29.12.05

carved out of the forest

Stanley Park seems over-rated (on those gorgeous summer days when you think it'd be a great idea to picnic there, but so does the rest of the GVRD), but it is beautiful.
For those of you who don't live here, I wanted to show it off -- maybe it will strengthen your resolve to come out for new year's 2006/07, and we can ride the Christmas train together.

"A city that has been carved out of the forest should maintain
somewhere within its boundaries evidence of what it once was, and so long
as Stanley Park remains unspoiled that testimony to the giant trees which
occupied the site of Vancouver in former days will remain"
The News Herald - October 30, 1939

That's all for now,
love
m.

27.12.05

i do not think that word means what you think it means.

i was at london drugs with my mom the other day, and i saw some pillows on a shelf. normal enough, they were those pillows that are shaped to better support one's head and neck.

they were called "Cervical Pillows".

yeah.

boxing day.

i kind of boxed with myself today. boxing with ... my heart? i don't know.

i went for breakfast @ the bentall's, which was amazing. amazing because jenny is one of my best friends, because her dad is hilarious, because her food is so good, and her family is great.

talked with jon bentall for a few hours. he's getting married. ok, ok, so i was a tiny bit hearbroken when i heard that. but let's face it, i knew he wasn't for me.



he's so ugly.

the rest of this post would be pretty self-involved....realizing how much i miss home, in how many ways mikael is my best friend, how much i love walking on the beach, and having friends who love my family...

big thanks to aaron braun for giving me the day with mikael.

peace.love.don't get pregnant.

25.12.05

*ding, ding*

Hey All!
I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas (even if you don't celebrate it, have a great day!).
This morning I went to church, where the music was provided by the Appenheimer family -- kind of fun to play with mum, ben and liz.

I'll list my presents for you later, with links (just because that's fun...?), but for now...
I'm glad to be home, in the company of wonderful family and friends.

Thanks to Deanna for the phone call, reminding me of the beautiful people who are still alive and well in Lethbridge (and surrounding areas).

Peace, goodwill to all.

love,
m.

23.12.05

torn.

It's hard to know, from this standpoint, how to negotiate community, and living in 2 cities.

Being back at asap on Tuesday felt like home, but I am coming to know and love and be involved with churches/friends in Lethbridge as well.

Having friends in 2 cities isn't so hard, I can handle that. It's more the church thing.
I really like where asap is going, who's leading it, and the family I have there. I love the flags for dancing, the mood lights, the spontaneous shouts of joy, the awkward straining to stand, or to run or to jump...

So much growth, leading to transition and LIFE. It is something I've been able to totally connect with.

Lethbridge churches...nothing quite exactly the same. That's alright though, I wouldn't want a carbon copy...I don't see how that could be...good.
It's made for an interersting fall though.
I'm involved with 2 churches, at one with young adults/worship, and another just as a go-er. The first is smaller, maybe 200-300 on a Sunday morning? The second has 2 services, each with a couple hundred people, give or take (especially give me a break because guessing based on visual stats is not my strong point...at all).

As if numbers matter.

In the first church, young adults were some of my first friends, definitely some of my dearest. I am being known there, involved with the ministry, have coffee-d with the pastor.
The second church, as a of yet, has led to no meaningful relationships, except the ones I have with my sweet neighbour girls (and MA), and those have definitely been strengthened. Second church is going strong, with a focus and understanding of the work of the Holy Spirit, the importance of missions/evangelism, and a personal relationship with JC.

First church, love the senior pastor, how he speaks and teachers.
Second church, love the welcoming of persons with prophetic giftings.

On and on and on. The point is, I just don't know. Throw in my involvement (and executive position) with IVCF, interest in 'the Gate' (charismatic church, will go in the new year for the first time), and I'm pretty much as scattered in Lethbridge as I was here (BUC (dad's the pastor), asap, rock garden, worship invasion...), but without the rooting of a home community.

It's a post of questions, so let me know what you think. I'm not distraught or disheartened...I'm just wondering.

Merry Christmas Eve.

21.12.05

p.s. on the first day back.

i also got caught in several DOWNPOURS today.

talk about a vancouver welcome -- cheers.

first day home.

today i woke up, so comfy in my bed. i slept peacefully -- barely rumpled the covers.

i ate some breakfast, then drove my dad to work.

came home, and mended mikael's present. (plane incident).

went out, picked up jessica, bought a tunic from OQOQO (it's orange).

picked up zoe, bought groceries for an awesome dinner (me and jess cooked for my family), took zoe home, and then hit the homestead for dinner.

ate the awesome dinner, had awesome conversation on the way to asap, got in on some carols and good words and love.

bought anna's cd, reconnected hearts with friends, drove around listening to anna...cried.

basically -- i can't describe how good today was. i was excited to come home, not for the place, but the people. not the movies and games but the conversation and silence. not the parties and commutes, but the relief of being known.

i also realized how great lethbridge has been -- being accepted for who i am in a time when i couldn't even pretend to be anything else.

today was that and more and less and reminded me of why i love here and you.

20.12.05

awww shucks.

boo-erns...

Out-of-province students studying in Alberta, who filed a 2004 tax return in their home province will NOT be considered Alberta residents, and will NOT receive the $400 resource rebate cheque.

:P

Doesn't really make sense, because if you ARE an albertan, you just had to file a Canadian tax return -- federal tax returns don't change province to province.

IF I had moved to AB to live, I would get it.

BOO-ERNS!!

And also, merry christmas.

buddies who like to drink


shout out to chonger -- seeing me on your blog illicited a gasp of joy and nearly a tear.

good to be here.

(it feels like home to me...)

experiences

westjet:
leather seats (not ucky upholstery).
EXTENDED LEG ROOM (plus only 2 peeps in my row, so empty middle seat = heavenly).
little screens for each seat/satellite tv.
snacks/juice...blah.

guys behind me:
drunk
horny
in vancouver to get laid and buy a car.

Taylor:
made the trip ok.
case is banged up.
i almost cried.
but she's ok.

I'm home. VERY OK. Call me.

19.12.05

disappointed.

I will be home in ... 18 hours.

AHHHHHH!!!

THAT is NOT disappointing.

The disappointment stems from news that I probably won't be able to go visit my dear friend Luke over the Christmas break...he lives in Victoria, and sure it'd be easy to get there, but I'd have nowhere to stay....

*sighs*.


it's gonna be a'ight.

17.12.05

almost shaking

seriously folks.
T minus...41 hours and 45 minutes..

I think...

I'll be home Monday @ 7.13pm your time.

OHMYGOSH.

15.12.05

yelling without sound.

I want to introduce you to a very special lady.

DEANNA MATCHULLIS!!


(she really likes this picture because her hair is long).
It's hard to know what to say, really.
I'd like to find a song to sum up Deanna, but that'd be tough.

One day, after repclass (that's when all my voice teacher's students get together and sing), Dee said "hey, keats camps, my youth pastor spoke there." (I was wearing a Keats Shred Shed shirt that day).

Long story short, his name is Andy, he did indeed speak at keats, and thus Deanna and I were friends.

That day, I think, I saw her walking home...in front of my house...and it turns out she lives 2 doors down! WHAT!?

This lead to adventures in...buying Cinnamon Toast Crunch @ safeway. Dee found this HUGE box, so I bought it, and then I would bring her a bowl every now and then, just to say hi. This also started the ritual of me knocking on her window when I came over...sort of freaked her out, but it was fun nonetheless.

It's because of Deanna that I became a part of the Amazing Race pool (our team, the Godlewski Sisters, totally lost...ugh), and the brilliant succession of Tuesday nights that have highlighted this semester.

Through Deanna I met Mary-ann, Evie, Mel, Steph, Adelle, Andrew, Mike...Reane, Dee's family, River of Life church, Lindsey, IVCF...
and on and on and on and on...

When I met her, I thought about how, being new here, I was really at the mercy of anyone to decide to accept and love me, or to turn me away. She decided to love me, and so did many of the people she introduced me to...the landscape of my life here would look radically different had she not first welcomed me.

*phew*


(Clockwise from top: Melanie Schaan, Evie Taekema, Mary-ann Leitch, Deanna Matchullis).

Deanna's just pretty much what you could call rad.

She likes Strongbad, and my old Ukranian baba accent (shout out to chonger?)...
aaand....she's been an amazing friend to me here.

Dee...thanks for everything. You made my life here worth coming back to. Love you.

this is my life.

hey all.

i found this pic of the south side of the UofL fine arts building. it's from the website, hence all the type.

this is what part of school looked like last week, before the Chinook that melted all the snow, and left us with patches of dirty snow and ice....

and now it's -11 again, so i wish there was snow...

anyway..

PICTURE!

14.12.05

stream of (un)consciousness.

Here's what I remember from my dreams just before I woke up:

I'm in shopper's drugmart, I want to buy this japanese-style tea set, and it's cheap so I will but then it's gone and the guy buying it is having to pay $72 so I guess it's alright. I leave the store, but I'm leaving Super Sam's, and Shopper's is over by the Duke (a bar), which is more normal...
I'm at asap practice, and James is leading, but it's at udac (a church here, and it's going well, so we break for dinner, and I head out with Earl (? I think), and I don't want to go to dairy squeen, and then I'm back in shopper's for the tea-set sequence...
I head back to asap and I'm late! The prayer time is going, so I'm heading that way...I don't recognize the greeters at the door, but then there's Matthew wearing a dark grey army sweater, and he doesn't normally go to asap but he gives me a hug which feels like everything I hoped for in coming home. I just stay there and don't go to the prayer time instead I go upstairs, which turns into a shadow of my room here, and I go back to bed because I'm tired (this is where I'm semi-conscious), so I'm sleeping, then I get a phone call (my alarm going off), and it's this girl (who turns out to be a girl named Joanna from here) saying she's downstairs playing my Taylor on the worship team, and she's scratched it, and she can't even play at all, so I scream for her to put it down, and I get up to run down there, but I'm just wearing pajamas so I have to get changed, but I'm so tired and sluggish, I can't.
I get downstairs and take my guitar back, but it's not a Taylor, and it's not my Taylor, it's a...Fender dreadnought, actually. Maybe not a fender, but anyway, I start playing, or try to, it's hard to plug in because all the plugs are in weird places. James is telling me to hurry or something, but it's not him because he's in Australia...
The powerpoint is smoking so something's wrong and somebody calls my name, and I wonder if it's Matthew but I can't see him, then I see Jon Bentall, but he's on his cellphone trying to call the guy to fix the powerpoint...

THEN I got out of bed (for real) a decided to blog about my bizarre dream, which I will call...."home and back again but not really because nothing was as it usually is."

13.12.05

changes.

TODAY THE WEATHER HAS BEEN...

- a violent snowstorm.
- sunny, no wind.
- sunny and windy.
- cloudy with a little bit of snow.

TODAY I...

- sang my jury with moderate success.
- worked on my orchestration project.
- studied for my theory final.
- check my email lots.
- folded and put away laundry.
- didn't help clean house -- I was studying.
- started reading 'the Chrysalids'.
- practiced (voice).
- listened to music.
- ate 2 meals and a powerbar.

NOW I AM GOING TO...

- go to the gym.
- watch the 2 hour season finale of AMAZING RACE.
- study more theory.
- sleep.

WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?

11.12.05

Franciscan prayer.

May God bless you with discomfort...

at easy answers, half-truths and superficials relationships so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger...
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may

work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears...

to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and wars, so that you may
reach out to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you

can make a difference in this world, so that you can

do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.

10.12.05

what the crap!

I wrote that in my Sociology 1000 textbook when I read this:

"According to Emile Durkheim society has an existence and power of its own beyond the life of any individual. In other words, society itself is godlike, surviving the deaths of its members, whose lives it shapes. Thus, in religion, people celebrate the awesome power of their society."



'nuff said.

more wine?

the internet is so bizarre sometimes.

Since MATTHEW -->

went to the trouble of advertising,


I thought I'd do some too.





here's kate:








here's mike:


They're doing some cool stuff...



Here's evidence:



I decorated my room for Christmas and ate a poptart.

9.12.05

observances.

I'm pretty much a pedestrian in this city -- no more a part of the gas-guzzling, ozone-depleting automobile driven rat race.
It's an interesting position to be in, especially when it comes to WEATHER. For example, last night it was phenomenally windy, one of my first long, powerful wind storms in Lethbridge.
The snow here is very dry and light, so when the wind blows, in moves.
The wind last night piled the snow up into (in some places) 4-foot snowbanks.
Now, a person in a car might not notice how different these snowbanks were from the day before, but I sure did.

WHy?

Because on my way to the bus this morning, I had to run through them!

Landscape Appreciation...the new pedestrian movement.

8.12.05

news flash!

Today, justnow, I sat outside for about 10minutes...not dressed like an arctic traveller.

I think the frozen tundra of Lethbridge is thawing...the windy days of sunshine glory are back.

*Sighs*

no more hardcore prairie girl for me.

7.12.05

almost forgot.

I found 4 CD's of Rikk Watts' sermons in the IVCF office @ school. They're from a national student leadership conference a few years ago.

Neat, hey?

I put one in because I miss hearing the guy speak. Rock Garden...hold out for June. I'll be there!



That was ... I'm leaving.

hmmmmm....

hi.
I'm a little bit stressed out. But not TOO much...just a little.

I had to buy breakfast and lunch at school today...ugh, gong show.

On Friday, 325's (house 2 doors down) justin timberlake marionette was all tangled up. Andrew (the one with the niece) couldn't untangle him, so I gave it a shot...and I did it.
Andrew said he has a whole new respect for me now...it's a big step forward in our relationship.

TRUE STORY.

I'm exhausted and all a shooken up.



This is my young adults group, called Connections, from University Drive Alliance Church.

Yep.

That's us.

6.12.05

ha!

I definitely walked home today.

-16 degrees Celsius, plus windchill (or minus windchill...ie actually colder than -16).

Hardcore? Yes, I believe that is appropriate.

3.12.05

visuals.








here.
look.
listen?
feel.

cbc opens my eyes.

cbc.ca/docs

Tonight was "SEX SLAVE$".

brutal. I will try not to use profanities.

500,000 women are trafficked into the international sex slave industry each year. This documentary focussed on women from Moldavia (I think), Ukraine, and other parts of former Soviet Union. The women in the story were trafficked to Turkey, England, and Toronto, Canada.

In Canada, there is an exotic dancer/stripper visa program. Isn't that great? Women can be trafficked here, completely within the law! A new life in Canada, as a sex slave. I really think we should advertise this as part of our tourism industry, this beautiful program that gives such a wonderful opportunity to impoverished women. Who have been manipulated, lied to, and often kidnapped. Women who will be beaten, raped, tortured, sometimes to death.

SO. What do I do now? With this information? Knowing that there are women my age, being tricked into sex slavery by traffickers (some of whom are also women!) who will take advantage of...

Women from the poorest countries in the world, who only want to provide for their families by sending home a few hundred dollars a month, and they end up being prostitutes.

Women from Ukraine often end up in Turkey, and when they are discovered in brothels during police raids, they are treated as prostitutes, and illegal immigrants. They are sent back to their homes, where the traffickers come and pick them up, and re-sell them to some other dirty pimp, where their hellish existence will continue without interruption.

And what is it that women's "rights" activists fight for here? The right to choose abortion? Oh, grand. The right to equal pay? To equal educational opportunities? Standing in solidarity with women around the world who are being oppressed, of course. Clearly. Rallies of solidarity and peace songs and nudity (freedom!), so meaningful to a woman being raped 50 times a day.

Seething, is how this should read. Completely seething with anger and frustration and hatred and bold, bold cynicism.

Do you want to know who I'll be voting for? For the politician who has the brain and guts, conviction and integrity to stand up and shut up and effin' do something beyond wasting his or her breath and my time playing games of mud throwing, name calling, and crap.

2% tax decrease? Please.
Take 2% of our taxes and send it to African nations who are being devastated by AIDS.
Send it to China, to help the underground church.
Send it to Ukraine, send a team, start an organization to end poverty.
Food to Canadian children who go hungry.
Send it to India, break the cycle of lies that keep the Dalit as lower than second class citizens.
Shut down and rescue women from one brothel.
Apologize to Canadian Aboriginals, who carry an inheritance of oppression. Admit that WE WERE WRONG. Inquiries and conclusions and judge's decisions mean NOTHING when racism continues to be kept neat and tidy in a glass box called "institution".
To chinese immigrants, forced to live in underground tunnels beneath the streets of moosejaw.
Buy out a sweatshop in a small community in Bangladesh, build a school for the children, pay the workers money that will bring meaningful life...
And at the risk of being too lazy to do anything ourselves, give money world vision, redcross, christian children's fund, christian medical mission (meds for lepers)... some people have hearts and understanding of what the world needs. They'll do all the work.

These tax cuts are supposed to mean $4 billion dollars? Or $4 million?

All this scandal about wal-mart, using child labour. They're doing the "honourable, right" thing, and cutting ties with these factories. BfreakinS. Stay with the factories, provide education for the kids, real wages for the workers...as long as you're there, freakin' wal-mart, you might as well make a difference.

Oh wait...that would mean...sacrifice. Loss of profits. Work. Mmm...sorry, no. Too messy.

Oh, you better believe I'm honest, and angry, and determined. I will change one damn thing in this world if it kills me.

Watch out.

2.12.05

stupid short-term memory

Ok kids, I had this great blog idea, and then I forgot about it.
And just now, eating ma dejeuner, I remembered...and now I've managed to forget again.

SLICK?

I think so.

Thus, in lieu of my awesome post....you get this crap-post, consisting of me berating my memory for being what it is.

IN other news, I had to use the downstairs shower this morning. I used a little bit of someone's 'hemp bodywash', and it smells really strong, and is making me sneeze.


Choir concert tonight. Watching out...for greatness. And also...I don't have to be in stupid Vox Musica anymore. Argh. Hooray.

Ok. Well. Bye.

1.12.05

lethbridge frustrations.

ARGH!

I am a music major, and often my assignments require me to listen to music.
The library here has a decent CD collection...BUT WAIT....WE CAN'T BORROW CD'S FROM THE LIBRARY!!!!!

ARgh.

So I'm bringing my computer to school so I can rip music from the library.

--

Still no meaningful snow plough action around here. Not that it matters to me. I walk everywhere.

--

(not frustrating).
My friends surprised me last night...in the best way. I was having a difficult day...and as I walked to school for an evening concert, I was...
anyway, I got to school, and they'd saved a seat for me! Such a small, but awesome thing.

--

There was something else, but I don't remember what it was.
I'm heading into the orchestration project of doom, right alongside the theory project of doom.

--

peaceout.