I was just reading a friend's blog; she was talking about how many of the women she knows are amazing, and I found myself thinking, "Am I one such woman?".
Not to be too self-indulgent, understand, or to come asking for your compliments and assurances, but I wonder how it is I am seen.
I have a few friends right now, and our hearts seem to be one. Beating after Christ with the same determination and passion. It is good to worship and prayer with them, to feel myself come alive as words of praise, intercession and prophecy pour out of my lips.
Not to be too abstract, but that's when I feel alive!!! I don't believe God has anything less that the fullest life for me (John 10:10), but what does that look like? What is my role there? How am I to walk out each day? To speak, sing, play piano, read my textbooks, exercise, do my listening, sight-reading, bussing, driving, writing, talking, hanging out...keeping in touch, and letting go...how do I seek first His kingdom in the midst of that? Or over all of it...how does Matt.6:33 work itself out?

I'm not lost or defeated. Maybe moving a little slower. Taking a little longer. Healing a little deeper.

Sitting in silence where I would have jumped up to dance and sing; on my knees where I would have throw my hands up in praise. There is an intimacy in silence, with closed eyes and attentive mind, that I've never known through song and movement.

How I would love to have my day ordered in Lauds, Matins and Vespers.

Perhaps my hours contain more praise and reflection that I would first assume.

good night.