It may have been his heart-WRENCHING performance in say anything...or the way he sold me on the beta band's "3 ep's" in High Fidelity...or the fact that every character he's played has been a dorky fool-in-love...whatever the case...John Cusack...steals my heart away.
















wait a second.
WHAT IF HE IS THE ONE WHO CALLED!!???!?!?!!!!

MISSED CALL!!!

Somebody called just before dinner...a boy...and my sister told him to call back in half an hour!!
BUT HE HASN'T!!!

Who is he? What did he want? Could we have hung out? Was he a friend I see often, or one I see rarely!?

Was it for a movie? Ice cream? Music? WHY DID HE CALL!!!??!!

BOY, boy, if you are reading, please call again! Dinner is over, and I have NO homework!!!

mister God, this is Melinda.

Sometimes there are friends you have who just...know.
Not much is ever said, but what is in common is rooted in your hearts, and you just know. One day, your paths will intersect, run together for a time, but until then, each time they cross you are thankful once again for their long-distance friendship.

I ran into one such friend tonight. He and his wife, and their family, have blessed me a thousand times more than I deserve. The love they've shown me has been a light in darker times, and their lives are markers in mine. When I'm struggling with something, just barely slogging through each day, I know that they've been here too. Fighting. And I know they're cheering me on, too.

Wow. Praise the Lord for such depth of fellowship.

THE END:
Friday, April 23 @ 2.17pm.
CEDAR 148.

JURY: OVER

LIFE: BEGINNING....now.

My hope is in the Lord who has renewed my strength
when everything seems senseless my hope is still in Him
who has made heaven and earth
and things seen and unseen
Whatever shade of passing day my hope is still in Him.

I am going to Oregon next week, to visit my friend Luke. It's a 9 hour drive. And I can do it alone. But I'm kind of looking for a road-trip buddy. Just in case any of ya'll are interested.

COMMENT!

the end....

I decided not to go to camp this summer, for good reason, and definitely after much time spent asking God about it.
So, I'm fine with that. City summer, could be awesome...there are definitely some people here who I look forward to spending time with.

I had a few camp friends who were going to be staying home as well, and I was so stoked about that. They're good friends too, awesome people, and I was so excited at the prospect of hanging out with them. Still would be. Except...they're not staying home anymore.

Aiiya.

I can't even blame them, I mean...who would stay here...when you can be up there? It's beautiful, the night sky is incredible, you get to spend your summer OUTSIDE, with friends, working, but really, it's chill. And there's the faith aspect too, when it all works together, it can be really uplifting.

It's my God, you know, he's just pushing me to trust him more and more. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a guy this summer who I never would have met, had I been way. Maybe I'll get other incredible opportunities, in ministry, in friendship, or with school and music...things that never would have happened while I was at camp. I actually have a lot of hope in my heart that this summer will be amazing. Seeing prayer answered in the real world context.

NOT HAVING THE BUBBLE TALK...that will be good.

I'm just so sentimental. And when you're in that state of mind, nothing bad filters through. I only remember the good, love-filled, stars and sunset times. The long conversations, hikes in the forest, drinking tea at sunrise (okay...I've never done that), but swimming, tanning, chilling on the field...

Problem is, I think a lot of it is sentiment. A lot of it is remembering the great traditions, but forgetting the Spirit who still moves today. Forgetting that he sometimes does new things. Forgetting that all the great memories in the world don't change a life forever. But meeting the eternal God does.

Anyway, I'll probably spend a few nights crying, missing what has been, wondering what is happening up at camp. And no doubt, I'll go and visit. But I think there's a lesson in continuity, in perserverence, in trust. I'm excited to be here. I'll miss the ones up there. But really...it's only 8 weeks.

If you see me in July and August, bring on the lovin', though. I'll be missing that the most.

Okay folks, that's 6 down, 1 to go. After my jury (@ 2pm on Friday), I will be finished first year, well on my way towards a Bachelor of Music.

*sighs*

Feels pretty good, I'd say.

I know that there's a lot of work ahead of me next year, a lot of polishing, striving for excellence, not goodness. It will require more committment than I ever imagined, so once September hits, I'll be back in hermit mode. But don't worry. I'll make time for YOU, and if you need me...be not afraid to call.

Next week, I look forward to some time with my American friends, and after that...a summer of:
1. FUN (avec mes amis, et ma famille).
2. WORK (to make the money for school!)
3. MUSIC
4. SUNSHINE
5. RENEWAL

Pass the sunblock, mix the tapes, load up the gear...it's time...for....SUMMER!!!!!!

Tonight, en route to asap, I learned the words for Faure's "En Priere".
Beautiful song.

On the way home, I was thinking about some different things, and somehow got wondering about infidelity.
I was wondering about married perons who have affairs, and when their marriages break up, marry the person they were cheating with! That seems strange to me. Granted, I don't get relationships...but I would have assumed that the affair was more about sex than anything else, so...what's there to build a new marriage on?
Or maybe the cheater really wasn't into the marriage at all, and hence the affair was really a new, truly intimate relationship.

I don't know.
Kind of a touchy subject, I guess, but one that knocks me down sometimes. Some of the most amazing families I know have been wrecked by infidelity.

A puzzlement.

and one more thing.

I TOTALLY SCHOOLED MY EXAM.

YEEEEEEEEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

I TOOK IT TO SCHOOL.

BEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

this is latin. i will sing it at my jury. friday.
here:
quia respexit humilitatem
ancillae suae:
ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent.

so it boils down to...

What does that mean, "it all boils down to...[blank]."?

I guess...when you boil something, it's going to eventually reach it's simplest state. I guess.

But ummm....my Music History final is tomorrow. The Renaissance! The Reformation and COUNTER-Reformation!

One thing I'll say about the Renaissance: SUCH beautiful music. Consonant harmonies...the kind that ring in your ears like spring air...oh my goodness.
Just lovely.
My favourite is playing...now.

Orlando di Lasso's "Tristis est anima mea". A Respond written for Maundy Thursday.

OOOOOOH!!!

THose Haloscan ads, found @ the bottom of the comment sections!

You know what I mean?

Yeah. THe one for Bibb's revenge...totally opens infinite Internet Explorers when you try to close it!

NO GOOD.

Music students explain antecedent...GO!

Part 2.
"antecedent dolce collarbone acton resent coy asplenium blurt pessimist alienate torque watercourse ask chimpanzee gore picture forlorn utterance hairpin myosin camouflage cubic bibliography centric chen inconsistent opaque else temptress riyadh gentry carton coon traverse "

best jun-mail title EVER.

why everyone needs a digital camera...or maybe just me.

Today, as I was driving on the #1 to Coquitlam, I saw a head of me...a stream of toilet paper.

WHAT!?

YEs, it's true. A flatbed truck carrying 3 port-a-potties was driving along, with toilet paper flying out of the potty nearest the rear of the truck.

I was LAUGHING...and then I was disappointed.

1. NO CAMERA!!! That would be been...MONEY!
2. nobody else in my car. Funny things are funnier with a friend.

Driving home thoughts, part 1.

I was thinking as I drove home today...and here are some of those thoughts.

I communicate a lot through physical touch/contact. Be it hand-holding, or hugging, or linking arms, or just putting my hand on someone's arm while I'm talking to them...One way I communicate is by touch.

It can also be called a "love language". Those are ways in which you receive, and usually give, love. I think there are four or six all together...six, probably. My primary ones are physical touch, words (so things that are said or written), quality time, and gifts.

Touch is so important to me though. It's a huge part of how I communicate. When I first meet a group of people, like when I started school this year, and I don't yet have friends who I know well enough to hug, I feel SO lonely. I mean, in the most comfortable of situations, I have friends who I can totally walk up to and hug, or snuggle with for few minutes...meh, it's just how I work.

But tonight, for example...no hugs. I was with a friend of mine...we go to concerts together and hang out and stuff like that...but he's totally different, as far as I can tell, in terms of touch. When I'm just with him, I totally feel strange...like I have to hold back those natural tendencies to make physical contact.

I started thinking about all this after he got out of my car...and that was it. Just..."bye". Totally like hearing all of a beautiful song...except the closing note. The experience has been awesome, but suddenly.....

you feel unsettled.

I feel unsettled.

I need a hug. A good, solid, rib-crushing hug. *sighs*

need to goooooooo!

Tonight, I went to the symphony. As I was driving home, I realized...
I HAVE GO TO PEE!!!

But really, with capitals and everything, I HAD TO GO PEE!!!

But...all the gas stations were closed.
And it was midnight...so I didn't want to wake any of my friends (on the way home)...so I just drove, and went when I got here.

BUT...one of the roads I drove on was so bumpy...I held myself up off the seat with my left leg, otherwise...danger.

YEp.

In connection to my job searching post, a cartoon!

the album: Guns, Cars & Sitars
the song: Punjabis, Pimps & Players
the follow-up: Bombay the Hard Way, Vol 2: Electric Vindaloo
the tune: Sexy Mother Fakir

All this thrown together with "Fear of a Brown Planet", and you've got the brilliance of east meets west....

And me, laughing out loud in my computer room.

(thanks aaron)

note: asinine means "extremely stupid or foolish."

There are definitely some things that I know I don't suck at. For instance, I know I can sing, and I can sing well, because of both training, and natural talent. I know that.
I also know that I can read, without much difficulty. I'm not sure what asinine means (although, I will look it up post-haste), but most of the time, I understand what I read. Not only that, but I love reading. This morning, for example, I woke up and read a few essays out of a book my english teacher gave me, before listening to the Vinyl Cafe. (Which was particularily amusing this morning, just in case you were wondering).
I've also tried my hand at writing a few times, most recently for academic credit, and I'm pretty good at that too. Some would say I have a way with...ah yes, words.
I took dance lessons for a long time, so I have decent rhythm, and I can whirl an Irish reel or jig with the best of them.
However, I am not so good at applying for jobs. My palms get sweaty, my words awkward, and incoherent. I'm sure I tremble with fear when I ask, "C-c-c-annnn I d-drop off-ff-ff a r-r-r-r-ee-e-sume?"
AIIIYA!!!
And yet, I am a more than capable potential employee! I've worked in the sweetest of jobs (a bakery), the crappiest of jobs (a crack hotel), and the most draining of jobs (a daycare). I have excellent "people skills", I love to help others, I greet customers with a smile; I am amicable, polite, conscientious, and knowledgeable.
WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO HIRE ME!??!!!
*sighs*
And yet, as I pass out the resumes, I get only a smattering of interviews, and usually they aren't successful. Strangely enough, it's always the jobs my parents tell me about that end up working out, as was the case with both the bakery, and the ymca.
So if you see a "we're HIRING" sign in a store window, give me a comment. Because I will surely apply, albeit with much fear and trembling.

My friend Bryce has had to interview people for the place where he works. He told me interviewers are just as nervous as interviewees, because they are trying to find the perfect fit for their team. Perhaps my next cover letter should read:
"Dear possible employer,
I know that I would be an excellent employee in your store. I will probably seem nervous when we meet, but don't take that too seriously. It's a difficult thing, applying for work. Please don't reject my application just because I'm a full-time student, and can't work all winter. Surely you've been a student too, and know how important it is to have work when you need it, and time to study when you need that too. Let's interview soon--I'd love to meet you and find out what this possible new-to-me workplace is all about. Sincerely, Melinda."

essay....

essay...is....DONE!
(offically @ 1.16am. Woot. I get up @ 6.45am. wooooot :S).

push button publishing...for the people

Two years ago I was camping in the lushness of North Queensland's rain forest, on a property calling Wuringha.
I had blazing ear infections, and I was camping (with 100 close friends) in a mouldy hay field.
NO toilets, minimal running water, lots of rain, and NO DOOR ON MY TENT.
=
recipe for a crappy time.

BUT...I was on my dts, and Mark Parker was speaking. As he spoke, God crept more and more into my heart, and then EXPLODED into my life with power, grace, forgiveness, and glory. And while I wrestled with ants at night, I somehow found rest in being the child of a loving Father.
In 5 days I celebrate the 2nd anniversary of my baptism.
On Saturday, I celebrate 8 years of living committed to Christ.

Sometimes though, I miss the friends who live in California, Michigan, Denmark, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand, Texas, Oregan, Washington, and Missourri.

But it's all good. A little break in the heart makes you stronger.

Tonight, a friend of mine came to see "the tomb" with me @ nsa (a church).
It's an easter play, where the main character is Joseph of Aramathea, a member of the sanhedrin, in whose tomb Jesus was buried.
Cool story and point of view, but it was...well, it was a church production. Good. Community Theatre-esque.

Anyway, when I dropped her off @ home, she said, "someday I'll have to make you come with me into my element..."
That's cool, and fair...and then I was thinking, "hmm...."
What if....well, are we willing to do that? Step into other people's comfort zones the way we expect them to come so willingly into ours?

There was something else that I was thinking about on the way home...and I wanted to tell you about it.
But now I can't remember what it was.
Oh well.

It was good, fo sho...but umm...you'll just have to wait a while longer to hear it.

Oh, question: if you've seen the passion, what do you think of it? Why did you go see it?
And if you haven't seen it, why not? What do you think of it?

HMmm...

Jelly Belly jelly beans are so great.
Especially the mixed ones. They add excitement to your life with each bean!
Unless you get the one that sort of tastes like soap...

blech.

ode to the marmots

The marmots
they attacked at every opportunity
they stole my voice and sanity
they spat on discipline
and scoffed at rules
fuel for arguments and discussions
their cabin housed an atomic stench
(a mouldy pair of nikes proved the culprit)
rather skate than sweep
they ran amuck
for two weeks we battled
nose to nose
and with their named imprinted on the island
they left in their wake a gust of sighs
thank goodness for boys
who else would stir the pot
and send matter flying into fans?

Resist the urge to take offense, because at the base of this I am amused.

It's a difficult time, financially. Tuition's up, movies cost more, so does food and clothing. I understand being broke.

I have saved money for shows and concerts and movies, turning down other offers in order to go with the one I really wanted. If a friend's choir or orchestra or concert band was performing, I'd make plans to go. I'm happy to show support and patronage of my friends and their art.

But apparently choirs are out. The invite to come see Brahm's Reqieum by the Cap College choir has been met with, "ooh...I...umm....good luck with that."

I understand, I do. Classical music isn't everyone's thing, and $15 is kind of steep for a performance you aren't really stoked on. But still I wish there were just one who would take the plunge. Maybe then you'd understand why I haven't been around.

[props to the ash and the andwer who came and listened/napped their way through Gloria and Magnificat at Christmas. and to all who came out to the Sound of Music. Your support and cheering doesn't go unnoticed].