sur l'autobus

hey.










on the bus:

remember the drew carey show? I saw a girl on the bus who totally looked like kate.

I also saw...something else that was funny....but now I forget!

I almost missed my stop, which is always amusing. Well, I did miss my stop, but there's another one close-by, so I was alright.

I guess that's it.

EXCITEMENT YES YES YES.

ahhhhhhhhhhh i'm hiding in my room

my roomies are cleaning -- with a vengeance.



freezer burn? we're throwing you away!

i'm hiding in a slight panic -- how can they throw so much food away, when i am rationing mine like a crazy person!

!?!?!?!!!!

Food is such a huge deal to me lately -- watching what i eat, watching myself eat what i shouldn't, being aware of me not losing the weight i want to...

gah.

i told them not to throw any of my food away -- some pesto-flavoured wraps almost met their doom.

close call.

phew.

rejoice!

I just hd the best voice lesson of my career! (so far).

no joke!

Sometimes, the people who teach you/surround you try and convince you of improvement, of having reached a goal...and sometimes you just know.

Today, I just know.

wahoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(ps for all the doubters, these flowers are the colours of my grade 12 grad dress -- gorgeous, like a sunrise).

words words words.

paul says:
g'nite melinda. i love you more than 34 1/2 road trains put together!

nelson mandela says:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

gracious and compassionate.

sometimes all you gotta say is "i need you". cuz this space is big and empty, and i can't fill it. and i fell while i was running. all my notes came out flat. my fingers hurt from strumming. i can't stay on track. grace and compassion -- i'll depend on you to be that. there's nowhere else that'll take me, and i couldn't get there if i tried. my legs are weak, my eyes are sore, my heart is broken, tired. i need you, i need you, i need you -- i've said it now.

he lifts his voice. the earth melts.

peace.

sometimes i do this

well, minus the boat.

see you soon.

I've forgotten you just like I should
of course I have
Except to hear your name
or someone's laugh that is the same.
But I've forgotten you just like I should.

I get along without you very well
Of course I do
Except perhaps in spring
But I should never think of spring for that should surely break my heart in two.

(note: this is jonathon and emily -- we all fell in love last spring. they were the strength i needed, the friends i chilled with, the voices that ring in my head, the memories on the shelf beside my heart, and the embrace my arms can't forget. i thought of them, and posted these jazz lyrics, because emily sing jazz).

resolutions presented resolutely. of course.

i just ate my last 2 cookies.

no more.

nuh-uh.

*sighs*

monkeys.

ben went through a phase where he always made monkey faces in pictures.

lizzy caught on.

here's proof.

you spoke my name, Lord. I was expecting shame, you spoke my name.

I was just chatting with my friend Natalie -- she's just over 8 months pregnant. It's amazing to me, and an honour to be involved in her life. She's trying to make decisions about this baby, without much support -- she's incredible. Stronger than I think I'd be. Well, who knows.

from psalm 139:
For you created my innermost being
as you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you, for you made me so wonderfully:
so wonderful are your works,
so perfect your knowledge.

I want to do that - praise God, because me made me so wonderfully. I can barely bring myself to think about it.



Lord, help my unbelief.

i hate technology.

soimbiddingonaipodminionebay.

tears of...

phew.

home.

what!?

today:
woke up @ uncle roy's. ate breakfast, showered, left around noon.30.
drove to pike lake. packed up my stuff, ate some eats, locked up the house.
drove to granda dan's. unchained the gates, drove up to the house. hugs and near tears with grandpa dan and grandma joanne.
packed bread (homemade, love g.pa), drove to airport.
checked in, said good bye, aced security.
called to check that my ride back to lethbridge was a-ok.
right?
right.!?

...

right .... ?

oh.

wrong.

10 minutes to take-off, and I have no idea how I will get home from calgary.
send 10 text messages.

board plane.
read german poetry (for school -- so much for "Reading week").
----


It only gets worse and better from there. Dawn Turnbull and her boyfriend picked me up from the airport. I know her from keats. I joined her family for her birthday dinner, and am spending the night with her sister Nancy, at the condo where Nancy will soon live with her husband, Brent (after they are married).
AND...theresa will drive me home.

SO.
That's it.




I'm going to bed.

incidentally...

my grandparents have been divorced for almost 40 years.

they both use 'incidentally...' as the lead-in to many of their 'new topic/question' sentences.

they have similar dishes for eating (g-ma has a set made by a potter friend in calgary; g-pa has also pottery-style).

they drink tea a lot (well, that's not just them).

they both have this maaaad interest in everything in the lives of the ones they care about.

they both have a few chromosones in my mom.

they both have amazing blue eyes.

incidentally...

we're online!

I am in Saskatoon.
I've drafted a few blog posts, but they are maybe not for the public. They'll stay in the privacy of my computer for now.



Family is good. Complicated. Sad. Joyful. Talented. Loving. Hilarious. Familiar. Accepting. Expecting. Witholding. Giving. Generous. Petty. Forgiving. Outrageous. Political. Involved. Opinionated. Irrational.

etc.

My uncle roy is a brilliant percussionist. He's married, with 2 great kids (and also, a great wife). It's so different to actually be around him -- different from hearing about him. I always thought he was so cool, and brag about his percussive abilities whenever I can.

Anyway. It's been a trip to remember. Drove into Saskatoon by myself last night, and cried over my family. Good to do. I recommend it.

Meanwhile at home, tragedy strikes for a good friend. I am torn -- wishing I could be there. I don't know what I'd do...but you know how that is.

love to you.

worship (got this from chongkid.blogspot.com)

Manley Beasley - "A glimpse of God will save you. To gaze at Him will sanctify you."

ponderings.

apparently, I've had a post by this same name before. Huh.

I was driving to Calgary with my friend Mel today (well, she drove, I passengered), and we were talking, and she asked me a little bit about my life. We're still getting to know each other...imagine that.

Anyway, I was wondering how my parents or siblings would have answered the same questions. What does my life story look like in their memories?



Deanna.
Mike.
Mel (the one I drove with today).

good night.

i will type the whole article, eventually.

"To the usually breathtaking question,"If there is calamity in a city, will not the LORD have done it?" (Amos 3.6) we're only allowed to whisper a resolute, pietistic "no."

Here God is dangerous, wild, and unpredictable. He is dynamite and a kidnapper. That's the God of Abraham.

quoting Anne Dillard:

"On the whole I do not find Christians, outside of the catacombs,
sufficiently sensible of conditions.

DOES ANYONE HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHAT SORT OF POWER WE SO BLITHELY INVOKE?

Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it?

The churches are children playing on the floor with the chemistry sets,
mixing up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning.

It is madness to wear ladies' straw hats and velvet hats to church;
we should all be wearing crash helmets.
Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews.

For the sleeping god may wake someday and take offense, or the waking god may draw us out to where we can never return."

from an article called "playing with knives: God the dangerous" by douglas jones.

"In our pietism, though, we tend to insist that God is primarily Nice. Period.

God is Nice and Nicer and Nicest.

The chief end of God is to be Nice. I believe in God the Nice. Maker of Niceness. In heaven, we'll all be Nice. Pilate wasn't Nice. He was mean and "mean people suck."

This whole modern Christian litany is so tedious and tiny.

Of course, other people -- equally foolish -- think the solution is to be rude and mean. Yeah, God isn't nice; He's rude.

But Yahweh is neither Nice or Rude; He is dangerous and unpredictable.

He is Trinity. He is Fire, and fire is hard to contain.

Sometimes all the advanced firefighting technology gets overcome in a canyon by a storm of flames.
Sometimes people freeze next to a tiny flame.
Fire's edges won't stand still; its borders aren't easily traced.

"Our God is a consuming fire."

God's command for Abraham to sacrifice Issac came right from the center of flame. As H.A. Williams notes,

"Whatever God wants in our relationship with Him, it certainly isn't respectability."

sun kil moon is a band. so is modest mouse. sun kil moon has released an album of modest mouse covers. read on.

context.





a'ight kids. look around the website, maybe it'll make sense.






also...context part 2.

cover songs.

sun kil moon.

covers.

modest mouse.

tiny cities made of ashes.


absolute genius. i downloaded it because of aaron braun. that kid is money.


it is really windy in lethbridge today. especially at the school, walking to the parking lot, brutal wind flying straight across the coulees. my forehead almost fell off.

that was awkward.

announcement.

because He works in me, and works all things together for the good of those who love Him (and have been called according to his purpose), because His grace is sufficient, and His wisdom confounds mine, because mercy is flowing and love changes how you are...

I applied for keats this summer. Worship director. or Captain. preferrably, both.


And, I will need a job or benefactor in may/june.


so...heads up. like, keep yours up for me.

It's windy in lethbridge -- should be @ -28 or -19 for the rest of this week.

oh. goodie.

say, say it again.

my fingers are sore from lots of guitar playing.

if you knew today was your last day on earth, where would you want to be?

good things.

(picture credit: dave delnea, of jessica and a boy in peru.

I went to dinner at the home of my dear Jessica's godmother -- Jean, and her husband Bill.

WOW.

awesome.

So much good conversation, and food and warmth -- and they invited me back! That's always good news.

yeah. That's really all for now.

Did you know there's a L'arche community here? I didn't. Now I do.

hiya.

just wanted to introduce you to...LYNNAE!!!



Lynnae and I have the same voice teacher -- tony the great.

ANYWAY, this morning, I headed out to the bus stop, beginning my ridiculous journey downtown, a fifteen minute drive, one full hour before I had to be there.

oh, the bus.

I was waiting for the bus, and my mistake was here -- I'd neglected to familiarize myself with the saturday bus routes. Because in Lethbridge, they're very very very different from the weekday bus routes.

I thought the bus was impossibly late, so I started walking to school, and just when I'd reached the point of no return, the bus went by.

ducky.

So, I walked to school, and then discovered what a mess I was in, because of the 'saturday' bus routes.

:P

In desperation, I called Lynnae -- and she, fresh from the shower, not yet beautified, said she would come and get me. She arrived at the school, looking gorgeous as usual, and completely saved my day.

She came with me to get my ears stretched -- and I am now sporting a lovely 10-gage ring. Mhmmmmm. Before that, I was at electrolysis, so this has been an invasive day for my face and ears.

OK. peace out.

buenos dias.

new perspective with the sun's rising.

my friends.

hey all.

today was weird -- this week's been weird.

prayer breakfast was...i don't know. i'm not sure 'how' to prepare for those, but i know i need to.

i have this STRONG sense we need to be more active, speak against the enemy, proclaim God's truth -- pray in all the ways i've known to be powerful etc...but i don't know how to 'make' that happen...
can i start by just me praying that way, and then...the other kids can either jump on board, or jump off the wagon?

dunno.

but...yeah.. more to say, no time to think of how to say it. so i'll go to bed.

love.

umm, i guess if you know something...

leave a comment.

this is an email i got from a friend...

---
Ladies,

There are a number of women, most in their late teens and twenties who passed
away last year due to blood clots that are believed to be related to the use of
the Ortho Evra Birth Control Patch. Many more allegedly survived strokes and
other blood-clot related health issues.

My Uncle is a Lawyer who is initiating a law suit with respect
to this. He is looking for women in Alberta and British Columbia who may have
used this product and suffered similar health problems (the problems do not have
to be as severe as described above). You are likely to have come across effected
women. Please contact me ASAP if you have a plaintiff thay can be referred to my Uncle.
The case depends on women willing to come forward.


Teresa
---


so, if this applies, let me know. k. good deeds, out.

just look at him!

K-Os.




He's just so dang cool.

is that really you, Lord?

fasting for a week.

what do you know about it?

tips?

this had to be separate.

i think south beach is working.
i'm about...7 pounds lighter than the last time i jumped on the scale, and about 10 or 15 pounds lighter than at christmas.

so.

hope.

hope.

hope...

something i often forget about. even though i can be passionate and mature and strong in this faith of mine, it is hard to live on hope. honestly.

today, i went for a run/walk, against the wind! it was to get out, and to force some time with my Abba. i rarely talk on those runs, i more just run, or walk, and think, and occasionally say stuff out loud, but it's more like, "i'm here. you're here. ok."

scintillating. ?

it was really good, though. something about the wind blowing fiercly -- the bite of it, the cold, the freshness on the air. reminds me of the ocean, where i love to go and sit, and not think anything in particular, just be.

be.

Safeway Savings.

It was either Ben or Elizabeth who, as a young'un, used to love pointing out 'the big S for Safeway.'

I bought groceries at Safeway the other day, and I gave my BC home phone number to the clerk, in lieu of a Safeway Club card.

The points went to RAJINDER RANA. 4446 points. To Rajinder Rana.

?

Burning to Shine.

a song by K-os, with the CBC Radio orchestra -- the last of its kind in North America.

I just watched a short doc. about it on CBC...and k-os (kevin bereton) said something that hit me..."something can't be truly creative if it's planned out."

That is something that's a real struggle for me, in music, and also in leading worship. That something can't be "real" if it's been planned out -- but I kind of think that's crap. Sure, something that's live and spontaneous and fresh -- there's a certain energy to that, but being able to take that, and work with it, and build upon it-- that's a part of the creative process as well.

I think he learned that.

I think I'm learning that. Or we both are. me and k-os.

he should hip-hop it up on my next album.

funny.

my friend Matthew wrote this when he...well, you'll get it.

Dear Friends,

The time has come. My resolve has weakened. My will has been shattered. I have crumbled before the collective cry of the telecommunication gods. I have forgone the highly charished privilage of an unreachable existance. It's true, somehow I have given in. I have become something new. My flesh has been forever united with plastic and metal to become a composite. No longer simply human, I am now cyborg-- a being equipt not only for the rigors of daily life, but also for the making and answering of phone calls at any and all times. No matter where i roam i will now be able to hear the ringing of mass communication within my fragile skull. I am a walking antenna. My voice is now but a small combination of numbers away.

(he got a cell phone).

ponderings.

I feel a little bit like a failure today.

Or maybe a lot.

I read a lot of textbook today at school, but it was psych 1000, and the scientific stuff doesn't stick as well as concepts and theories about human interaction (like in soc 1000).

I basically got home and ate a bunch of stuff I'm not supposed to while I'm on 'south beach'.

I have this hunger and thirst for God, for his righteousness, to know him more, for intimacy, for prayer -- but I don't really even know how to feed that a lot of the time. Or I feel like I don't...

And then I got an email from a friend today -- just an invitation to check out his blog/keep in touch while he's living out of the country.
In the year after grade 12, I basically had 2 friends who I spent almost all my time with, and he was one of them. Good times. Really good. For him, he was moving away from a lot of crap he'd been into with other friends -- recreational pharmaceuticals and the like.

Anyway, the pictures on his blog kind of sent me flying, and the tone of the writing too. Just a lot harder and more biting than I would've expected...and a lot more partying in the pics that I would've expected.

Just kind of shocked me. Maybe broke my heart a little.

There is so much more to this life -- this weekend renewed in me, reminded me...I will die for Christ, but I will also live for Christ. And I will absolutely fail in that. I will probably feel alone in it...and feel sorry for myself...

but I can see you again Lord.
I can see you on the horizon on my life...
I can see your sun, it's rising up...
and I don't have to be discouraged anymore.
I don't have to feel this loneliness anymore.
Cuz you're in my life, more than anyone could ever be.

-- jason upton. and me.

so. peace out.

words.

"my personal style is very stylish...i dress like i'm used to it."

--kanye west

story.

no words.

My friend Jon and I were out in Coquitlam once, and we drove past this guy's farm.

We both got so nauseous, we had to book it and fast.

For me, though, it was more than nausea, more than a sick feeling, knowing what had happened to so many women only feet away from where I was. I felt sick in my spirit. So deep, so deeply repulsed.

And then to think, that my Jesus, my saviour, my Lord -- he died for this man, too.

It's a silence...

dee looks good on fridays.

hi.

so that's mary-ann (ma) and her rad brother mark. yep. she has curly hair and in this picture it's straight...

just to clear things up.

ok, so i'm in edmonton at the 'break forth canada' worship/ministry conference.

i heard tim hughes, graham kendrick, andy park and....another guy speak today. about worship. it was pretty awesome. and tim hughes has a sweet accent.

Um, so mary-ann.

pretty much, she's rad. back in the fall, we had some groundbreaking conversations -- i'd say she's the person in lethbridge who knows the 'most' about me in a lot of ways. that was a huuge blessing, finding a friend like that.

in december, she emailed me and asked if i'd be interested in the prayer coordinator position with ivcf -- something i'd thought about anyway.

it's hard to know what to tell you about mary-ann. she's is a beautiful, passionate woman who inspires and spurs me on in my relationship with God. she's hilarious, with an infectious laugh that pulls me in everytime.

she's a friend for stars, tea, walks, accountability...she listens to my fiery frustrations and passionate visions.

aiiya. and she can sing.

mary-ann is just one more piece of life in lethbridge that makes it amazing.

and her brother mark is pretty sweet too.

grr.

There is almost always a cosmo at my house. The magazine that is, an issue of it. At my house. Always.

I realized something about it yesterday -- it's pretty much porn for girls.
Seriously.
Within its pages you can find a description of how to do (and how you *ahem* should be doing) just about everything and anything related to SEX. Not only that, but it also teaches you how to be...a consumer, in every way possible.

Kind of makes me feel sick. It's the same kind of trap that men fall into with regular porn, but I think it twists women in a different way. Not only that, but it also...how to put this...it really cheapens sex. When reading cosmo, it becomes so obvious that sex is pleasure, and the more for you, the better. It's not about love...if you can have a hot one-night-stand, then go for it.

the subjective objectification of women. or something.

Like I said, cosmo is porn for girls. And in that sense, the addiction to it is just as destructive as any man's addiction to porn.

mel out.

First Aslan and now Pedro -- it ain't easy being king of the jungle these days.

no more pedro.

my heart breaks a little.

or a lot.

starting over.

honestly, south beach wasn't going so good.

one day, i swear i ate a whole chicken's worth of chicken.

i still ate chocolate (damn roomies...).

and then...this weekend -- the opposite of carb free. i mean, we arrive to a bernard callebaut chocolate fountain.

!!

at that point, Dee said, "Ok Linna....what are you gonna do."

i was like "uh...chocolate fountain...and tomorrow will probably be something carb-o-licious for breakfast, lunch and dinner....i will start again on monday."

so, that's what i'm gonna do.

monday january 23-monday february 6, 2006, i will be doing phase 1 of the south beach diet.

end of post.

oops.

and also...iatecake.

better than a swingline.

"Even in peacetime I think those are very wrong who say that schoolboys should be encouraged to read newspapers. Nearly all that a boy reads there in his teens will be known before he is twenty to have been false in emphasis and interpretation, if not in fact as well, and most of it will have lost all importance. Most of what he remembers he will therefore have to unlearn; and he will probably have acquired an incurable taste for vulgarity and sensationalism and the fatal habit of fluttering from paragraph to paragraph to learn how an acress has been divorced in California, a train derailed in France, and quadruplets bork in New Zealand."

-- C.S. Lewis, surprised by joy.

Another Minna?! What the.....

Hello all in the wonderful world of Melinda's blog!

This is the before mentioned fantastic neighbor friend of Ms. Appenheimer here to report a rather bizarre story. It took place in my anthropology class this morning and goes like this:

Teacher: "Does anyone have a story about words they used to attach to people when they were young....anything."

Student: "Yeah...my sister's name is Melinda and I couldn't say that when I was a kid so I just called her Min or Minna instead."

Deanna: *Jaw dropped* (in her head) "But that's what MY friend Melinda was called. You can't have it! No you can't!!"

As you can tell, I was quite shocked, but very intrigued at the thought that Melinda was probably being called Minna around the same time this girl's sister was too just somewhere else in the world. How bizarre!

Never change Linna! (HA! no one can take that nickname cause I made it up when she moved to Lethbridge! I know...I'm a genius)

Dee is Over and OUT
(that's me in the picture)

le beach south.

so..
I've been "on" the South Beach Diet for a week or more..heh, but not so much.

I CAN'T RESIST THE CARBS...

Skakes is holding me to it (and the lovely Julie Cerantola knows I'm on it), and I was just reminded that everyday is a new day.

So here it is.

I ate my favourite ichiban noodles just now, and that's it. Tomorrow morning -- new day, new resolve. I will just do this one day at a time.

brr.

it's pretty much -1 today, but with windchill, i'd throw it down to a -7 or -10.

what th----

it snowed.
overnight.

i dyed my hair purple.
at 2am.


the two are not connected...or are they?

tips.

my friend ryan often asks if i have any tips.

today i found some tips. tips about working out.

here they are:

Some Tips To Remember


1. The more you go the more confident you will get
2. You will start to see results in three weeks if you go three times a week
3. Don't use scarily high fees as your spur to get you going ? choose a gym that feels right for you and pay as you go if you can
4. Be prepared to build up your fitness levels slowly
5. Remember people aren't looking at you ? they're too interested in getting through their own routines
6. Try to vary your workout ? some weights, some power walking, rowing, stretching
7. Try to go with a friend or join a class where you can make new ones
8. Find out if they do women or men-only days if that helps
9. Don't eat for an hour before you go
10. Drink lots of water


There it is.

TIPS.

i wish we spoke german.

I'm taking this class...a music history class...about Lieder, which is, essentially, german art song.

Mmm...

It really is beautiful stuff, even with a bare, bare, bare minimum of understanding of the language.

Take this, by Goethe (poet).

Uber allen Gipfeln
ist Ruh,
In allen Wipfeln
Spurest du
Kaum einen Hauch;
Die Vogelein schweigen in Walde.
Warte nur, balde
Ruhest du auch.

A poor translation:

Over all the mountains
is rest,
in all the treetops
you sense
scarcely a breath;
the birds fall still in the wood.
just wait, soon
you too shall rest.


Half the beauty of the poem is in the sound of the german (not nearly as gutteral and you'd think). The german word for peace, Ruh, is so peaceful sounding. Almost like 'roo-uh', but better.

anyway.

Also today, a watermain burst, and there was no water for me to shower, so I went to the gym @ school, worked out, then showered.

That's more or less all for now.

so. peace out.

here he is.

this is ben. sometime in his first year, trying to crawl on our parents' bed.

LOOK AT THOSE EYES...awww....

this is it. 5 weird this about me. me.

Alright, as tagged by my dear friend Skakes (cuz I don't know how she spells her first name, although I think it's Lindsey), I will make a list of 5 weird things about myself.

*ahem*

1. the only "boyfriend" I've ever had lasted about 16 hours...and a few years later, he was gay. still is. so...

2. I get an allergy shot (like a vaccination of sorts) every 2 weeks. I've been doing this for about 10 years now.

*sneeze*

3. I...just changed my mind of the one I was going to say. Hang on...

3. At home, I sleep with a plush-IKEA-duck. it's not because I'm lonely, but because my arms feel weird when I lie on my side (to sleep). my arms also feel weird when I'm just sitting, but it seems not entirely appropriate to carry the duck around ALL the time.

*cough*.

4. when I go to sleep at night, the room must be in COMPLETE darkness. during the day, it doesn't matter, I can nap wherevs. but at night-time...

5. I'm hella allergic to cats. except for one cat. I met him in the Cook Islands in May 2002. he used to sleep on my bed (fair enough, it was a mat on the floor), and I always got mad, but then...the little guy kinda grew on me. and as it turned out, all my protesting about being allergic was NO DEAL.

SO those things aren't too weird? But...hey..there ya go.


WEIRD COINCIDENCE...last year, @ school, I had one heckuva crush on this guy Aaron. Well...in the end, it ended. Hadn't talked to him in months, until I saw him, playing bass, at the New Year's Worship Invasion. We talked. A-ok. Closure, even.

LITTLE DID I KNOW...MA, Skakes, JonJon, Lucas Stone, and Robyn...Robin..., anyway, they came back from NSLC (that's all who went, right?), and they'd met Aaron's brother TIM from IVCF UVic. They also met Paddy or Patty, who I met, in Victoria, when I was with Luke Stones, hanging out post-Brennan Manning (and also earlier in the day, for a picnic of cake ala Andrew Dean), the VERY SAME DAY I first saw stars and Aaron in the same gaze (NO HEAD INJURY INVOLVED).

WEird.

mmmmm....

i am exhausted, and i don't know why. with sleeping in, i slept for 10 hours this past night.

argh.

yep.

take that, insomnia!

In the early hours of January 9, 2006, I studied the changing face of my digital clock for FIVE HOURS!!! 5!!!!

AHHHH!!!!

5.30 this morning, I think I fell asleep.

Woke up @ 11.36am, fully having slept through my first, and only, class of the day.

ARGH!!!

When I finally got up, I ate, read most of Nehemiah, then headed off to school.

Stopped by Tony's office, picked up some music for this semester, and my jury sheets (ie. evaluations of my voice final). REALLY GOOD COMMENTS. I was so encouraged by what the jurors had to say. WOW.

And Tony said: A professional career in singing is possible with dedicated work.

!

In Between Dreams.

Remember all that stuff about going for a run this morning?

HA!

First of all, I totally turned off my alarms and slept 'til 12.50pm.

Goooodtimes.

Secondly, it's snowing! Which means it's well below zero, which means that I'm not going to run!

Bah!

On another note, I haven't had an allergy shot since November 8, and I'm supposed to get them every 2 weeks.

AIIYA!

UPDATED

If I could have, I would have spent my day on a beach like this.




INSTEAD...I got up, went to school (one class), then came home.
On the no.11 bus. It's new ... only 5 mins home instead of 25! Heeeey! Well, 10 min, with walking. Still...better.

Then I napped!

Then I got up!

I watched TV.

I made dinner.

I showered.

I ate dinner.

More TV.

Pretty much, a house-junkie day. That's okay, I guess. I gotta sleep it up soon, so I can get up and run tomorrow.

Sheesh.

words of farewell.

"have a nice flight. read and listen to nice things in your ears!"

- matthew mcdaniel

elisa slept on the bunk above me for 6 months in australia.

HEY ALL!




elisa micheli, dts roomie, cool girl. This isn't a picture of her...I can't find my digital picture cd's (containing some of her). OH well.

living in NZ, sent me an email, this quotation..

“Just once we pass this way –
therefore, let's attempt something so great...
so imaginative... so demanding...
that when it has been accomplished,
all will know it could not have been done
without the aid and blessing of the Almighty God!"


word up, peace out, hollaback, shizzle.

new year indeed.

hello one, hello all.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


Wow. I rang in the new year with some very good friends by my side. No matter what's happening on a given new year's eve/day, when I end up @ worship invasion, I am so thankful to be there. It's just...perfect. The conversations and run-ins and catching up seem so ordained. The stuff that Ed spoke about last night was BANG, straight into everything I've been struggling with. The worship was real. Bass-boy (remember him?) was playing bass, so we talked after.

THE WORD WAS...talking about 'being conformed by the renewing of your mind.'

Just what the heck does that mean?

Well. Meditating on the WORD so that your spirit is resounding with it. Meditate on it, hold onto it in your MIND, which influences your WILL and your EMOTIONS and your BODY. The stuff of the word will stay in your mind, and it will be renewed.

Simple, maybe not the best explaining ever (I don't always blog my best wordings...? eh?), and SO GOOD. I felt like a blindfold was being lifted as I listened.


SO, that's newyear's. No more feeling sorry for myself.

POLAR BEAR SWIM!!! My first ever was today @ about 12.30pm, with Katrina and Aaron Bjornson. So fun. Pictures to come.

LOVE!

carved out of the forest

Stanley Park seems over-rated (on those gorgeous summer days when you think it'd be a great idea to picnic there, but so does the rest of the GVRD), but it is beautiful.
For those of you who don't live here, I wanted to show it off -- maybe it will strengthen your resolve to come out for new year's 2006/07, and we can ride the Christmas train together.

"A city that has been carved out of the forest should maintain
somewhere within its boundaries evidence of what it once was, and so long
as Stanley Park remains unspoiled that testimony to the giant trees which
occupied the site of Vancouver in former days will remain"
The News Herald - October 30, 1939

That's all for now,
love
m.

i do not think that word means what you think it means.

i was at london drugs with my mom the other day, and i saw some pillows on a shelf. normal enough, they were those pillows that are shaped to better support one's head and neck.

they were called "Cervical Pillows".

yeah.

boxing day.

i kind of boxed with myself today. boxing with ... my heart? i don't know.

i went for breakfast @ the bentall's, which was amazing. amazing because jenny is one of my best friends, because her dad is hilarious, because her food is so good, and her family is great.

talked with jon bentall for a few hours. he's getting married. ok, ok, so i was a tiny bit hearbroken when i heard that. but let's face it, i knew he wasn't for me.



he's so ugly.

the rest of this post would be pretty self-involved....realizing how much i miss home, in how many ways mikael is my best friend, how much i love walking on the beach, and having friends who love my family...

big thanks to aaron braun for giving me the day with mikael.

peace.love.don't get pregnant.

*ding, ding*

Hey All!
I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas (even if you don't celebrate it, have a great day!).
This morning I went to church, where the music was provided by the Appenheimer family -- kind of fun to play with mum, ben and liz.

I'll list my presents for you later, with links (just because that's fun...?), but for now...
I'm glad to be home, in the company of wonderful family and friends.

Thanks to Deanna for the phone call, reminding me of the beautiful people who are still alive and well in Lethbridge (and surrounding areas).

Peace, goodwill to all.

love,
m.

torn.

It's hard to know, from this standpoint, how to negotiate community, and living in 2 cities.

Being back at asap on Tuesday felt like home, but I am coming to know and love and be involved with churches/friends in Lethbridge as well.

Having friends in 2 cities isn't so hard, I can handle that. It's more the church thing.
I really like where asap is going, who's leading it, and the family I have there. I love the flags for dancing, the mood lights, the spontaneous shouts of joy, the awkward straining to stand, or to run or to jump...

So much growth, leading to transition and LIFE. It is something I've been able to totally connect with.

Lethbridge churches...nothing quite exactly the same. That's alright though, I wouldn't want a carbon copy...I don't see how that could be...good.
It's made for an interersting fall though.
I'm involved with 2 churches, at one with young adults/worship, and another just as a go-er. The first is smaller, maybe 200-300 on a Sunday morning? The second has 2 services, each with a couple hundred people, give or take (especially give me a break because guessing based on visual stats is not my strong point...at all).

As if numbers matter.

In the first church, young adults were some of my first friends, definitely some of my dearest. I am being known there, involved with the ministry, have coffee-d with the pastor.
The second church, as a of yet, has led to no meaningful relationships, except the ones I have with my sweet neighbour girls (and MA), and those have definitely been strengthened. Second church is going strong, with a focus and understanding of the work of the Holy Spirit, the importance of missions/evangelism, and a personal relationship with JC.

First church, love the senior pastor, how he speaks and teachers.
Second church, love the welcoming of persons with prophetic giftings.

On and on and on. The point is, I just don't know. Throw in my involvement (and executive position) with IVCF, interest in 'the Gate' (charismatic church, will go in the new year for the first time), and I'm pretty much as scattered in Lethbridge as I was here (BUC (dad's the pastor), asap, rock garden, worship invasion...), but without the rooting of a home community.

It's a post of questions, so let me know what you think. I'm not distraught or disheartened...I'm just wondering.

Merry Christmas Eve.

p.s. on the first day back.

i also got caught in several DOWNPOURS today.

talk about a vancouver welcome -- cheers.

first day home.

today i woke up, so comfy in my bed. i slept peacefully -- barely rumpled the covers.

i ate some breakfast, then drove my dad to work.

came home, and mended mikael's present. (plane incident).

went out, picked up jessica, bought a tunic from OQOQO (it's orange).

picked up zoe, bought groceries for an awesome dinner (me and jess cooked for my family), took zoe home, and then hit the homestead for dinner.

ate the awesome dinner, had awesome conversation on the way to asap, got in on some carols and good words and love.

bought anna's cd, reconnected hearts with friends, drove around listening to anna...cried.

basically -- i can't describe how good today was. i was excited to come home, not for the place, but the people. not the movies and games but the conversation and silence. not the parties and commutes, but the relief of being known.

i also realized how great lethbridge has been -- being accepted for who i am in a time when i couldn't even pretend to be anything else.

today was that and more and less and reminded me of why i love here and you.

awww shucks.

boo-erns...

Out-of-province students studying in Alberta, who filed a 2004 tax return in their home province will NOT be considered Alberta residents, and will NOT receive the $400 resource rebate cheque.

:P

Doesn't really make sense, because if you ARE an albertan, you just had to file a Canadian tax return -- federal tax returns don't change province to province.

IF I had moved to AB to live, I would get it.

BOO-ERNS!!

And also, merry christmas.

buddies who like to drink

shout out to chonger -- seeing me on your blog illicited a gasp of joy and nearly a tear.

good to be here.

(it feels like home to me...)

experiences

westjet:
leather seats (not ucky upholstery).
EXTENDED LEG ROOM (plus only 2 peeps in my row, so empty middle seat = heavenly).
little screens for each seat/satellite tv.
snacks/juice...blah.

guys behind me:
drunk
horny
in vancouver to get laid and buy a car.

Taylor:
made the trip ok.
case is banged up.
i almost cried.
but she's ok.

I'm home. VERY OK. Call me.

disappointed.

I will be home in ... 18 hours.

AHHHHHH!!!

THAT is NOT disappointing.

The disappointment stems from news that I probably won't be able to go visit my dear friend Luke over the Christmas break...he lives in Victoria, and sure it'd be easy to get there, but I'd have nowhere to stay....

*sighs*.


it's gonna be a'ight.

almost shaking

seriously folks.
T minus...41 hours and 45 minutes..

I think...

I'll be home Monday @ 7.13pm your time.

OHMYGOSH.

yelling without sound.

I want to introduce you to a very special lady.

DEANNA MATCHULLIS!!


(she really likes this picture because her hair is long).
It's hard to know what to say, really.
I'd like to find a song to sum up Deanna, but that'd be tough.

One day, after repclass (that's when all my voice teacher's students get together and sing), Dee said "hey, keats camps, my youth pastor spoke there." (I was wearing a Keats Shred Shed shirt that day).

Long story short, his name is Andy, he did indeed speak at keats, and thus Deanna and I were friends.

That day, I think, I saw her walking home...in front of my house...and it turns out she lives 2 doors down! WHAT!?

This lead to adventures in...buying Cinnamon Toast Crunch @ safeway. Dee found this HUGE box, so I bought it, and then I would bring her a bowl every now and then, just to say hi. This also started the ritual of me knocking on her window when I came over...sort of freaked her out, but it was fun nonetheless.

It's because of Deanna that I became a part of the Amazing Race pool (our team, the Godlewski Sisters, totally lost...ugh), and the brilliant succession of Tuesday nights that have highlighted this semester.

Through Deanna I met Mary-ann, Evie, Mel, Steph, Adelle, Andrew, Mike...Reane, Dee's family, River of Life church, Lindsey, IVCF...
and on and on and on and on...

When I met her, I thought about how, being new here, I was really at the mercy of anyone to decide to accept and love me, or to turn me away. She decided to love me, and so did many of the people she introduced me to...the landscape of my life here would look radically different had she not first welcomed me.

*phew*


(Clockwise from top: Melanie Schaan, Evie Taekema, Mary-ann Leitch, Deanna Matchullis).

Deanna's just pretty much what you could call rad.

She likes Strongbad, and my old Ukranian baba accent (shout out to chonger?)...
aaand....she's been an amazing friend to me here.

Dee...thanks for everything. You made my life here worth coming back to. Love you.

this is my life.

hey all.

i found this pic of the south side of the UofL fine arts building. it's from the website, hence all the type.

this is what part of school looked like last week, before the Chinook that melted all the snow, and left us with patches of dirty snow and ice....

and now it's -11 again, so i wish there was snow...

anyway..

PICTURE!

stream of (un)consciousness.

Here's what I remember from my dreams just before I woke up:

I'm in shopper's drugmart, I want to buy this japanese-style tea set, and it's cheap so I will but then it's gone and the guy buying it is having to pay $72 so I guess it's alright. I leave the store, but I'm leaving Super Sam's, and Shopper's is over by the Duke (a bar), which is more normal...
I'm at asap practice, and James is leading, but it's at udac (a church here, and it's going well, so we break for dinner, and I head out with Earl (? I think), and I don't want to go to dairy squeen, and then I'm back in shopper's for the tea-set sequence...
I head back to asap and I'm late! The prayer time is going, so I'm heading that way...I don't recognize the greeters at the door, but then there's Matthew wearing a dark grey army sweater, and he doesn't normally go to asap but he gives me a hug which feels like everything I hoped for in coming home. I just stay there and don't go to the prayer time instead I go upstairs, which turns into a shadow of my room here, and I go back to bed because I'm tired (this is where I'm semi-conscious), so I'm sleeping, then I get a phone call (my alarm going off), and it's this girl (who turns out to be a girl named Joanna from here) saying she's downstairs playing my Taylor on the worship team, and she's scratched it, and she can't even play at all, so I scream for her to put it down, and I get up to run down there, but I'm just wearing pajamas so I have to get changed, but I'm so tired and sluggish, I can't.
I get downstairs and take my guitar back, but it's not a Taylor, and it's not my Taylor, it's a...Fender dreadnought, actually. Maybe not a fender, but anyway, I start playing, or try to, it's hard to plug in because all the plugs are in weird places. James is telling me to hurry or something, but it's not him because he's in Australia...
The powerpoint is smoking so something's wrong and somebody calls my name, and I wonder if it's Matthew but I can't see him, then I see Jon Bentall, but he's on his cellphone trying to call the guy to fix the powerpoint...

THEN I got out of bed (for real) a decided to blog about my bizarre dream, which I will call...."home and back again but not really because nothing was as it usually is."

changes.

TODAY THE WEATHER HAS BEEN...

- a violent snowstorm.
- sunny, no wind.
- sunny and windy.
- cloudy with a little bit of snow.

TODAY I...

- sang my jury with moderate success.
- worked on my orchestration project.
- studied for my theory final.
- check my email lots.
- folded and put away laundry.
- didn't help clean house -- I was studying.
- started reading 'the Chrysalids'.
- practiced (voice).
- listened to music.
- ate 2 meals and a powerbar.

NOW I AM GOING TO...

- go to the gym.
- watch the 2 hour season finale of AMAZING RACE.
- study more theory.
- sleep.

WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY?

Franciscan prayer.

May God bless you with discomfort...

at easy answers, half-truths and superficials relationships so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger...
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may

work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears...

to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and wars, so that you may
reach out to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you

can make a difference in this world, so that you can

do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen.

what the crap!

I wrote that in my Sociology 1000 textbook when I read this:

"According to Emile Durkheim society has an existence and power of its own beyond the life of any individual. In other words, society itself is godlike, surviving the deaths of its members, whose lives it shapes. Thus, in religion, people celebrate the awesome power of their society."



'nuff said.

more wine?

the internet is so bizarre sometimes.

Since MATTHEW -->

went to the trouble of advertising,


I thought I'd do some too.





here's kate:








here's mike:


They're doing some cool stuff...



Here's evidence:



I decorated my room for Christmas and ate a poptart.

observances.

I'm pretty much a pedestrian in this city -- no more a part of the gas-guzzling, ozone-depleting automobile driven rat race.
It's an interesting position to be in, especially when it comes to WEATHER. For example, last night it was phenomenally windy, one of my first long, powerful wind storms in Lethbridge.
The snow here is very dry and light, so when the wind blows, in moves.
The wind last night piled the snow up into (in some places) 4-foot snowbanks.
Now, a person in a car might not notice how different these snowbanks were from the day before, but I sure did.

WHy?

Because on my way to the bus this morning, I had to run through them!

Landscape Appreciation...the new pedestrian movement.

news flash!

Today, justnow, I sat outside for about 10minutes...not dressed like an arctic traveller.

I think the frozen tundra of Lethbridge is thawing...the windy days of sunshine glory are back.

*Sighs*

no more hardcore prairie girl for me.

almost forgot.

I found 4 CD's of Rikk Watts' sermons in the IVCF office @ school. They're from a national student leadership conference a few years ago.

Neat, hey?

I put one in because I miss hearing the guy speak. Rock Garden...hold out for June. I'll be there!



That was ... I'm leaving.

hmmmmm....

hi.
I'm a little bit stressed out. But not TOO much...just a little.

I had to buy breakfast and lunch at school today...ugh, gong show.

On Friday, 325's (house 2 doors down) justin timberlake marionette was all tangled up. Andrew (the one with the niece) couldn't untangle him, so I gave it a shot...and I did it.
Andrew said he has a whole new respect for me now...it's a big step forward in our relationship.

TRUE STORY.

I'm exhausted and all a shooken up.



This is my young adults group, called Connections, from University Drive Alliance Church.

Yep.

That's us.

ha!

I definitely walked home today.

-16 degrees Celsius, plus windchill (or minus windchill...ie actually colder than -16).

Hardcore? Yes, I believe that is appropriate.

visuals.

here.
look.
listen?
feel.

cbc opens my eyes.

cbc.ca/docs

Tonight was "SEX SLAVE$".

brutal. I will try not to use profanities.

500,000 women are trafficked into the international sex slave industry each year. This documentary focussed on women from Moldavia (I think), Ukraine, and other parts of former Soviet Union. The women in the story were trafficked to Turkey, England, and Toronto, Canada.

In Canada, there is an exotic dancer/stripper visa program. Isn't that great? Women can be trafficked here, completely within the law! A new life in Canada, as a sex slave. I really think we should advertise this as part of our tourism industry, this beautiful program that gives such a wonderful opportunity to impoverished women. Who have been manipulated, lied to, and often kidnapped. Women who will be beaten, raped, tortured, sometimes to death.

SO. What do I do now? With this information? Knowing that there are women my age, being tricked into sex slavery by traffickers (some of whom are also women!) who will take advantage of...

Women from the poorest countries in the world, who only want to provide for their families by sending home a few hundred dollars a month, and they end up being prostitutes.

Women from Ukraine often end up in Turkey, and when they are discovered in brothels during police raids, they are treated as prostitutes, and illegal immigrants. They are sent back to their homes, where the traffickers come and pick them up, and re-sell them to some other dirty pimp, where their hellish existence will continue without interruption.

And what is it that women's "rights" activists fight for here? The right to choose abortion? Oh, grand. The right to equal pay? To equal educational opportunities? Standing in solidarity with women around the world who are being oppressed, of course. Clearly. Rallies of solidarity and peace songs and nudity (freedom!), so meaningful to a woman being raped 50 times a day.

Seething, is how this should read. Completely seething with anger and frustration and hatred and bold, bold cynicism.

Do you want to know who I'll be voting for? For the politician who has the brain and guts, conviction and integrity to stand up and shut up and effin' do something beyond wasting his or her breath and my time playing games of mud throwing, name calling, and crap.

2% tax decrease? Please.
Take 2% of our taxes and send it to African nations who are being devastated by AIDS.
Send it to China, to help the underground church.
Send it to Ukraine, send a team, start an organization to end poverty.
Food to Canadian children who go hungry.
Send it to India, break the cycle of lies that keep the Dalit as lower than second class citizens.
Shut down and rescue women from one brothel.
Apologize to Canadian Aboriginals, who carry an inheritance of oppression. Admit that WE WERE WRONG. Inquiries and conclusions and judge's decisions mean NOTHING when racism continues to be kept neat and tidy in a glass box called "institution".
To chinese immigrants, forced to live in underground tunnels beneath the streets of moosejaw.
Buy out a sweatshop in a small community in Bangladesh, build a school for the children, pay the workers money that will bring meaningful life...
And at the risk of being too lazy to do anything ourselves, give money world vision, redcross, christian children's fund, christian medical mission (meds for lepers)... some people have hearts and understanding of what the world needs. They'll do all the work.

These tax cuts are supposed to mean $4 billion dollars? Or $4 million?

All this scandal about wal-mart, using child labour. They're doing the "honourable, right" thing, and cutting ties with these factories. BfreakinS. Stay with the factories, provide education for the kids, real wages for the workers...as long as you're there, freakin' wal-mart, you might as well make a difference.

Oh wait...that would mean...sacrifice. Loss of profits. Work. Mmm...sorry, no. Too messy.

Oh, you better believe I'm honest, and angry, and determined. I will change one damn thing in this world if it kills me.

Watch out.

stupid short-term memory

Ok kids, I had this great blog idea, and then I forgot about it.
And just now, eating ma dejeuner, I remembered...and now I've managed to forget again.

SLICK?

I think so.

Thus, in lieu of my awesome post....you get this crap-post, consisting of me berating my memory for being what it is.

IN other news, I had to use the downstairs shower this morning. I used a little bit of someone's 'hemp bodywash', and it smells really strong, and is making me sneeze.


Choir concert tonight. Watching out...for greatness. And also...I don't have to be in stupid Vox Musica anymore. Argh. Hooray.

Ok. Well. Bye.

lethbridge frustrations.

ARGH!

I am a music major, and often my assignments require me to listen to music.
The library here has a decent CD collection...BUT WAIT....WE CAN'T BORROW CD'S FROM THE LIBRARY!!!!!

ARgh.

So I'm bringing my computer to school so I can rip music from the library.

--

Still no meaningful snow plough action around here. Not that it matters to me. I walk everywhere.

--

(not frustrating).
My friends surprised me last night...in the best way. I was having a difficult day...and as I walked to school for an evening concert, I was...
anyway, I got to school, and they'd saved a seat for me! Such a small, but awesome thing.

--

There was something else, but I don't remember what it was.
I'm heading into the orchestration project of doom, right alongside the theory project of doom.

--

peaceout.

snow snow snow snow snow snow snowsnow snow snow snow

it's snowing here in Lethbridge Alberta.
I guess this is what people mean when they say it's unpredictable. As lately as a week ago, it was 20 degrees outside, warm, sunny, perfect for running, walking, playing in the fields.
TODAY it is -10 (with windchill...as guessed by Deanna and I when we were walking home today), and snowing without any signs of letting up.

Thus, I am looking into purchasing some winter footwear.

a lil' more missy.

But time has changed nothing at all -
you're still the only one that feels like home.
I've tried cutting the ropes,
tried letting go but you're still the only one
that feels like home.

- missy higgins.


it's been snowing here...snowed on saturday night, i walked to church on sunday IN THE SNOW, and it's still around.
pretty neat. i definitely like it.

EXCEPT -- i don't really have any kind of suitable "snow shoe"...no boots...and i'd be way more hardcore about walking to school if i did. i don't like having cold, wet feet. but that's ok. i just take the bus.


FUN FACT: lethbridge has NO snow ploughs, and very few sidewalks have been salted.
so much for prairie snow skills.

new words.

You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.
The highs would make you fly, but the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there, hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know
I know
I know,
it's easier to let go.

- missy higgins.

good music.

GOOD NEWS!!!

There's an asap on Dec.20...THE DAY AFTER I GET HOME!!!

SO...I WILL BE THERE!!!

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HUZZAH!!! WOOT!!!

Praise God. I miss that community so much.

p.s. this is
natalie,
mac,
and jon.

you give me mercy, you give me grace.

I had a few home-moments today. I was thinking about a friend back home, then looked out the window of the bus, and realized I was in Lethbridge...
We watched a film in sociology, and I couldn't wait to get home and talk to my mom about it...
My heart breaks and is anxious for the camp I have served for many summers...
I would've given a lot of things to hug zoe...

or eat junk food, not worry about the cost (cuz it was in the freezer)...

I went for a run with Lynnae today, out into the road beyond my neighbourhood. We were running through fields, basically. And we talked about a lot. We talked about Mormonism, because I had questions, and she had answers.

My knees are sore, all of me is sore, and I'm ready for bed.

Lord, I wanna yearn for you
I want to burn with passion
for only you.

I am the 2006 Prayer Director for IVCF Lethbridge.

Please, lift me up. I can't do this alone.

you give me mercy, you give me grace.

E-X-E-R-C-I-S-E spells 'I'm tired.'

This is MIKE and DEANNA. Mike has appeared on the blog before, but Deanna has not.

About a month before I moved here, I thought to myself, "I wonder who my first friend will be in Lethbridge?" I thought that most weeks before moving here, just on and off, whenever I thought of moving to Lethbridge.

Well folks, I'm glad to tell you....DEANNA WAS MY FRIST FRIEND! We're in the same Studio (ie have the same voice teacher), and...it turned out that she lives 2 doors down.

She isn't a huge fan of this picture, so my real Deanna post will be later, with the picture she really likes. But, I like this picture, and I thought it would be a good pre-introduction, just to get you ready.

In other news, I went to an exercise class with roomie Carmen tonight. It was...intense. It reminded me of...my third week of running. GOod times.

I have to go type up my theory homework now.

Changing times.

I think I'm becoming a more (physically) healthy person than I used to be. By that I mean...
when I was a kid (ie 6 and under), I got a lot of infections (ear, throat, lung, bladder), and I was often on antibiotics.
When I was 7, doctors "discovered" that I had a host of allergies, which were spinning my immune system into a constant state of turmoil.
When I was 8, I had my tonsils and adenoids removed! This put an end to the 4-month bouts of tonsilitis I'd been experiencing every winter.
IN PLACE OF TONSILITIS, I often ended up with bronchitis in the winter, but maybe only one 2-week run of it, not 4 months of agony.
When I was 12, I had a month of severe asthma in the form of bronchial spasms. My bronchial tubes would close off for 10-seconds (in the midst of a coughing fit), and then would re-open. Asthma testing was inconclusive, the cause of the spasms was never specifically identified (although moldy leaves were thought to be the culprit, as this all occured in the fall of grade 7, and one of my "discovered" allergies was mold).
Tracking my medical health through high school, I was the only kid I knew who had an allergist, a chiropractor, and ear/nose/throat specialist (though I haven't seen him for years), and a GP who I saw once a week. That's right, age 13 was a banner year -- I started "allergy shots", because oral antihistamines were no more effective than sugar pills. I was still pretty regularly sick with bronchitis, ear infections...ugh. Throw in all the hormones and blabhblah social crap of high school, and ages 13-18 were a barrel of fun.

TODAY: age 23. Serious or chronic illnesses don't follow me so closely. I get a crazy cold/cough/throat/nose blech thing late-fall/early winter (ie, right now), and my allergies flare up in the spring, or at camp (uh, moldly cabins, dusty carpets, lots of grass and flowers...), but I am more or less healthy. I don't see a chiropractor very often, I enjoy quite a bit of physical activity (running, walking, chasing the bus), and I eat well...

BUT TODAY, today I went to the clinic at school to see a doctor, because I just can't kick this cough/cold that's been sitting on my head for a couple weeks. And it hurts to swallow. Boohoo.
Most people who aren't paranoid about infectious things probably wouldn't think twice about CHILLING OUT and letting it pass, but not me. I need to make sure that I am OK.

*sighs*

The good news is that I don't have bronchitis, I just seem to be prone to wicked colds.

woot, woot?

here they are!

ben and ashleigh.

so good looking, it's ridiculous.

so sweet, i can't even eat chocolate in front of them.