotta hit the highway before it's CRAZY crowdereated.

thank goodness (?) for fast internet

hey.
i'm on a break from history, music history.
the history of music.
right now, music is coming from 'the early christian church'.
constantine just became pope/emperor of rome.

in byzantine, they had some sweet church music going on that everybody else copied.

chants are next.

woot.

14.1.04

the wind blows.

Did you ever have a friend who was all of a sudden awesome?
Or maybe not all of a sudden, but one day you realized that they'd become someone you really cared about, and who apparently cared about you, more than you thought?

That's always good. It's interesting how some friendships can explode with intensity on first contact, and others take time to be shaped and formed, but all those relationships are changing, growing, shifting and becoming new, or old, sometimes even forgotten.

And with that, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it."

You are never alone.
You won't be forsaken or forgotten. There is a time when you can rest, and trust that you are loved and taken care of.

God bless you.

I don't mind folding laundry when it's fresh from the dryer.

Okay, so once again, I'm about to be the 4th shower of the morning, which means little to no chance of hot water.

argh.

On another note, (Ab), I have lots of clean underwear.

hoorah.

13.1.04

le weekend

post part deux:
this week (wed-sat) i'll be in abottsford. this shouldn't affect too many of you since i don't see you at or near my house on a daily basis.

why abottsford you ask? well, i'm attending a conference @ night, and still coming up here for school each day. i may be crazy. yes yes.

check it out right about....here.

I always want to make the linked words really cool, but I'm not always in the mood to imagine.

Anyway...i'm going to go buy school supplies. I think I have....yes, $0.23. maybe enough for a new pencil or pen to apply for a loan to buy books and paper.

just kidding.

i'm all alooone...

i'm in the library, and it smells like garbage.

i hope i don't smell like garbage, that would suck.

i'm pretty sure that my bag and i smell like peppermint tea, which i drank during music history.

the funny thing about studying an art @ school is how little time is left for actual creativity, assuming the need for 6-8 hours of sleep a night.

speaking of sleeping, i'm off to staples then back to school for my daily library nap.

it's all too true....

you know it's a full-blown crush when you check your email 29 times a day.

'til we meet again.

Until something better comes along, the plan is I will walk down the aisle (of my wedding...ha) to "heart" by STARS.

12.1.04

let's fall in love

how bout we try that again?
Perhaps there isn't too much more to say about today. I'm back @ school, so that means if you've been enjoying my company in the wee hours of the morning, that won't be happening anymore. Not often anyway. Maybe just on Fridays (or technically, Saturdays).

In other news, it's time for me to go do some studying. Farewell, my fine-feathered friends.

Sleeping tonight will be SO good. I love a good night's sleep. I'm gonna get good and tired so I can enjoy it.

TA!

YUMMY

Okay, so my first day back @ school has gone fairly well. My theory teacher has adopted a new method of giving notes, and this is: he no longer writes examples on the board! Rather he refers to the textbook.
I don't like change.

When t.rex and I arrived @ our locker this morning, we knew something was amiss. It was just wrong....familiar, but wrong. We soon ascertained the problem. Her "lovely" boyfriend turned our whole section around..

okay i'm gonna go eat with tim.
more later
bye

case in point

no matter what the sky looks like, even in the brightest midday heat of summer, always, always ALWAYS carry an umbrella.
in vancouver.

Otherwise, you could end up wandering around campus, soaking wet, and squinting your eyes as if your eyelids can keep you dry.

Poor suckers. I don't know who ends up like that.

classically speaking...

Today is a very important day: semester 2 of my post-secondary education begins!
and YESTERDAY was important because I discovered the first soprano I really enjoy listening to: Dawn Upshaw (I think).

I got an album of hers from the RPL. She's sings "Debussy's lost songs..." (I'll double check that CD title later).

Anyway, it's good. I really like it. YAAAAY!! There is hope for my classical listening yet.

Oh, and I have a note on why my posts aren't usually long and ranty---I blog when I'm tired, and the coherence of my thinking @ that time is ususally slim to none. So it makes sense. My thoughts only last a few moments.

That and my short term memory is terrible, so anything I might think to post about during the day will soon be forgotten, and by the time I sit down to blog, all that is left are the mundance incidents of life.

shout out to all my peeps @ Cap. Lunches together in the courtyard start: tomorrow.

9.1.04

hooray! hooray!

It's Beethoven Day on the CBC.

Go listen! NoW!! 105.7FM

"grow rips"

Apparently, drug enthused persons are racing around Vancouver and it's surrounding affiliates, breaking into people's houses in search of grow ops.
Just yesterday, 2 people broke into the house of a 65-year-old man, and pepper sprayed him. But our elderly friend busted out his gun, and the punks ran off.

Scary.

I've noticed that some Bloggies have the stamina to write long posts each day.
LOOOOOOOOoooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggg. Holy wack.
I just can't do it. I don't always have that much to think about. I'm not a ranter about superficial things. Sorry folks.

One other thing though: people who pay for their blogs. WHY!? Are they just very serious about their online journalling? Or do businesses use them?
Look into that one for me.

I have a voice lesson in a few minutes...well actually, in an hour, but I have to drive to North Vancouver, so I'd best be on my way.

Umm...have a great day bloggies.

8.1.04

AHHHHHHHH!!!

SO MAD RIGHT NOW!!!

do you know what T-shirt sheets are? The most comfortable sheets/pillow cases that I've ever slept with.

AMAZING!!

Mine are light blue.

BUT...I'm using this super-powered blow-your-zits-into-oblivion-keep-refridgerated cream on my face. On the box it says, "may bleach hair and coloured fabric."

MAY!!?!?!! DOES!!!! It bleached my pillow case!!! My pillow case, my T-shirt pillow case it now all BLEACHED and SPLOTCHY!!!!


Oooh...I am mad. FREAKIN' PISS!!!!!

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

did you ever...

did you ever like somebody, but you weren't really sure if you did or not, just that, if you were going to like somebody right then, it would that person?

Or, did you ever wish that the person you were going to marry would hurry up and be ready, so that you could get married, or @ least know that person, and have somebody to call @ 2am who wouldn't punch you in the face for waking them up?

but did you ever think, "what if the person I marry...what if I don't like them when I first meet them?"

sometimes, i get an email from someone, and i'm so excited...then i think all these things, and i decide to blog them, because hey...that's what my blog is for.

g'nite.

7.1.04

Those 2 posts are taken from Brennan Manning's "The Signature of Jesus"
(not a bible code book).

More. Manning. And Me.

"More often than I like to admit, I still get bamboozled into trying to make myself acceptable to God. It seems I cannot forgo this crazy enterprise of getting myself into a position where I can see myself in a good light. I still struggle to let go of the preposterious pretense that my paltry prayers, knowlege of Scripture, spiritual insights, tithing to the poor, and blustering successes in ministry endear me to God's eyes.
I resist the saving truth that I am lovable simply and solely because He loves me."

Manning's thoughts...

"The Spirit convicted Peter that he was not doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. Nor are we. There is a power available to transcend our automatic emotional responses and robot-like behaviour. Endowed with the courage to risk everything on the truth of the gospel, we surrender our gnawing need to be okay and cease applying spiritual cosmetics to make ourselves presentable."

6.1.04

laaazy

Today I:
-got out of bed around noon and ate a bowl of life.
-it didn't work.
-showered/dressed by 3:30pm.
-Buzzed around the house.
-thought about getting stuff ready for school.
-thought about looking for a binder and dividers somewhere in my room....
-thought about other stuff.
-took Lizzy to her violin lesson, and went for a 25ish min. walk on the dike.
-came home.
-ate.
-tried to watch my new coldplay dvd, but fell asleep.
-slept.
-got up.
-did stuff.
-blogged.
-bedded.

Yep. Another filling day in the life of me.
We're aiming for a little more action tomorrow.
peace.

5.1.04

medical mysteries

fluticasone propionate aqueous nasal spray
shelf name: Flonase.

60 metered doses of 50mcg each.

Corticosteroid: for nasal use

how would you feel about this being inside your body? It makes me a little nervous, but it also makes me able to BREATHE.

*sighs*

I am a slave to Western Medicine. And until Naturopaths stop charging more than I could ever afford, a slave I shall remain.

Penicillin, anyone?

4.1.04

ALIVE!!!!

I want to run outside, breathe the air and feel ALIVE!!!
Watch the stars, hear the moon snap, crackle, pop! in the cold, cold air!
Scream and shout, love and be loved--enjoy each moment in the light
of day.
Before this snow covered earth melts to green again I want to know the thrill of being awake in the shocking cold of a long winter's day.

3.1.04

words for jeff

it's just enough to be strong in the broken places.

-jars of clay

2.1.04

and finally...

Slippers.

more...

I almost forgot!
My own little pony, some rainbow, and a rest for my head, plus towels (Sanni), Christmas lights, star lights (Strala), tea lights (candles), candle holders, basket, storage bins, flower pots, pictures, picture frames, and still more to come.

"new year"

hey ya'll, welcome to 2004!!! My 22nd year of being. Wow.
Things I thought I'd be by now:
- almost done school.
- married or engaged.
- moved out.

Haha! None of which have happened. My life has taken different turns than my CAPP-self would have predicted, but CAPP was pretty stupid (that's Career And Personal Planning).

Umm...I just finished putting together a Sorum bench, by IKEA.
Check it out.
My bed is here too.
Oh wait, there's more. Shelves (Billy bookshelf and corner shelf in white), CD Tower,
chest of drawers, a shelf that's not on the website *shock!*, and finally a lamp (Kvall),fleece, stripes, some bedspread, aaand...a duck (Krumeleur).

1.1.04

the new year is....

sigur ros and the hallway @ mattie mcd's.
worship invasion with family, old and new.
NOT getting lost in Surrey.
sleeping @ chonger's at 5am.
Lil' Rascals for Breakfast.
justin, zoe, thea, jeff, andrew, trevor and laura.

bizouncin'.

happy 2004 ya'll. May you know joy in the darkest of times, and the assurance of knowing you're walking in your destiny.

LOVE