i can't believe i'm quoting a facebook.com wall post, but...it made me smile (part 2 of ...)

I wrote this on my friend's wall on facebook when he said "how is school? what are you learning?"
I went a little beyond strictly "scholarly" lessons, but life is all about learning, so I still answered the question.



what am i learning?
hmm.
religious group dynamics, and lots of stuff about the sociological study of church. it's kind of disorienting actually, but it's good. makes for a lot of conversation material, when people are interested in wrestling stuff through their minds with me.
i'm learning that the opera world is anything but fair, so you take the opportunites you're given, and then ask for more.
i'm learning that through the way i'm singing, the way i interact with my teacher, i have the chance to change some major things in my life, and to change the way i present myself the world, the way i take on challenges, and the way i live - either just doing what is necessary, or going beyond to discover all the things i can do.
i'm learning that loneliness has many forms, as does friendship, and you have to roll with what you have, not wasting time and tears pining for what you don't.
the weather in lethbridge is unpredictable. never pack up the snow gear. :)

things that make me smile. (par 1 of...)

aaron & mikael.



singing in the opera.


ife's hair.



taylor.



beautiful beaches on sunny days.



tyler & danielle & mary-ann & my blue scarf.



tyson & his curly hair & his aviators.



ben making a grumpy face. grr!


dave delnea's photography.



elizabeth starring in HONK!



celebrations on atiu, cook islands.



ballet shoes.



nelson mandela's smile!



memories of my college days.



pictures of the moutains by deanna.

is this a good thing?

i now have 401 friends on facebook.com

James 1.27 and beyond.

"Religion that God our Father accepts
as pure and faultless
is this:
to look after orphans & widows
in their distress &
to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."















[the world that rejects the ones who need
the world that speaks "worthless" and "unwanted"
the world that says "you have no place here"
the world that says "no room"
no room in inns, hearts, memories, agendas, pursuits, schedules
no room for anything broken.
the world that tears up, burns & tosses away --
from this world keep yourself pure.
too broken to know
too broken to heal
too broken to see
too broken to love.

this is the world that needs to know, to see, to hear, to feel, to believe that it is not forgotten].

you're married now, so i'll say good-bye. (with a tear in my eye?).

I was with some friends the other night, chattin' it up about life, love, Jesus, and the messy things that happen when people love each other in friendship or otherwise.

We (single folk) got to talking about the predicament that is presented when another single friend, of the opposite sex, gets engaged, then married, and the friendship is OVER. Or that would seem to be the pattern.

I can think of...5 guy friends who I have really lost contact with since they got married. Not from a lack of seeing them around, but more from a lack of knowing how to continue being friends..

The other night I started to realize, to wonder, if continuing those friendships would be the right thing to do. Obviously, things naturally change -- it's weird for a single girl and a married guy to spend a lot of time hanging out -- but do they have to end completely? Is that one of the sacrifices a married person makes -- letting go of friendships that would seem in appropriate, in the eyes of their spouse & other people?

It's heartwrenching for me, because this summer a very dear friend of mine is getting married, and I am dreading his disappearance from my life. It's not as though our friendship has been especially intimate, but it has been very precious to me, and I'm afraid of how much it will hurt to lose that entirely.

How do I even approach that? Can I talk to him about it? Can I say, "hey, I'm scared to say good bye to you -- is there a way for us to still be friends? Do you still care about me? Does you wife want to be friends with me too?" And what if she doesn't? Well, it's just...goodbye.

In a friendship where, "I love you" has been exchanged, how do you will yourself to accept the end? (when I say love, think...not eros. Maybe agape? Although that expects nothing in return...)



I'm sure there's and etiquette that I'm supposed to know, but I'm sure all ye blog readers are well aware that emotional stoic-ness isn't my forte -- this is something that has happened now too often for me to give a simple shrug of my shoulders as I heave a woeful sigh -- I need to know what to do with this.

almost...over...

a week of classes.
3 exams.
no jury.
a flight home.
a drive to lethbridge.
a drive home.
get a job.
pay the bills.
i'll be home. at home. at rest?

from in medias res...or rather, their blog.

I stared at the vines and said nothing. I was prey to sudden doubt. Is it possible that a man can live for nearly half a century noticing one side only of the person who shares his life? Can it be that, from long habit, he picks and chooses from among her gestures and her words, keeping for use only those that feed his grievances and perpetuate his resentments? There is a fatal tendency in all of us to simplify others, to eliminate in them everything that might soften the indictment, give some human lineaments to the caricature which our hatred craves in order to justify itself...

Louis.
(from Francois Mauriac's The Knot of Vipers)

umm....professionals?

So, I'm watching this "NEW" broadway taping of Jesus Christ Superstar...and it totally pales in comparison to the Norman Jewison (1970's) version.

I mean, the guys in the original movie were pretty incredible, but this version is weak sauce.

I have a quasi-analysis of some of the voices, but I'll not share it just now.

Instead, an entry from a photoblog I found a while back.

good friday.

i'm exhausted.
this week has been full of late nights and pushing to meet deadlines and juggling today's reality with tomorrow's hope.

i bought my flight to nyc (july 3-10) not yet having secured a summer job. the ticket was a ridiculously low price so i had to do it.
well "had" to...

anyway.

this weekend promises some much needed alone time, as well as some wonderful friend time (including lots of free easter food).

ahhh it's bedtime.

so peace out, enjoy good friday...reflect, ponder, or just build a snowman.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Kasey Glenn Weirmeier celebrated his VERY FIRST birthday on Thursday, March 29, 2007. Collectively, we celebrated this magnificent occasion on Friday, March 30, 2007.

Here's evidence.

I know you're not supposed to date drummers, but...

[PS dave matthews just said "i like that line, 'i'm gonna shoot you up again' -- it's somewhere between sex and being saved".]

{?}

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I CAME HERE TO POST ABOUT!!!

I came to tell you that GLOBAL DRUMS @ the U of L tonight was...beyond phenomenal. I actually know don't any english words to express just how it made me feel.

I don't know what it is about DRUMS and DANCE that makes us want to participate, want to rock-out, want to...freakin' GET UP OFFA THAT THING and DO SOMETHING...but it's powerful. POWERFUL.



And these kids tonight are incredibly talented. We had African Drumming, Caribbean-style drumming, STEEL BAND, a little taste of Japanese Drumming...with piano, kit, shakers, congas -- pretty much every percussive instrument known to..man? Well, a lot of them anyway.

And the pinnacle of the evening for me had to be...Kyle Harmon onstage alone, rockin' his drum kit...the curtains slowly opening to reveal 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!!! 7 more drum kits! EIGHT DRUM KITS ONSTAGE SIMULTANEOUSLY! THEY were tiiight, they were slick, they were smooth -- pretty much the 8 most attractive people on earth.

And that, my friends, is why you don't date drummers, because...your judgement flies away when you hear them play.



Also, check out dave matthews band and their new album stand-up -- they worked with a rap producer, who plays EVERYTHING, so the album is a treasure chest of shiny beautiful jewels.
I'm pretty sure I'll work with him next time I record.

HA!

welcome to Confessions.

What do you think of when you sit down to a evening of performance by a Bible school choir?

I think of cheesy christian songs, an emphasis on being good and gracious, grateful and happy, joyful and overflowing - in general, an evening full of the cleanliness of Christendom. Woo...



Do you think of confession? Would you expect to hear and see, feel and experience moments of embarrassment, shame, joy, hope and amazement? Would you expect to be brought to tears by a confession of anger, shame, or addiction?

No.

Tonight I was surprised out of my pew by a group of kids from Canadian Lutheran Bible Institute, who brought all these things to the stage and so much more. It was incredible to see my hopes an dreams for community being drawn out in front of me.

It's moments like these that the cynicism fades to, I must confess, little more than insecurity, fear and loneliness.



Here's a quotation from the program:

"Everything in spiritual community is reversed from the world's order. It is our weakness, not our competence, that moves others; our sorrows, not our blessings, that break down the barriers of fear and shame that keep us apart; our admitted failures, not our paraded successes, that bind us together in hope.

[But it can be terrifying to be this vulnerable.] It seems weak, so unnecessary, so morbid and self-criticizing. But we are all wounded and we've all been failed. We protect our wounds with all the fierceness of a lioness watching over her cubs. And because it is nearly impossible to see who we are as separate from those wounds, we think we are protecting our selves when in fact we are preserving our wounds.



A spiritual community, a church, is full of broken people who turn their chairs toward each other because they know they cannot make it alone. These broken people journey together with their wounds and worries and washouts visible, but are able to see beyond the brokenness to something alive and good, something whole."

-- Larry Crabb, The Safest Place on Earth

Church of England...by Eddie Izzard.

THIS ONE...is quite funny. I think it could be shown in my sociology class *hint, hint, Erin...*

He's talking about Church of England IN England, not in North America, so don't ya'll get too offended.



Enjoy!

introducing...eddie izzard.

Christmas & Easter...eddie izzard style.

saphire and faded jeans.

corinne bailey rae is my new favourite artist. just so you know.

i've been thinking about spending a lot of money this summer, and i'm not sure if i can afford it, but i'm also not sure if i want to give up those plans.

here it is.

- mark camp, last week of june (it's an ivcf mini-conference. no idea of the cost).
- new york city, first week of july (rent-free, the city of a million dreams...)
- woodsong music festival, orcas island, july 19-22. i might even get to play and sing.
- August 5, mike & stephanie's wedding reception in Airdrie, AB (this in place of flying to the wedding in new mexico).
- August 18, Evie & Kevin's wedding in Okotoks, AB (this isn't optional).
- buy a car (this would be so fantastic for my grad year in lethbridge -- oh, taste the freedom...the "downside" is that i'd have to maintain an almost full-time job while in school...but i only have to take 7 classes next year).

i'm fully willing to take on 2 jobs this summer, no problem with that. i probably won't go back to stanley park's fantastic kitchen, because that much time off is completely impractical.



that's my story -- thanks for reading, ya'll.

this was too good not to re-post.

hey ya'll.

Since transferring to the U of L, my course load has been IMPOSSIBLY light (I hesitate to post this here, for fear that someone will find out, and assign me 26 more classes before I graduate). BUT, before I even entertained the thought of transferring to this academic heaven-land, I was @ Capliano College, buried by assignments and readings...

link here to read the poem of my well-burdened and studious self:
I used to live in the library nook.

extravagant.

extravagant.

It's such an incredible word -- the sound of it speaks of the riches it seeks to describe.

This has been an interesting few days. On thursday, I had coffee with Troy, and he spoke some words that really shot through the fog I've been feeling lost in.

(picture that? good).

Honestly though, it was pretty incredible, to begin to see with such clarity over the span of an hour, spent sipping chai in starbucks.



There may be more on the details of the revelation later...for now, I will say that I'm ready to move from panic/survival mode, into really living.

I don't feel like staying online long enough (today) to really write about what that is, but since most of you readers know me, I'm sure you'll begin to see it unfolding.

:)

according to wikipedia...

this should tell you all about me!



thank you, wikipedia.

:)

refreshing.

the wind has been blowing with great strength for about 13 consecutive hours now.

it's refreshing.

the image of the wind rushing in to blow away the last dredges of winter chill and tiredness...

this morning MA, Mel & I led worship @ Lethbridge Christian School's 9am chapel! woohoo, singing @ 9am...

it was really cool to be there with those kids, and hear them singing...I realize how cynical I've become, and in that, starved for meaningful fellowship, for any kind of deep, fulfilling spiritual connection. it's a deadly loop, cynicism, and I suppose I'll have to get out of it. :)



we went for a long walk in the coulees (or, more accurately, along the river bottom), and it was SO beautiful -- I really do love spring. the metaphors of renewal and regrowth seem cliche until you're walking in them, soaked in sunshine, refreshed by the breezes...

it's a beautiful thing.

it's been a weird day, yo.

I totally slept through church this morning. My alarm went off in time to catch the 9.20 bus, then again in time to catch the 10.00 bus...but I just wasn't into it.

Is that weird?

At home, I ususally feel guilty (or convicted) when I think about sleeping through church -- maybe it's because my whole family is there...

Anyway, I was pretty ok with it today. Except that I think I was supposed to go over tomorrow's worship songs with MA and Mel -- *sighs*.

The heretic within me grows...

I've had a couple mini-'lectures' this week from people who think I should be at certain prayer or worship gatherings more often. It kind of bugs me because these particular people haven't taken a whole lot of time to try and know who I am, in matters of faith or otherwise, so their rebukes or lectures or assumptions and expectations are sort of empty -- no ground to stand on.



In addition to that, I'm reading this book for sociology of religion called: Acts of Faith: explaining the human side of religion.

Now, the cool thing about this book is that the authors recognize that God (or god) could very well exist, while previous sociologists of religion went from the assumption that God (of god) does not exist, so all religious people are irrational.
The hard thing about it is reading the scientific observations made of religious groups...it has me questioning the necessity or purpose of the formality of the Church organization...that part of the whole christian culture is very human.

I've got a paper due tuesday, 8-10 pages, about chapter 6 of the book: Religious Group Dynamics.
It's supposed to be a research paper, but I haven't read any of the author's sources yet...so the rest of today will be spent at the library.

Like I said, it's been a weird day, yo.