stones taught me to fly.

The headlines read: COLLEGE STUDENT ENTERS SUDDEN VEGETATIVE STATE!!!

Today, a 22-year-old college dropped to the floor, in a heap of unintelligible ramblings. It is believed that she was fed, or somehow otherwise ingested a toxic substance, causing her to lose all intellectual function. Classmates say that she has not yet returned to normal, though some of her speech functions have returned. When asked what happened, the student grimaced, and replied, "I forgot to bring an extra dose of sudafed to school with me."
Yes, another tragic incident of...sudden mucus-flooded-sinuses.

The moral of the story: always have the drugs you need on hand.