for the peace of leigh.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!


hello.

I'm back from keats for a day, and hence...a post! yay.

It's an...interesting...time so far. My dexterity with a vegetable peeler is increasing, and I'm getting up early early early every morning.

I need to go shopping today.
- jersey sheets
- big fluffy duvet
- chocolate
- nothing else.

Well. That's all for now. I guess I'll write again soon. I certainly have more to say, so I'll write some extra posts to tide you over.

love, melinda

pondiferous.

WHO NEEDS shelter FROM THE STORM?

NOT ME!!!
no.


not anyone.

there's no 'C' in billie holiday! (holliday?)

I organize my cd's like my inside organizer would like to organize my whole life. Or, inner compulsiveness shows on the outside.

ANYWAY...

CD's are alphabetical, then chronological.

SO THEN what was 'billie' doing in amongst the 'c' cd's?


HMMMMMMM!?!?!?!


WHO HAS TAMPERED NOW MUST PAY!!!!

mmmmmm....swiss army hemp bracelet.

IS THERE ANYTHING CUTER IN THE WORLD THAT A ONE-AND-A-HALF YEAR OLD GIRL WITH RED HAIR AND BIIIIIIIIIG BLUE EYES...ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE IS WEARING A FIREMAN HELMET????












no?
good.
i didn't think so.

of endless hidden treasures.

my heart broke when i heard this story.

i will definitely be adopting a child one day. there's a point to go on "the list" of things my future husband should be or have or whatever. i want my husband to also have his heart broken for abandoned children.

that's today.
forget my problems.
PROBLEMS!? what problems.

kids are born with AIDS in thailand (and everywhere else...) every single day. if i can love one of them in my lifetime, that will be...

beyond...words.

it's a ywam thing.

Oh goodness, goodness, goodness me.

I'm mostly posting right now because my friend JESSICA is going to start reading my blog...which will be most exciting.

MOST EXCITING.

Well now it's T-minus 6 days. T-minus? Does that mean Time-minus? I'm not really sure...but what I do mean is that I'm leaving for Keats on June 20. That's in 6 days.

Jess, I feel funny writing this now, but I will anyway because I love you.
I've got this Lethbridge thing happening...and when I was there for my audition, and at other points along the way I've totally felt peace about going there...and then last weekend I was thinking about it, and God definitely spoke to me about getting other folks to be praying with me about it, and just to...to not default to going there just because it seems the right and wise decision. I mean...hmm...
I have to give this computer back and don't have lots of time to finish this post...so I'll get back to you.

love. do it.

s-a-t-i-s-f-i-e-d.

I just won a game of (computer) solitaire...with a score of 700. Not my highest ever, but such a clean number...I've been aiming for it for a while now. Heh.

ALSO just won a game of FreeCell...good times, good times.

But what's really on my mind is this "where to go to school" business. I went to my brother's high school valedictory ceremony last night. McNair's 32nd annual...
This one talented, bright, motivated young man (martin, is his name) walked out with probably $50,000 in awards and schlarships (assuming the governor general's bronze medallion is about $20,000).
And there were all these kids, the other scholarship winners, who have career goals -- chartered accountanting, dentistry, pharmacology, business, commerce, entrepreneurial pursuis...
I finished high school 5 years ago, and I have a Diploma in Music...

So that's not too impressive.

But in thinking through the last 5 years of my life, I have to conclude that I don't really care who is or isn't impressed. I can't even pump myself up enough to impress anyone.

In the end, however, I'm not trying to impress anyone. When I talk about going to Australia, I try and make it sound so cool, but in light of other adventures you can have there, my time with YWAM pales frightfully. At least when you're looking at it the way the world does. In another sense, it was rich beyond comparison.
I went there to find God, because I needed to. I couldn't force myself into anything else, I had to find him. When I thought about school, my mind and heart went blank -- no program, no "field of study", nothing about it appealed to me. There was just this dull, pulsing ache, the need to know the one whose fingerprints I supposedly bore.

So I went, I sought, I listened, I fought, cried, prayed, danced, sang...and found. Or was found? The language of intimacy doesn't often become words, but I can try. All that stuff about softly spoken words in the secret place...in a rush and a tumble it all began to make sense, in ways I wasn't even aware of.
And now -- now it just continues. Closer, and closer, and closer. Sin more painful, grace more deeply received, repentance quickly over with, wisdom more secure in my heart, hands more easily thrown open in surrender -- and all of it, just this incredible adventure that I get to live each day.

I'll be more bold, and make more mistakes. No doubt I'll continue to offend, and be forgiven by, those closest to me. My words will fumble out in broken sentences, and my hands will fail to serve. But also, I will grow. I will sing louder, and stronger, I will chase after what I want, running hard and fast when my legs have given out, giving a shout as I cross the immediate finish line.

So there it is. The question still remains, where to go to school? The worries are there...friends, money, stuff, blah...
but the truth is that my Father knows me, he said so himself. And he has my heart, more and more each day. I turn away sometimes, but that stings so much, because I'm looking at his face. He renews a right spirit in me everytime I feel that anguish of distance, and then we walk on, one step at a time.

Anyway. I should go.

tear my ribs apart and let the sun inside.

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you-especially when you are near me,
as now:
it is as if I had a string somewhere
under my
left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to
a similar string situated in the
corresponding quarter of your
little frame.
And if that boisterous channel, and
two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us,
I am afraid
that cord of communication wil be


snapt;
and then I've a
nervous notion I should take to bleeding
inwardly.

As for you,-









you'd forget me."

- jane eyre (spacing by me)

sooooooooooooo DIS-oriented.

june 20 --> to keats.
september --> to alberta.

unless we hang out soon, i might not see you until christmas.

no seriously.

it's...mmm...huge?

woah. numbness. yes.

I went for a run on the sea wall today. My friend Katie lives downtown, so I met her there and we ran together.

WOAH!

We fully kept each other at a way faster pace than either of us usually go...which was totally good. I haven't really been pushed to run THAT hard because I run alone mostly.

Anyway...now I have to go to work, but I'm totally spent.

Also...I took some asthma meds before I ran (read: inhaler), and...I don't know that they have a terribly positive effect. Affect? Effect?

Whatevs.

Love.

donchanoooooooh.

This morning, I was driving home from Surrey, and I reeeeeeeally had to pee. And I found that, I could hardly think about anything else. The full bladder was so distracting.

Even now I have to pee again, and I'm typing extra fast, and just trying to get this over with so I can go!

ah!
bye.

UBC says...

Dear Ms. Appenheimer,

Congratulations and welcome to UBC! We are pleased to offer you admission to your second choice, the Bachelor of Arts program at UBC Vancouver for the 2005-2006 Winter Session, beginning September.

The University is pleased to offer you the TREK Excellence Scholarship starting in September. It includes a $2000 scholarship and an early registration date.

...

Once again, welcome to UBC. We wish you every success in your studies and hope that you enjoy the many opportunites UBC has to offer.

Sincerely,

UBC.




(and no, this is not a joke. I fully received this letter in the mail this morning...In the words of new Canadian hall of fame inductee, Alanis Morisette, "isn't it ironic?")

my hometown.

I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face,
with a touch of my father, just up around the eyes.
And the sound of my brother's laugh...
more wrapped up in what binds our ever-destined lives.

the management

I talked to the dean of admissions for music, and he said that my audition today was more about studio (private lesson placement) than acceptance. So basically...I'm in. The official word will come in a week, so I'll post the definitelynotchanginghereitisthefuture word then, but for now..

FOR NOW...


FOR NOW!!

word on the street is = I'm moving to Lethbridge.

detour

highway 97 north
highway 24 east
highway 5 south

2 hours later, back on track.

just outside banff, "following too close" ticket, and an rcmp who taught me a lesson by taking 30mins to ticket me up.

goooooooooooood greek food at night.

good times all round.

home soon.

[ l o v e ]

sometimes, you just know.

Sometimes, you just know you're being talked about...usually in a bad way.

Sometimes, you just know your manager isn't pleased with you, and that now would be a good time to find another job (or move to alberta).

Sometimes, you know just your SIN number, but not being able to find the card makes you rather nervous.

Sometimes, you just know you should be at peace, but you're nervous like a chicken in a fox's lair.

Sometimes, well...sometimes, you just know.