these are not my shoes.

I would like to be friends with k-os. Kevin. I think that we could be great friends.

I don't think that I like "the bachelor" -- everything about it seems wrong. The false romance, the heartbreak...entertainment made of pain. I don't like it.

"the office" is a pretty funny show. Jim's new office is niiice, and he got totally hammered in in tonight. Mhmm.

My left ankle is still sprained, and my knee definitely hurts sometimes. I'm not a big fan of that. Ligament injuries. Who needs 'em?

I need to be a more proactive component of my healthcare. I'm working on it. I'm going to the chiropractor tomorrow. So that'll be fun. :S

Columbiahouse Music Canada thinks I owe them money -- I disagree. I am contesting, with a letter.

Seriously though...I think me and k-os could hang out.

peace.

a blog of note.

Brett introduced me to this blogger.

It's good stuff. About religious christianity, will probably sound familiar to those of you who read donald miller, or who know dave ward.

check it out.

here's a clip:

Truly you are a God who hides himself.
Isaiah 45:15

To Whom It May Concern,

I’ve heard it said that the earth is filled with your glory. Now I don’t claim to be a master of insight, but it seems to me that your glory is anything but pervasive down here. In fact, I’d say it’s downright difficult to find anything remotely qualifying as glorious, at least these days. Sure, there are those every-so-often sunsets and the relentless shush of the ocean shore—and, okay, a starry starry night’s pretty cool too—but if that’s what they mean by God’s glory then I’d have to say it’s a pretty limited concept. At best it’s an impressive backdrop where, as poet Matthew Arnold wrote, “ignorant armies clash by night.”

I’ve heard it said that humankind is your crowning achievement. I find this flattering, but even less convincing. It’s not so much that our species is demonstrably wicked (the Fall implies we can’t hold you accountable for everything); still, even among the so-called “saved,” the power of carnal inclinations seems far more influential than the “imparted righteousness” mentioned in your promotional material. Perhaps this righteousness is more of an ideal than a working principle. At any rate, the human landscape suggests many things, but divine glory isn’t one of the things that comes to mind.

oh the power.

my friend hannah is here because her power got turned off -- it'll be back on tomorrow, but she needs to watch the Bachelor TONIGHT, so she's here.

saturday night, some friends and i watched "the family stone" and then read "who POOPED in the park?" by Gary D. Robson (illustrations by Elijah Brady Clark)...which may be the best/worst book ever.



CHECK IT OUT!!!

questions.

High Fidelity is probably one of my top 5 favourite movies to watch (of all time), but I'm not sure why. There's swearing (so, objectionable language), scenes of sexuality (which can be awkward)...well, I guess that's it as objections go, but a significant part of the movie contains "objectionable content", and yet...top 5!

Is that weird? Wrong? Have you seen it? What did you think?

Secretly, I'd love to be a nerd who owns a bag designed to carry vinyl...but I don't....maybe that's my love of the movie...who knows...anyway...here's some art..

?

to dream mid-day, even while napping, is spectacularly disorienting. disorientating. umm. confusing.

pink helmet -- the return!

I just got back from a one hour bike ride, and OH IT WAS GLORIOUS!!!

I was cold, and I wandered around the west side, pedalling and pedalling and pedalling...

I forgot how much I love biking. When it's just a means of transportation, it's not so fun, and I forget to just spend time exploring.

Ahhh....refreshed, awake, alive. Thank you, Lord.

yo!

TARA FROM the BLOCK!

She' my friend.

And she basically has revolutionized the world of blogging with this post -- you should definitely check it out.

here's some photo love, from camp2july2006.

chasing.

I don't quite know how to say what I feel.
Those three words are said too much --
they're not enough...



if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me
and just look at the world?

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden
that's bursting into life.







let's waste time chasing cars around our heads
I need your grace
to remind me to find my own.

if I lay here
if I just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?




all that I am
all that I ever was
is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see.

I don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things were never changed for us alone.

1,200 posts later...

Today was...early. I mean it started early. EARLY!!! Maybe 6am isn't that early, except that I went to sleep after 1am...peaceful, but insomniatic-esque.

The weekend was pretty intense, but for reasons more appropriate to conversation than bloggersation -- so call me. :)

here's a little pictoral introduction to mandy, here with ryan and lynn flowers.



Good people -- mandy was a new best friend this summer (added to the circle of love), and I miss her a lot. She's pretty fantastic.

My visa bill is huge right now -- not quite matched by my salary, but we'll see what happens. I am accepting donations, just in case you were wondering. I know money can be a burden, and I am all about lifting your burdens, friend.

love & asparagus.

welcome to the new me...err...blog.

this is...blogger beta.

it may change our lives.

i can't figure out how to put a picture of me over on the side...but we'll work it out.

mmm...it's saturday.

top 10 list of today. :)

1. hug dee in the am. love the downthehallbestfriend.
2. mmm...brush my teeth.
3. long breakfast with new friends.
4. msn the mandy. bestfriends are best.
5. nap time!! whaaaaat's happening.
6. plans! lynnae plans, jayda plans, party plans -- I love plans. Also PLANS by deathcabforcutie.
7. the sweetness of talking with zoe, heart outside my heart.
8. crisp, cold air and me walking in it! fantastic.
9. everything will be ok.
...
10. sunburst. there's a lot of cloud cover today, but as the sun is setting, it gets below the clouds and SHINES! Beautiful.

how could we not adore thee?

HELLO!

GOOD MORNING!!

O COME, let us adore him, Christ the Lord!

It's a new day -- and time to do some livin'!!!

BE BLESSED!!!

maybe i should just stick to blogging...?

I found this in the blog archives...at first I thought I must've quoted it, but it appears that I wrote it myself.

Sweet.

a beautiful letdown:

We can't write people off just because they don't "know" Christ. It is often those who haven't been taught how to think about God who think, speak, feel and live him the most profoundly. At times, it is the burden of theology, exegeting and hermeneuting, which keeps us from true intimacy, and simple truths.

We can say that God works in mysterious ways, as long as those ways don't include too much wine and cigarettes, dirt and skateshops, mess and ugliness. There is richness in a life lived in the chaos of grace, and a wealth in amongst the potholes of a difficult road. That's where the view is the best--when you come to the right spot in a valley, where you can see the sunrise, and realize that your eyes may be the first to see this part of evaporating night.

Maybe there is more redemption in a sunrise than in seeing eyes.

We take too much credit for building and deciphering this mystery. Really, it is the truth being revealed to us, little by little. Through a tattoo, or a spoken word, a prophet or a manic street preacher, a parmedic or a concrete pourer--he can speak and appear anywhere, in and through anyone. For his purposes cannot be cut off, or his voice and power silenced.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there IS freedom. Relax and be relieved that you don't have to worry about where that is.

HEY!

YEAH YOU!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are the proud owner of a HOROPTER!!

WOOHOO!!!!

a good high school memory!?

I had a friend in high school named ryan. We were in acting and stagecraft together, I think in grades 11 and 12. He had transferred from another school, and was this totaly bad ass, but we had a sweet friendship.

I don't really remember how or when it started, but I know we had a lot of fun in class together, learning how to build sets, and totally screwing up, and hoping that nobody fell through out platforms. Well, that was mostly me, and he'd fix my mistakes.

There are a couple of memories I have that are really precious though, and I'm thankful for them (because high school rememberances are generally not all that fond for me).

The one I'll share here happened just after I performed my one-woman-show (Grade 12 final acting project). It was so intense guys -- I'm not sure I even kept the script. It was a daring write for me, because I dove into dark places in my heart and mind, and wrote a script that frightened even me. It was the first time in my life where I laid myself bare, and the only time that I've done so with such intensity, and in front of an audience.

I didn't rehearse the piece, even though it had a dance component -- I knew exactly what it would be like. I knew it so deeply, and I just went onstage and did it.

When I finished, I was weeping, and when I walked off stage, ryan was there and...he was there.

I haven't seen him in years, and although I would love to, I'm ok with him being a friend from high school. I hadn't thought about him for a while, but sometimes it's good to remember the good stuff.

imogen heap!

'Hide and Seek'

Where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only
just begun to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking feeling


Spin me round again
and rub my eyes
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy


Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first


oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before
the takeover
the sweeping insensitivity
of this
still life


Hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
Blood and tears
They were here first


mm what d'ya say?
that you only meant well, well of course you did
this it's all for the best, of course it is
that it's just what we need, you decided this?
what did you say?


Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid sweet talk newspaper word cut outs
Speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit

it's a song.

midnight
lock all the doors
and
turn out the lights
feels like
the end of the world
this sunday
night.

somehow
i can't
seem to find
the quiet
inside
my mind.

oh
my fears have
cornered
me here.

*sighs*.

What you don't know is that when I watch Grey's Anatomy by myself, I inevitably start to cry, because George and Izzie and Grey do something friend-y together, and I miss the crew back in BC.

Not that those BC kids are perfect, and I think I romanticize this perfect life on the coast whenever I'm living in the coulees, but seriously -- home is cool.

So, I miss it sometimes, and I end up in tears, and I just want to call Mikael or an Andrew or someone like that, but I don't, because I'm crying...

There are these moments when things get really stressful, or I'm actually upset, or my ankle is killing me, and the happiness here becomes transparent, and I realize how much I miss home. Sometimes, most of the time, it's easier to forget that Richmond, Vancouver, North Van, Burnaby (gaglardi exit!), Abottsford, Keats, Anvil, ETc... even exist, because when they do exist, it hurts to remember that I have a home there.

When I procrastinate, and let people down, it's harder because there's no history for them to remember my faithfulness or trustworthiness...*sighs*. Maybe I imagine how well I'm known at home, but then I remember how Mikael would skip to my favourite track on David Gray even though it meant skipping hers.

That's what you don't know.

it's beginning to look a lot like....

christmas?

maybe not quite yet...but it's definitely been snowing here in Lethbridge. Snowing, but not sticking. So...it's cold, and snowy, but no fun to play in.

today in my lesson, Tony said that he thinks I'll be a good voice teacher. That in a few years, he'd feel comfortable asking me to fill in for him at a masterclass.

WOO!

it's a HUGE compliment. and, I might be able to get a job teaching voice @ the U of L conservatory...which is very, very cool. Better money than the B&G club, and no commute...and it's encouraging that Tony thinks I could do it.

Very cool.

This weekend (Fri & Sat) is the Mozart! mozart! MOZART! concert --- yippee!! I get to wear my gown, and sing opera, and curtsy in heels (harder than you think).

I was talking to Mikael the other day about the difference between Thanksgiving turkey etc. leftovers, and CHristmas turkey etc. leftovers. After Thanksgiving, the leftovers are cool, yummy, good times. After Christmas, they aren't as fun, because Christmas is over. It's the most anti-climatic (climactic?) time of year, so even cold turkey and stuffing isn't as exciting as it was a couple months earlier.

peace out.

I wrote a song.

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering
nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord
finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted
creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy
is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies
in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a
holiday at the sea."
-C.S. Lewis

I forget wherein this Lewis treasure is found, although I can tell you that the highlighted line inspired a song, and in fact these words found their way into my lyrics.

"Do I expect to little?
Am I arrogant to ask for more?
Am I too easily pleased with mudpies / ignore the beauty of the seashore..."
- m.appenheimer



So there.