I recommend that each of you, at some point in your life, own an "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader". They are so random, so amusing...so full of more useless information than you ever thought you'd need...

Such as...(taken from "Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader", by the Bathroom Readers' Institute).

The Plaintiff: Joan Hemmer

The Defendant: Ronald Winters, owner of a chimpanzee named Mr.Jiggs.

The Lawsuit: Hemmer was eating at a restaurant in Freehold, New Jersey when she looked up and saw Mr.Jiggs walk in--dressed in a Boy Scout uniform. She freaked out and bumped into a wall, injuring her shoulder. So she sued. Winters told the jury that Mr.Jiggs was no danger to anyone: he was thoroughly domesticated, lived in a house, could even feed himself...and besides, he was actually on his way to a Boy Scout party in the restaurant.

The Verdict: "The jury sided with Mr.Jiggs."